Uh…no it wouldn’t.

“Honor thy mother and father.”

For people who have loving parents this may good advice, but I don’t think this Commandment applies if you were raised by malignant narcissists.

I know many adult children of narcissists who have gone No Contact with them will not celebrate Mothers (or Fathers) Day. Some won’t even send a card.

I’m not one of those who won’t send a card for Mothers Day (I don’t hate my mom, it just saddens me that we never can have a normal, loving mother-daughter relationship) but sending cards on Christmas, Mothers Day and her birthday is just about the only contact I will have with her.

The frustrating thing is looking in the stores for an appropriate Mother’s Day card. Almost all the cards in the stores are sappy and sentimental that express sentiments like, “You are my hero and my inspiration,” “You were always there for me when I was down,” or “your heart is larger than Chris Christie’s underpants.” It’s very difficult to find an impersonal card that simply says, “Happy Mothers Day.” Sometimes the only cards I can find that don’t express a sappy fake sentiment I don’t feel for my mother are the funny ones. But my mother has no sense of humor, so those aren’t really appropriate either.

Usually I can eventually find a card that applies and doesn’t have a phoney message. But it’s not easy. I always have to spend a while looking.

What have your own experiences been, if your mother (or other relative) is a narcissist? Are you so No Contact you don’t even bother with cards, or do you have the same sort of difficulty finding an appropriate card that isn’t all flowery and expresses feelings you just don’t feel?

Mothers Day is sad for me, because sometimes I do so wish I could feel those flowery sentiments for my mother, but I just can’t. I don’t hate her though. When I think of my mother, I really don’t feel anything much at all. I feel as indifferent to her as I would to a stranger.