Being discovered online by your narcissists.

Woman using tablet outdoor.

Back during the winter, I made the mistake by sharing an article on a social media platform that several members of my family use, including my narcissistic mother.

It came to my attention (through my son) that they did in fact find my blog and it was being read. I was horrified, but I was fortunate because not a word about it was ever said to me. Oh, I’m sure they talk amongst themselves about what a horrible person I am to have a blog where I talk about my family the way I do, but it’s not as if they weren’t already saying mean things about me behind my back anyway. I know they probably still read this blog, but I no longer care. In fact, sometimes I think it may be a good thing for them to see in print was I was always too afraid to say.

Another blogger I know has a far worse family than mine. The psychological abuse this woman suffered, especially at the hands of her MN mother and sister, was so extreme that the stories she tells about them would be hard to believe if I didn’t know they were true. Her family REALLY hates her, and her sociopathic mother has turned every member of the extended family against this woman.

She just wrote a blog post about getting several ugly and hateful anonymous messages, after she too made an error where she might have “leaked” the fact she has a blog about her narcissistic family. Based on what she has said about them, I think these people are extremely dangerous, far more dangerous than my family ever was. So even though this woman and I are no longer friends (that’s another story I won’t get into here), I am worried for her. So I’m asking for your prayers and positive thoughts that nothing untoward happens if it’s true that her family found her blog. These people are incredibly toxic.

10 thoughts on “Being discovered online by your narcissists.

  1. That is scary. I am pretty sure I know who you mean and I just said a prayer for her. Even though I was very unhappy with the way she treated you several weeks ago — if this is the person I am thinking of — she is still a precious human being with many good qualities.

    No one is perfect and no two people are ever going to see eye to eye on every issue. To make total perfection and 100% agreement a requirement for friendship is an excellent way to assure you won’t have any friends. Slaves, maybe, but not true, honest, genuinely caring friends.

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    • Thanks….we’re not exactly friends anymore but I don’t hold grudges. She also has a good blog and I still read it. That’s how I found out about this. Yes, it is very scary. Praying. Her mother and sister are especially evil. Think of Cinderella. I won’t go into the details (it’s not my place to) but take it from me, these are just about the most abusive “family members” I have ever heard of. Their hatred knows no bounds.

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      • I think when someone grows up as the scapegoat reject in a “family” that bad, it seriously messes with one’s ability to ever have truly healthy, well balanced relationships. So if her mother and sister really are as bad as you say, that is undoubtedly the reason why she reacted to your controversial post in the way she did.

        I believe my own momster and other family members were also about as bad as it gets. But in my case, my biggest struggle isn’t in relationships, it’s in the fact that I almost never am able to relax and feel safe. I am constantly expecting the worst, waiting for the next trauma or tragedy to hit. It is EXHAUSTING! This is why I so often withdraw, shut down my blog, or disable comments. I do not have the inner strength and security to let myself be very vulnerable. And I sure as heck don’t have the ability to handle the little pig style haters.

        That is what I admire the most about you, Lauren. You have a strength and grace that amazes me. 🙂

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        • I agree, I think abuse that bad seriously messes with your mind. My parents were pretty bad, but compared to hers, they were the Parents of the Year! LOL!

          I have the same problem as you, though maybe not to the point of shutting my blog down and disabiling comments, etc. I always felt like I could relate to you even though our experiences aer different. I’m very reserved in person, barely say anything…I am so afraid of rejection and disapproval. Sooner or later I seem to either run people off or reject them myself. I’ve gotten a lot better about this, but I don’t trust people enough to have friends offline. Yes, I know these are characteristics of both my BPD and Avoidant PD’s but I believe these disorders were caused by my family and also a lot of bullying by others when I was very young. I find it hard to trust anyone or have lasting, satisfying relationships. I mostly keep to myself. It’s not much of a life. My life is on here. So I’m pretty messed up in the head too.

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          • Its difficult with family. Its not until recently that I post photos and have turned my energy to focus on what I love. Art, writing and music. I feel the excitement I need to feel within Punk Rock/Metal.

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  2. We cannot choose our families, but we can choose how we interact with them as adults, especially how we react to whatever they may say about or to us. I am at this moment with my sister who I know cares more about her dog than she does about me; I have chosen to do what works best for me, both physically and emotionally, when it comes to supporting her. After a lot of time and critical (in a good way) thinking and self-evaluation about how I relate to my mom, I finally chose to make conscious efforts to control my reaction to some of her comments based on the realization that her thoughts, opinions and concerns are not the same as mine.

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