One of the things we borderlines need to learn is to pick our battles. Not everything is worth fighting over or getting upset about. Sometimes it’s best to just accept someone else is not going to agree with you or do things your way, and we can agree to disagree. I’ve gotten pretty good at that. I didn’t used to be. I’d rather have harmonious relationships than always be “right.” It’s not important that I’m always right or always win.

So what if your adult daughter wants to get a lip piercing or your husband always leaves the toothpaste cap off. So what if your best friend likes a different presidential candidate than you do. You can tell your adult daughter you would prefer she doesn’t get the piercing, or remind your husband to put the cap back on, or tell your friend (nicely) you disagree with her choice in candidates, but after that let it go. Don’t keep harping on it. Do these things really matter? Are they worth the emotional investment of fighting over? Ask yourself those things before “going off” on them.

I’m not encouraging you to let people walk all over you. If someone is abusing you, you need to get away from them because they are not going to stop by you telling them to stop. There are situations where it’s worth standing up for yourself and your loved ones and fighting for your rights. If someone is violating your rights or abusing or bullying you or someone you love, then you should definitely make a stand or take appropriate action. But in most cases when people merely disagree, that’s all it is–a disagreement. Sometimes it’s best to “turn the other cheek” (after sharing your own opinion if you want to) if you want harmonious relationships and the behavior or actions you find offensive are more a matter of annoyance to you than anything truly serious. Choose your battles, unless you want your life to become a battlefield.