Nothing much to say.

nothingtosay

My daughter broke up with her boyfriend (the engagement has been off a few weeks) and she and her dad (my ex) are going to get an apartment. I worry about that, because it seems like he is freeloading off her the way he used to freeload off of me.  He uses her guilt and  feelings of duty to him to get what he needs from her.    She has a good job and seems fairly happy, and he isn’t abusive to her in the same way he was to me (he doesn’t dare and he’s too ill now anyway) but I still worry because that’s not much of a life for an almost 23 year old.  She seems incapable of maintaining a relationship for too long because she grows bored once the limerence wears off.

Sometimes I worry that she’s going to wind up being  one of those dutiful adult daughters who never marries or has a family of her own but devotes the prime years of her adulthood caring for her aging parent, in this case one who she has a very codependent relationship with and manipulates her to get his way.   I don’t want him to devour her soul, but ultimately it’s her choice.  She knows it’s not a very healthy relationship and she’s a codependent sort of person, but she loves him and feels like it’s her duty “because he has no one else.”

She’s spending a few days at my place, but she has to sleep on the couch because my housemate has the other bedroom.

I saw my therapist tonight and I wasted time talking about everything but my feelings.

Other than that, I don’t have anything else to write about tonight.