Anxiety spiraling into major depression?

Last week I wrote about my son’s dissociation episodes and panic attacks.   He got some anti-anxiety medication there, but they put him to sleep so they haven’t been useful to him, and the panic has not gone away.  He’s been able to manage it a little better, using some mindfulness tricks, but has not been able to see a doctor yet (he will tomorrow).  His two trips to the emergency room just told him what he already knew and gave him a few pills for the panic.

Since last Monday, he says he has had 14 panic attacks.  Today he tweeted this:

the last 2 weeks ive been in a very dark place. im constantly afraid, never happy. ive lost all hope and happiness. i feel broken. I’m only able to focus on my faults. making choices triggers panic attacks. im so fucking scared of life itself. help me.

This rose alarm bells so I called him right away.  He sounded alright but sad/down.   I asked him if he was having suicidal thoughts.  He said no, but he thinks about death a lot (suicidal ideation).   He also said it feels like someone else has taken over his mind and this isn’t him.   He can’t think of a specific trigger that would have set off the panic attacks.  It seems to me the attacks were and are part of a depressive disorder, possibly major depression, which is what it sounds like.

I made him promise not to do anything crazy.  He said he wouldn’t.   He did say he appreciates me calling him so much (it used to annoy him) and staying on top of the situation.   I’m glad he tells me everything, but I’m still really scared.   I can’t be near him right now, and that makes it worse.

At least he’s opening up and being honest instead of keeping everything inside.   I think opening up and talking about it is a good first step.   He also said he’s been thinking about checking himself into the hospital for a week or a few days.  I think that is probably a good idea, even though he will lose pay.

I’m asking everyone to send your prayers his way (or positive thoughts, if you aren’t religious).     I hate seeing him like this.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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20 Responses to Anxiety spiraling into major depression?

  1. nowve666 says:

    I’m really sorry to see this. You’re such a nice person. Your son deserves better than that. I wish I could say something to make it better. {{{{{Lucky}}}}}

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bobcabkings says:

    I probably don’t need to tell you this, but panic attacks are exhausting on every level, especially when they are so frequent, even to the point of looking like or becoming depression, so the question in your title is appropriate. I agree that his checking himself into the hospital may be a good plan. Prayers are on.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sorry he is going through this.
    The Spartan Life Coach has some interesting thoughts on panic attacks which might be worth looking at.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. He likes that you check on him so it must help him. Do more of that. Let him know he can call you too. He needs his mother right now and its nothing to be ashamed of. I once knew this really great lady who was 75 years old and she admitted to me that even she at her age needed her mother.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Alice says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I too wish I could say something to make it better. And I also agree checking into a hospital is a good idea, though I know missing work is another stressor. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh my heart and prayers surround you and especially your son. This is an awful situation you both find yourself in. Be strong for your child.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. geekkat says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I will definitely send him positive thoughts and keep you both in my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ll be praying for him. Feeling hopeless is no fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. geezer94 says:

    Prayers for you and your son. g

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Praying for your dear son….I can relate- my 11 year old sounds much the same. It scares me….I empathize completely.

    Liked by 1 person

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