I’m ready to kick some narc ass.


Yesterday I wrote my rant about my psychopathic sperm donor getting an increase in his disability benefits because of his “homicidal tendencies.”

I was amazed by everyone’s support and encouragement to call out this useless POS and fight the travesty of his being rewarded by the system for being a potentially homicidal psychopath. I’m grateful to everyone for this, because it’s given me the courage to actually take this thing and run with it.

The first thing I need to do is contact the newspapers, either by writing a letter about this outrage or better, finding a sympathetic reporter to write up the story. I could also write a letter describing this travesty to politicians who would be sympathetic to my case. It was pointed out to me that conservatives would have a field day with this, which is very funny to me because I’m anything but a conservative. But hey, whatever works.

Since some of you asked, let me give a few details about why the sperm donor gets disability income. He has Type II diabetes, knee problems (he has trouble with his joints and kneecaps), and a host of mental disorders: he has been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. Depression and anxiety are legitimate diagnoses, but PTSD is highly questionable and I know for a fact he does not have schizophrenia. He is a good actor and faked psychotic symptoms after his second rejection so he would qualify for a guaranteed income and never have to work a day in his life again. He’s actually a highly malignant psychopathic narcissist who is very intelligent but has zero insight. If you were to call him a narcissist, he would deny it or get angry. In fact, he’s very quick to call everyone else a narcissist, including me. If you asked him, he would probably tell you I abused him, and that’s why he has PTSD. In fact, he has said that. He’s a virtuoso at projection and the most skilled gaslighter I’ve ever known, bar none.


My father called him evil long before it even occurred to me that’s what he was. When he sent me M. Scott Peck’s “People of the Lie” back in 2005, before our divorce went through, he sent it with a note telling me to read it because it was about my ex husband. (I also discovered my mother in that book, and this horrified me but I knew it was true.)

It’s outrageous that this monster is faking psychotic symptoms and being rewarded for it. It’s outrageous that he claims to be a victim of narcissistic abuse with me as the narcissist. It’s beyond outrageous that he will be able to live comfortably, get full health coverage, and never have to work a day in his life and have plenty of disposable income from the back pay he is getting for the seven years he lived on my couch smoking weed and making troll posts on political websites while I worked my butt off to support him. It’s infuriating that while he lives the high life on his handouts, I will continue to be poor, struggling the pay the bills every month on my tiny income, not having any health insurance, and God forbid should I become disabled or ill, because there is no one who would or could take me in should that happen. If I get sick or disabled, I’ll be out on the streets. Getting disability requires that you do not work during the review process, which can take years. You need someone to support you during that time. If it weren’t for my allowing this malignant POS to freeload off me for seven years, that’s what would have happened to him. Oh, I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you.


Just writing this has made me angry. Dwelling too much on anger can cause bitterness and misery, but there is healthy anger too–righteous anger caused by realizing you have been had and are the victim of blatant injustice. Sitting around stewing about it can eat away at your soul, but anger can also be the impetus to get out there and make a stand. It’s the same sort of righteous anger that gave me the courage to finally kick out the psychopath when he physically attacked my daughter last year.


Standing up for my rights against a sick system that rewards evil and just plain laziness is a daunting prospect, to say the least, but I think maybe God is testing my courage and ability to make a stand. He knows I’m ready for this because I’ve let go of most of my fear. There’s always a reason for everything.

Fear is the only thing that holds us back from claiming our rights.

I think I’m ready to kick some narc ass.

ETA: I have one request for those of you who have Facebook accounts. Please share this on your timeline. I don’t dare post this on my FB account because it might be seen by him or people who know him, including my kids. But I’d like to get this out there to as many people as possible. Thanks!

15 thoughts on “I’m ready to kick some narc ass.

  1. I’d leave it alone because your daughter will be better off with a non-desperate father who has a home and money. I don’t want to see him trying to bother her in his desperation. For disability they do a lot of tests, you can’t just go in and do a “show” and get it, they probably know he can’t get a job in a million years. Please think about this one more. I also think if he finds out you tried to mess up his disability, there could be bad outcomes with that. They are testing him and requiring multiple documentation. Different states probably have different rules with Cluster Bs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What you say is true, but my primary objective here isn’t to see him lose his benefits but to possibly get something for myself and my future, which isn’t looking too good at the moment, tbh. I am so tired of living paycheck to paycheck.

      I will think it over and take the things you have said into consideration. At this point all I plan to do is write some letters, not hire a lawyer or anything. At least writing the letters will make me feel better about all this and give me a sense of empowerment that sitting around feeling victimized will not.

      I have no idea what my state’s laws are about using Cluster B or other personality disorders as qualifications for disability benefits. It sounds a little fishy to me. I am betting the “too homicidal to work” reasoning they are using is based off the fake schizophrenia and the fact he physically attacked his daughter.

      I do realize there could be bad outcomes and he could try to retaliate if he lost his benefits (but he probably wouldn’t because of his legitimate medical conditions, depression, etc.–he would just lose the increase in payments). He will most likely still have a home and plenty of money since he was getting the lump sum payment anyway. So there’d really be no reason for him to bother my kids. Of course I have to talk to people first who know more about this than I do, and can get some more advice from them. There may also be some abused women’s organizations who can help with this too, and they would provide protection as well as helping to alleviate the injustice.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Is this social security disability you are talking about? I used to adjudicate social security disability claims (decide who gets it and who doesn’t). Most claims are denied bc there just isn’t enough funds to go around and there would have to be significant proof (medical documentation) that he cannot work for at least a year. With that being said there is a fraud department with each ss state stability office that loves to go after these fakers. They are like PIs. Call the fraud department if you think he’s working the system.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I didn’t know they had a fraud department but that would make sense. Of course he would still qualify for SSI because of his legitimate medical conditions, but he is not schizophrenic. He’s already been receiving disability for about six months. It’s the increase I object to.
      I also think the “too homicidal to work” reasoning is ridiculous even though technically it’s not fraudulent.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Who did you hear the “too homicidal to work” from? That’s a weird one. in the state I worked in we never told the beneficiaries what reason they were receiving benefits (sometimes it was actually for different reasons than the ones they applied for based off the medical evidence).

        Liked by 1 person

        • My daugher told me–she was talking to her father who told her that. Who knows, it could all be bullshit. I need to find out more, obviously. I can’t prove anything but if he actually starts receiving an increase then I know it isn’t BS. If a story is written about this, it’s possible a lawyer may be used to do some more digging since he and his doctors aren’t going to be giving me any information.

          Liked by 2 people

  3. Lucky, who know here? i just advice you start off writing something to someone. In your shoes, I’ll be pissed too and oh my I can write and post them letters and all. Start, and you’ll find the light and inspiration cum motivation to go in the ‘best’ direction from there. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I feel your frustration. Lots of commenters on this, which is wonderful and I don’t know much about it. I know a little about feelings though. And this sucks. I hope and pray an end to money woes for our ACON’s. We all have to live in this world. And this world is not helping us, it is helping the predators, who did this damage and wants us destroyed. My mother has warring flying monkeys, and just recently a conversation I had with my aunt, was no conversation. I want to reveal everything to everyone online, go on a talk show, I feel so frustrated.

    But I think if you just feel your feelings about it, it will help you out here. That is what the blog is for. Although, I know that doesn’t help with finances for you. I know you want to go to war with your ex, but he has no conscience, that in itself (for me) will make it a scary prospect.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Lucky Otter!

    We never win in a war with narcissists. There’s no low too low for them to crawl and we will back away at some point. It’s not a fair fight…not if you have a conscience and don’t enjoy hurting other people to make yourself feel better. Most of the time, people LOSE when they try to get even or bring down the mighty narcissist. It’s more agony and more stress and more misery than it’s ever worth…unless of course, we need to defend ourselves. I dunno…I haven’t seem very many good outcomes when a former partner tried to bring down an ex. I guess you have to ask yourself, “How much time and energy and I willing to invest in this battle?”

    My daughter has applied for SSDI and she has MS, an incurable disease. The paperwork is extensive and she is being represented by a legal group, too. It’s not easy getting SSDI and even then, it’s a mere pittance compared to her former salary. If your ex is living high on disability, well…….he knows something the rest of us sure don’t!

    If it were me, I’d deal with my “envy/jealousy” that he’s getting something he doesn’t deserve and let the law deal with him if he’s taking advantage of the system. I would be very worried about repercussions if he’s unhinged enough to say he’s “homicidal.” I think he was probably embellishing his actual diagnosis in a way that would sound “big and tough”, like he’s a born killer. That sounds more like something a narcissist would do than admit he was mentally ill. The fact that he even said he was homicidal would be enough for me to stay away and warn my daughter, too. It could be a warning and I would, yes indeedy, take it seriously.


    Liked by 1 person

  6. Here’s another idea you might add to your arsenal–report him to the feds for fraud–he swore under penalty of perjury to something untrue–PTSD, etc.)–and he’s taking SS under false pretenses. Get your Congressman or Senator involved, too. The media these days is not concerned with evil people, so I’d wait to call the newspapers. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you everyone for your replies and advice. I’m still mulling this over but trying to not dwell on it so much. I need to focus on me, not on him right now.


  8. I have “homicidal tendencies” when I drive to work (f**king people with nowhere to go and all day to get there)….hm, wonder if I could get disability for that?!

    *pondering look on my face*

    Liked by 1 person

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