My daughter doesn’t have NPD (for awhile I thought she did) but she does have BPD and PTSD like I do and some narcissistic traits (what 22 year old doesn’t, though?)    In general her behavior’s gotten a lot better the past two years,  but I just got off the phone with her and think she gaslighted me.

I had called her this morning to make sure she got home from work safely last night (because the roads are very icy due to all the snow we had, which is now mostly melted).   She just called me back but was in the middle of having a conversation with a friend at the same time.   I don’t care for phones, and I HATE when someone is talking to someone else instead of talking to me if they’re on the phone with me.   It’s incredibly rude.  She kept saying “Wait, Mom,” while she was listening to her friend tell her a joke.  I sighed impatiently and told her I thought she was being rude.  Instead of apologizing or stopping to give her attention to me, she said to her friend, “My mother doesn’t know how to talk on the phone,” which is sort of true because I’ve always hated phones and am awkward on them, but in this case, she was just wrong and I told her so.   Sarcastically she said, “FINE, Mom,” at which point I thanked her for letting me know she was okay but that I had nothing else to say until she was ready to stop conversing with her friend.  I told her I was hanging up and I hung up.    UGH, I’m annoyed at her right now.   She mostly does that when she’s with her friends.  I guess she thinks it makes her look cool. 🙄