Two years ago, right wing Fox News loudmouth and conspiracy theorist Sean Hannity (or maybe it was Bill O’Reilly — what’s the difference?) started foaming at the mouth about a fictional “war on Christmas” because Starbucks decided to use plain red coffee cups instead of cups having printed Christmas decorations on them.   Oh, the horror!   Red coffee cups!  No snowflakes or Christmas trees (as if those things have anything to do with Christmas anyway, because they are actually pagan symbols of the Winter Solstice).  Sweet Baby Jesus, Christians are being persecuted!   What’s next, will the libruls start throwing Christians to the lions, like Nero did?

Oh, but the Red Cup Heresy was NOTHING compared to the horrors Starbucks is forcing upon far right evangelical Christians in 2017.  No, now they’re promoting (drum roll, please) The Gay Agenda!    Oh dear God in Heaven, Starbucks is the right hand of Satan!   What will we tell the children?   This is an attack on the Traditional Family!  The Deep State (with George Soros providing the funds) is behind this ungodly propaganda, and the next step is One World Government.   

Now at first glance Starbucks seems to be going overboard making up for those offending red coffee cups of two years ago, because of the excessive busy-ness of this year’s holiday oops, Christmas cups.  They have so many decorations on them that even Santa’s elves might have epileptic seizures.   The most offensive thing about them is that they are tacky.

But no, tackiness isn’t the problem for these Fox News mainlining, MAGA-hat-wearing, Birther conspiracy believing, Roy-Moore-is-Not-a Pedophile-Well-OK-Maybe-He-Is-But-We’re-Supporting-Him-Anyway-Because-He’s-A-Righteous-Dude group of evangelicals — a group of extremists who see whatever they want to see, even if that thing does not exist.  See, the problem here isn’t tackiness or pagan symbols or the lack of pagan symbols (plain red) on a throwaway coffee cup.  No, it’s the two clasped hands on the upper part of the cup.  Oh Dear God!  Those are lesbian hands!  Starbucks is promoting The Gay Agenda by printing a picture of lesbians holding hands!

Let’s use some critical thinking here (something the types of people screaming about hidden Gay Agenda on Starbucks cups are not too familiar with).  Look very closely at those two clasped hands.   It’s a stretch, in my humble opinion, thinking they even look like two female hands. One or both could be male. One is bigger than the other, after all.  The hand on the left appears to be wearing bangle bracelets, while the hand on the right (the bigger one) is wearing no jewelry.  Even if it is two women, why do they have to be lesbians? Maybe they’re just BFFs. Or mom and daughter.  Or sisters.

Conclusion:  There is no Gay Agenda hidden in Starbucks coffee cups.  It’s nothing more than another stupid distraction so Fox News need not address the real and serious issues our country is facing.

I swear these numbskulls LOOK for this shit.  It’s ridiculous.

Is this what they see on a Starbucks cup?

Further reading:

10 Reasons Why The War on Christmas is Bogus