My online friends.

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goodfriends

While I wouldn’t wish narcissistic abuse from either families of origin or ex-lovers or spouses on anyone,  I’m grateful there are others besides me who have experienced it and that we have found each other.   If it weren’t for the Internet, that never would have been possible, and I’d still be reeling from the abuse all alone and wondering why no one else in the world could relate to my pain.   Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without my little community of ACON bloggers and readers who have suffered this type of trauma.  Very few people you meet in daily life get it.   It’s also not something you can just tell people about.  The anonymity of the Internet helps give us the courage to speak up.

It makes me sad to hear your stories, but at the same time, it’s great to be part of a found online family that is so supportive of one another and give each other virtual hugs and hope.

I’m very grateful to each and every one of you.  Thank you for being my friend and a friend to one other.

 

11 thoughts on “My online friends.”

  1. Oh my gosh. You have an amazing ability to take the jumbled, tangled mass of emotions that I carry around inside me, and put them into words that make perfect sense. That’s why I love reading your blog so much. 🙂

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  2. Amen to your words Lucky Otter. I feel that way too. The Internet itself was what allowed me to find me and put a name to it. It happened like this. I knew I had had an N bf years ago, yet I was broken hearted, so I began reading about N’s but in those articles I would also see the word borderline. Now I used to work in the psychiatric setting and some of the pt population were borderlines. But once I really began reading about it, I realized I was one myself. And I would bring what I studied online to my therapy sessions and it would add to our discussion and then it would be applied to my life. And then yes, soon after that, I came across blogs such as yours and it’s a truly wonderful thing for people like us. You know what I’d like to know? The percentage of BPD’ers in the US as well as the world. Just to get an idea of what percentage we are.

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  4. Thank you Lucky Otter, redemption is my favorite word and you model it. Taking the evil, darkness and suffering that the narcissists create in the world and saying “this is wrong” this is what narcissism looks like, how it operates, what it says and thinks, is absolute liberation for a lot of people held prisoner by memories of unexplained mental torture from narcs. Its especially important because Narcs are so skilled at hiding the truth about what is really going on and keep their victims desperate and confused for years.

    I’ve found great help here. Truth frees. My story was so incredible that people that didn’t grow up in the shit hole of narcissistic terrorists can’t believe it. “No one’s mother would do that” (you are therefore crazy or lying) is very diminishing after barely surviving my childhood. Then, after being preprogrammed to accept narcissistic abuse as the way it is, getting married to one because its familiar results in being labeled crazy too.
    Something is WRONG with YOU to marry a batterer when in fact, sometimes people are just unlucky. Looking for the pathology of the victim is in my mind just another way of making them the scapegoat for someone else’s evil. Men are often raised to be entitled and exploitive, at least the men I knew and the religion I came from.

    Rather than own that our culture needs to do a better job at raising boys to be fully developed human beings and not entitled little tyrants, women get blamed for not making their marriage work. Off track there.. I just wanted to say, I consider this web site a healing place where my tragic past is believed and the fact I survived it and am growing stronger is supported, honored and encouraged by seeing others with a similar experience

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    • I’d say more, but I just woke up and haven;t finished my coffee. These are wonderful words to start my day with though. They mean a lot. I agree with you about our culture needing to raise boys to embrace their humanness and emotional, nurturing side. It can be done!

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  5. Aw man Otter, my eyes are leaking now.
    I feel the same. I was just talking about this in therapy last week, telling him that I join in conversation on various blogs and actually having yours in mind for the most part while I was talking about it.

    It came up because my therapist would like me to find a group of people irl to socialize with that coincides with an interest of mine.

    I’m a rather social person and this self-isolation is a new phenom for me as a result of the C-PTSD symptoms having been triggered in recent years, so I’ve wanted that group of people irl myself.

    I appreciate that you took this blogging thing and really ran with it. I’ve related a lot to your blog, even when you post stuff that isn’t about narcissism and other pathologies.

    Your post about hair and your hair cut, isn’t the first thing you posted in such a strange and timely fashion. I’ve read lots of your stuff where you wrote on a topic just as it had been occurring to me as well. Very serendipitous. ❤

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    • Aww, I’m so touched you thought of this blog when you were talking to your therapist. I’d love to give you a big hug right now.
      I find that a topic as dark and heavy as narcissism is easy to burn out on if I don’t break it up with other, lighter topics. Sometimes I even need to take breaks from it — during the fall and early winter I barely posted about it at all, feeling like I had nothing more to say on the matter (there’s plenty to say,I was just burning out on it). Most people are always willing to read about different things, and I’m interested in many things, so there you go!
      I like your blog a lot too.

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      • Hey, I’m just seeing this now. I don’t always get notifications on the replies in WP and I don’t really check my email attached to this account. So sorry for the late acknowledgement.

        Hug received and hugs back. 🙂

        I know what you mean about burning out on the topic of narcissism. I can’t read about it a whole lot these days to be honest, unless there’s some form of a solution attached to what I’m reading as well. (Like healing in some way from the abuse.)

        Surprised at your comment about my blog. Lol…I’ve been procrastinating so much on it, even though I have so much to say. I know it’s about perfectionism and wanting to be sure what direction I’m going in, but I know that’s ridiculous and I really do need to start posting on the regular.

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          • Ya know, I feel like posting a lot but then I don’t because that perfectionism thing gets in my way.

            I guess I need to talk to my therapist about it. See what’s under that problem.

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  6. I don’t really do any social media, except for WordPress – the community here is great and I can see why it is easy to find so many positive and nurturing friendships. I am glad to hear that you have found quite a few and benefited from their contact, as I know they have benefited from knowing you!

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