I think Melania Trump is an abused woman.

I think Melania Trump is showing signs of PTSD.  Watch the way she flinches and looks uncomfortable when her husband passes her and touches her arm, before she starts to recite the Lord’s Prayer at the Trump rally in Florida last week.  Also watch the smug expression on her husband’s face after he passes her.

Melania has admitted she hates the position of being First Lady (because she is apparently an introverted, shy person — and English is not her first language), but I wonder if there is something more going on than just natural reticence and a dislike of being in the public eye.     I find it strange that she has rarely been seen in public with Donald, and seems to prefer to remain in New York with Barron, meeting up with her husband only rarely.   Whenever she is with him, she looks miserable and scared, and her smile is VERY fake.   When he does touch her, she always seems to stiffen, if not outright flinch.  She seems either disgusted by, or afraid of him, and possibly both.

There is also this video of Trump and Melania attending a worship service.   Melania is either moved by the song (which is very spiritual) or is just feeling sad and miserable, and toward the end she is wiping away tears, but Donald just sits there, with his arms folded, not offering her a hand on the shoulder or a hug or even a word of comfort.   He never shows any affection or love toward his wife, and appears to treat her like an object or a prop, just like the extreme narcissist he is.

Most of us also remember that viral video of Melania’s reaction to SOMETHING Trump apparently said to her during the inauguration proceedings (he smile disappears and face falls as if he just broke her soul).  This video also shows other evidence of Trump’s and Melania’s body language, that seems to indicate to me she is being abused.

Donald seems to ignore her or walk in front of her whenever they are in public, as if he’s ashamed to be seen with her or just oblivious to her presence.   During his inauguration, he just walked ahead of her, and Obama and Michelle had to lead Melania up the steps instead.   In contrast, Obama always acknowledges his own wife’s presence and seems to treat her respectfully and affectionately when they are together in public.

Some cynics criticize her for being a gold digger and says she got what she deserved.  Personally, I don’t care why she might have married him.   Maybe it was for his money, or maybe she really did love him, or maybe she’s a codependent type of person who is attracted to narcissistic men.   Donald probably lied to her  and swept her off her feet, the same way he is lying to an entire nation and appears to have swept at least some of his supporters off their feet.  I feel sorry for Melania. I think she is a quiet, sensitive person who is being slowly destroyed by this man. She’s smart to stay behind in New York with Barron.   She needs to leave him.  He may not be physically abusive of her (though the flinching makes me suspect he probably is) but he is clearly at least emotionally abusive and she seems miserable.  Melania Trump is literally a prisoner in a gilded cage.

This post is just my opinion.  I have no proof that he is abusing her, but I think there’s a good case to be made that he is.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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23 Responses to I think Melania Trump is an abused woman.

  1. Heartafire says:

    I do think that she is unhappy, I don’t think he respects women and she is no exception. She may have a language barrier, a very heavy accent. He seems to dismiss her as insignificant. I imagine his lack of self control has intimidated her if not frightened her. I feel sorry for her, I don’t think she wants this role she had been thrown into ill prepared.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I thought she was introverted when I read she doesn’t like to go out among people at night. I began to warm up to her when I read that. 🙂 I also wondered if her telltale grimace at the Inauguration was because she doesn’t want to be First Lady. I believe I read about her introversion in the transcript of Trump’s press conference last week. He also said they’re living in New York right now because it’s hard on a kid to take him out of school before the term is done, but will move to the White House later this year.

    But yeah, he has a history of (allegedly) mistreating wives, so it’s possible. I also noted how much attention he put on her looks during the campaign, rather than character etc. If a woman is valued only by her looks, and is getting into middle age, when even the prettiest ones start sagging here and there, what does she have to look forward to?

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I am still trying to figure out what he said to her during the inauguration proceedings to make her face fall like that. There’s been many speculations — but it’s clear not only by her facial expression but also the way he is smiling and then when he looks at her he stops smiling, and then turns back to the camera with that smug look on his face. He looks pleased with whatever it was he said and I’m sure it couldn’t have been nice. He also seems to have his daughter Ivana doing all the things the First Lady normally does. That might be Melania’s choice since she doesn’t seem to like her new role, but there’s definitely something unwholesome about his relationship with his daughter.

      I think her wanting to keep Barron in his own school in New York is another reason why she is staying there instead. She seems like a good mother and very devoted to her son. She’s hands – on and has said she doesn’t believe in hiring a nanny but being there for him. She seems like a good woman to me but very unhappy.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There are a lot of people who think Melania Trump is an abused woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have a theory perhaps you may think is “way out there” but first two additional observations about body language.

    In the video of the singing performance in which Melania gets teary, her legs are crossed away from him. But Trump’s expression and folded arms indicate as well a “defensive” stance, but almost critical, or angry, and implies he is not comfortable with a sentimental singing performance or thinking about something else entirely. Which leads me to my “way out there” theory which is actually not so way out there among some psychiatrists.

    I believe Trump is abusive towards her, but more – there is something Melania knows that could expose him. It is like he has threatened her, thus the FEAR of repercussion if she does or says the wrong thing. The talking over her signifies to me that HE thinks she could stupidly let something slip unless he dominates her at all times.

    Now it’s clear that Trump is not comfortable with expression of emotion or sentiment, as if such a thing is a sign of weakness. But I think when you described Melania as a prop, you were on to something even bigger than you realized. His over bravado, over bragging and over “masculine” “locker room” talk about sexual exploits with women at egregiously inappropriate times, just add to the theory that Trump is a closet brute homosexual.

    Remember Roy Cohn, the brute homosexual, mafia connected sadist who was Trump’s mentor, who said Trump was colder than him, in fact “pissed ice water”? Oh yeah. They hung around a lot… Trump may swing in both directions.

    Brute homosexuals are not femme homosexuals. They typically are not for gay marriage, despising weakness in both men and women. (Thus the degrading remarks towards Megan Kelly for menstruating.) They usually marry women.

    The brute homosexuals who made up Hitler’s army married. They selected “choice” wives to perpetuate their “superior” seed, the “superstar” race. Note how Trump describes his wife and daughter by body parts as if their worth relegated to breeding and show.

    So that’s my theory. No proof, but I think it’s a pretty darn good one.

    Liked by 2 people

      • AND the sexually suggestive remarks towards Ivanka (emotional incest) in public also lend credence to my theory that Trump is a closet brute sadist homosexual.

        I mean, who does that, stress that he is so attracted to beautiful women he could almost molest his own daughter? If he WAS attracted to his daughter physically I think he would “hide” the attraction, not “emphasize” it.

        I imagine it as a diversionary tactic – to make the public think he could even want sex with his own daughter, so they won’t take a look at what else he is attracted to – or has done sexually.

        It’s almost as if he does not even know how healthy heterosexual men really talk about women or think about women, so he over exaggerates the worst stereotypical behavior – faking it – to make a point.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          I never thought about it this way before. The remark he made about his daughter told me much about his character — that he has no morals. But I never considered he may be trying to deflect attention away from the fact he might really be attracted to men and trying to “prove” he’s a man attracted to beautiful women — but his own DAUGHTER? It’s so creepy — and what’s even creepier is the sexual nature of their relationship. I don’t understand how people with “Christian morals” or even a woman with any self respect could have voted for this POS.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Oh, I agree totally Otter. And what strikes me about Trump is his seeming unawareness that he is saying criminal like things in public, or actual bravado that he gets away with saying criminal like things in public.

            This is a hallmark of the sociopath. Remember when he bragged that he could shoot someone in the streets his supporters would still support him?

            But to brag about one’s own daughter in a sexual way, one has to wonder, would a man really guilty of “just” over fantasizing with women really not have the wherewithal not to brag about his own daughter’s breasts?

            Perhaps in reality, he has a fettish for little boys.

            For closeted brute homosexuals, they might not understand how heterosexual men might brag, or, like I said, bait and switch. Exaggerating male tendencies is a sign of something else … in the closet.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I did not realize until I started studying the militant homosexual pederast network within the Catholic Church and other churches how diverse the “homosexualities” were, and how much, for example, my femme homosexual friends suffered at the hands of certain brutes. The brutes bear an underlying hatred and contempt for everything “feminine” “weak” or “vulnerable.”

              Is that not Donald Trump in a nutshell?

              Think of Trump’s expression while having to subject himself to the sweet, sentimental church music with Melania. One can just imagine the foul, hateful epitaphs running through his mind. And think of his crude remarks about women and in particular those who marched in the women’s march.

              “Prominent among these themes…is the utterly demeaning and hateful language connected with the females in general and lesbians in particular…a pathological anti-woman bias…”

              Also from Randy Engel’s The Rite of Sodomy, referring to the study of the personal diaries of prominent brute homosexuals throughout history:

              “As a vanity mirror reflects one’s physical features, so these diaries reveal a great deal about the narcissistic impulse of the homosexual psyche as well as provide information, though not always of the reliable kind, on the secret, double life of man of these individuals.”

              Brute homosexuality is also a secret means of social and political advancement.

              Here’s someone else who shares my theory about Trump:

              http://blog.seattlepi.com/capitolhill/2016/10/20/%EF%BB%BFis-donald-trump-gay/

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  5. ashualec says:

    I have observed that almost all successful people ( with v few exceptions) are extremely abusive with atleast one more person in their family. They feel that the other person is piggybacking on their hard earned success and they SHOULD accept their outbursts.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. nowve666 says:

    I studied those clips diligently and I must admit I didn’t see much of what you were trying to point out. She does look unhappy much of the time but the entirety of these clips only amount to a few moments in time. Michelle Obama probably has unhappy moments too. Everyone does. But these clips are so selective, they aren’t enough to provide conclusive evidence of abuse. She does look submissive to him but that’s normal in many cultures. She’s kind of what they call a “trophy wife.” I was a kind of “first lady” in the BDSM liberation group in New York, The Eulenspiegel Society, with Jack Jackson, my old man or “master” as we said. A lot of girls see their role in public that way and enjoy it that way. Of course, she could be abused, for all I know. Did you ever read Ordeal by Linda Lovelace? She was a slave to Chuck Traynor (not a consensual one) when she made Deep Throat and everything she said in public was controlled by him. So it’s certainly possible for a woman to be living in an abusive relationship covertly.

    I watched Trump’s speech to Congress with Pence and Ryan behind him. Every time the audience applauded, those two had to jump up like little Jacks in the Box. It must have been extremely tedious for them. Ryan looked visibly bored part of the time. While Trump was talking about that Naval Seal who died in service and whose widow was in the audience, Ryan looked like he was composing his face to look like he was in church. I also remember people talking about Barron’s face during some long ceremony. I think that must be very hard.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think we all agree the clips are not “conclusive” but I see a very depressed, dominated and dare I say it, “threatened” woman there – not a woman who “likes” it. It’s as if her every attempt to smile is a frightened “attempt” (that’s my point) to play a fake role correctly.

      Maybe he hurt her hand when he twisted it, and maybe he did not, but those who have been treated such by a brute male recognize similarities – the unspoken, subtle threats of promised punitive action – should one not “play along”, “compose” that face correctly, etcetera, etcetera.

      Normally, when non depressed people are not “trying” to compose an expression their default expression is not one of pain, but hers is. Depression is her default, natural expression, when in his presence.

      I do think your reference to German style BDSM is very insightful however, as this “culture” exemplifies dominance and utilization of women (however consentual it may be.) It reminds of post WWII Germany when that “culture” became nihilistic, after being faced with hard to swallow, irreconcilable realities,which were like evidence of a citizen’s own guilt, or the result of their passive non involvement. Lots of sadistic style sexual trends surfaced, and remember in the 80’s – Boytronics – one of the fascist style, industrial brute homosexual bands?

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I feel sad for her. No wonder she wants to stay in NYC. She can breathe there without being dominated.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Deb Johnson says:

    You people are terrible. You judge a person based on body language. Even the best of marriages are difficult. I cry during meaningful spiritual songs because I feel God’s presence. My husband is not as emotional but it doesn’t signify abuse. The cameras are on them constantly so little or no emotion may be their safest choice because of all the false stories.

    Like

    • luckyotter says:

      If Melania crying during the worship service was the ONLY indicator, I would not see a problem. It’s certainly normal and common to feel moved during such a performance and even moved to tears. It’s all the other evidence — the way he walks ahead of her, doesn’t acknowledge her, twists her hand, and seems dismissive and cold to her. But more than that is how scared she looks of him, and probably most telling, the way she FLINCHES when he touches her. There is also the fact (which HAS been proven) that he objectifies women and talks about them as if they are a lesser species and are only good for one thing. He cheated on his first wife Ivana and raped her. Men like that do not change. He has no respect for women.

      True, there is no PROOF that he is abusing her, but psychiatrists have a consensus that he is an extreme or malignant narcissist and most lay people who are familiar with NPD or narcissism agree with that, based on his overall behavior. Almost all — if not all — malignant narcissists are emotionally abusive AT THE VERY LEAST. So, I think it’s pretty safe to say he is MOST LIKELY abusing her. Did you not notice the disclaimer at the end of my post, that it’s OPINION?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Interesting comment. Deb, in what regard was any person “judged” in this thread? Body language, on the other hand, has been judged to determine potentially dangerous activities, mental disorders, personalities and victimization by everyone from FBI profilers, psychiatrists, social workers to motivational counsellors.

      As well, no one in this thread is uneducated to the red flags of abuse, nor have they limited the evidence regarding Trump to a few videos, or pronounced any conclusive “infallible” declarations.

      You have though. You have judged our motivations and pronounced us “terrible.” It is you who know not of what or who you speak.

      Liked by 1 person

      • luckyotter says:

        Yeah, if saying we are “terrible” without even knowing us isn’t judgement, then I don’t know what is. Another red flag to me was her use of the term “You people…”

        Like

        • Otter, language fascinates me.

          I am a stickler for its proper use; not so much in ways of grammar, but for accuracy in meaning, intellectual honesty, and context. Sadly, much of society is shamefully sloppy in the use of language. “Judging” has to do with “knowing” the motives of a person and condemning them as willfully culpable, or not, of something terrible. Someone can also be judged “innocent”. But judging is concerned with the inner workings of man, to which only God is infallible and usually privy.

          Of course, judging is not “discerning” through observation of what another expresses, or what the other public expresses, what “might” be “happening”.

          I am awed at the power of language, verbal and body language, to uplift, create, communicate, and to express. However, I am also horrified at the potential for harm should language be misused, to confuse, hurt, manipulate – or even dehumanize people.

          I must admit, when Trump started speaking of undocumented immigrants and refugees falsely as more potentially criminal, and the worth of women in terms of their degree of attractiveness, or referring in public in not so veiled ways to women’s menstrual periods (as if that was perfectly acceptable, because after all, they were just women – who dared to disagree with him) I was reminded of how Nazi Germany first launched its attempt to dehumanize Jews through the use of language rhetoric. I am curious if you or any others who read this blog had that thought, or similar ones. Trump’s use of language dehumanizes “decreases the worth of” the feminine, the weak and the vulnerable.

          And the expression “you people” can do this as well.

          In itself, this phrase is not necessarily injurious. Can we pin down someone for intentionally insulting us just because they use this expression? Not precisely. One can imagine someone saying – “You people” surely know how to barbecue – without the barbeque chefs taking offense. But in terms of the polarizing political subjects going on today, one labeled with this rebuke feels, well, polarizing intent, purposeful separation, the name caller’s unspoken “I’m better than you” attitude, in a poor attempt to stereotype us into an “insultable” or “bad” entity.

          My ex used to refer to all the relatives and friends in my life who still loved and supported me as “you people” – when they had done them no harm – or even when they expressed kindness to him, as if his use of the label “you people” was evidence enough that they were his enemy, had devious intent, motive, or did all kinds of bad deeds in the dark.

          I remember one time he ruined our planned joint dinner plans at a formal restaurant because he refused to wear a tie. The fact that the other men invited him, those who were going to treat him and pay for our dinner, those “you people” succumbed to putting on ties, did not convince him to cooperate so the evening wouldn’t be ruined, even though they had clip ons available at the door. My ex’s choice of the words “you people” seemed to suggest less intelligence, more gullibility, a lower class for all tie wearers, when he was the one being intentionally crass, ungrateful and ungracious.

          Of course all those who had dressed up to show respect for one another quietly thought of him as a jerk, but I still imagine he had successfully belittled us in his mind.

          Liked by 1 person

          • luckyotter says:

            Good points made here. “You people” is injurious simply because it implies that “you” are not like “me,” meaning “I” am better. The judgment and condescension are implied but are very clear. A similar thing can be seen with certain religious types who say in a simpering, patronizing voice, “I will pray for you.” On the surface, the message SEEMS charitable, but when said in that condescending way, it implies that they believe you have some moral failing that led to your situation, and the implication is that they are “better” and you are inferior to them. I don’t want any prayers from people like that.

            Both “You people…” and “I will pray for you” (said in a sickly sweet, condescending way, sometimes with an insincere “dear” or “honey” tacked on) are favorite phrases among narcissists used to belittle you. You can bet the minute you’re out of earshot, they will be stabbing you in the back and not praying for you.

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  9. Jorge A Gonzalez says:

    I don’t think people get this easily they have to overcome but dysfunctional marries dysfunction
    We subconsciously marry our parents model of behavior

    So if you want to get an idea of how it is possible that Melania married Donald Trump all you have to do is look at a picture of Melania’s father. The similarities in appearance and brash style are truly remarkable.

    What most of us don’t realize is that we just came out of a narcissistic presidential for eight years and dive into another one. What we also don’t realize is that the losing party main candidates were also extremely pathologically narcissistic and sociopathic

    Hillary exhibited psychogenic movements during her moments of stress and having to uphold a false image decorum i’m paying a very high price of anxiety and mannerisms not fit for the Presidency
    Don’t resist necessarily as a political, look at it yes as of what we will love this country to turn into. Think of the price that our children will have to bear . I think Melania is a trophy wife in the gilded cage but not withstanding this a credit her for wanting to Parent her only son.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      It would make sense she would be attracted to someone who reminds her of dear old dad. I saw a picture of him — he even looks like Trump. I pray for her.

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