Drifting.

love-yourself-cloud-nine
Credit: unknown.

Today I did nothing at all, and I didn’t even feel guilty about it.

I slept on and off all day, drifting in and out of dreams. Even awake I felt pleasantly sleepy,  almost as if drugged, floating languorously on the lingering fragments and eddies of dissolved dreams.  In between bouts of light sleep, I browsed the web, colored a little, and nibbled on leftovers and dark chocolate.

Finally I’d drift back into sleep, trying to chase some faded dream from earlier, but another dream would fall into its place, distracting me from whatever I’d been seeking to recapture.

I never even left my house.

Days like this remind me of my younger years, when I would sleep on and off all day after a night spent engaged in frenetic activity, never worrying that such a reversal might be wrong or somehow immoral.

Maybe it’s the cold medicine I’ve been taking making me feel so gloriously sleepy.

I feel like my body and mind is in some healing process, and this do-nothing day actually was anything but that.  I feel like there was some profound purpose for it; some hard work was going on inside my soul, forcing my mind and body to rest.

Advertisements

About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Drifting.

  1. My day was a lot like that, too. Only without the cold medicine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rubycommenting says:

    It all sounds so relaxing. I wouldnt mind having a day like that:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have every right to rest and heal if you need to. Don’t let anyone tell you not to.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.