I hate to shop.

shopping-pizza

Women are always stereotyped as shopaholics, and in fact it’s true.   Most other women I know would love nothing more than to spend an entire day shopping.   Not me, though.  I’d rather be broken down on the road waiting for the tow truck.   Never mind the fact I rarely have enough money to buy much anyway, I just hate everything about it.   I hate the crowds, I hate waiting on line for a dressing room, I hate waiting on line to pay, I hate some officious individual asking, “Can I help you?” when all I’m doing is LOOKING (do I look like a thief to you?).  I also hate the lack of clocks or windows in large stores (I guess they want you to forget what time it is so you stay longer and browse more, just like in casinos).

Clothing shopping is the worst.   I have no patience for it at all.    I have a pear shaped body and it’s always so hard to find anything that fits right or looks good on me.  The mirrors in dressing rooms are always brightly lit with unflattering fluorescent lights, which doesn’t make any sense to me–don’t they want you to look good so you’ll buy their items?  Maybe they do that so you’ll keep trying more things on and never leave the store.  Like you’re in Hotel California or something.

Whenever I need to buy an item of clothing, I always know exactly what I’m looking for, go in, find it, pay for it, and hightail it outta there.   I shop like a man.   I don’t like to spend hours and hours “browsing” and trying things on just to see how I look in them.    That’s why I always shop alone.   I can’t stand waiting around while other people with me just HAVE to try on that cute this or adorable that, and then they have to keep asking you how they look.  I can think of nothing more boring.  I’d rather be waiting on line at the DMV (okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but it’s almost that bad!)    If I MUST shop with another person, I’d rather it be a man because the stereotype about women is mostly true.   For me shopping isn’t therapy–it’s something I need therapy to recover from!

shopping

The advent of the Internet has pretty much solved that problem.   Now I just order everything I need online and don’t have to bother with the stores at all.

Bookstores are something entirely different.   I could (and I have) spend an entire day browsing in a bookstore, reading everything I can get my hands on.   My idea of heaven is a celestial Barnes and Noble bookstore, with an attached Starbucks, of course.  The only problem with bookstore browsing is that you’re actually consuming their products with no intention of paying for them.  Standing (or sometimes sitting down!) in an aisle reading a book is akin to eating food in the grocery store and not intending to pay for it.  Eventually, you start getting looks from management and at that point you know it’s buy or get out.   Since I usually don’t have enough cash to buy all the books I want (and it’s always a lot of books), the library serves my needs just fine.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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68 Responses to I hate to shop.

  1. Wow, my wife hates food shopping but will always drag me round all the clothes shops with her. Just the opposite of you she loves clothes shopping, but (for the same reason as you) will only take me as I won’t try on anything in the shop and ask her how it looks on me. Not that I don’t think I’d look good in a dress/skirt and blouse but I don’t really have big enough moobs to get away with it 😀 anywho just wanted to let you know I enjoyed your post and wanted to give you a laugh so you don’t think it was wasted on everyone 🙂 peace and love always Otter xoxo

    Liked by 3 people

  2. !!!!!!!!!!

    I could have written this post!! Every single word is ME, except for one thing: I WISH I had a pear shaped body. But instead, I am a woman with a football player shaped body. Too tall, arms too long, and legs too long for regular women’s clothes, so I have to pay extra for talls or else buy men’s shirts and jeans, which is what I usually do. I have NO HIPS. I have NO WAIST. I have broad shoulders and I have a broad back. Just like a football player!!

    I love Barnes and Noble too, but there isn’t one around here. So I very happily shop online for most of our stuff. My hubby, who loves shopping the way most women do, does the grocery and Wal-Mart and Dollar Tree type shopping, while I stay happily at home or else wait in the car. Thank goodness for my husband!! During the year he was wheelchair bound, it was torture for both of us, for so many reasons. Thank the Lord for answering my prayers and getting him back on his feet!

    Yesterday I went to the Dollar Tree and to Wal-Mart with my stepdaughter because she begged me to go with her. I hated every minute of it!!!!! I kept thinking, “I am just not normal. What in the F is wrong with me??” Oh, I was so happy when we finally left the stores and came home!!

    I have been down on myself ever since last night, wondering what in the heck my problem with shopping is. I mean, with the exception of the times when my husband could not walk at all and had to get around in a powerchair, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I have gone out shopping since I married him in 2004! We moved to this area six years ago… and I have never yet stepped foot inside the local mall!!

    Thank you for posting this. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      But a football player’s body is the kind of body models have–tall and clothes always hang right on you. Stand tall and be proud! I think you’re beautiful.
      Me…I have those childbearin’ hips lol! That’s what men used to say to me anyway. I used to be self conscious about my big backside and hips, especially since my mother always told me I was too fat. I’m not flat on top though–I guess it’s more of an hourglass figure but I’m definitely bigger on bottom.

      Liked by 2 people

      • It’s funny how we women want what we don’t have. I just want a butt, dang it. If I could, I would get silicon butt implants, lol. Years ago I bought a pair of those mail order girdle panties with padded cheeks. Mistake! The padding was all lumpy and just on one small part of each hip, making me look like I had two tumors growing on my backside, lol.

        Liked by 2 people

        • luckyotter says:

          Oh honey, you can have mine! Figure out a way to shave off a few inches of your height and I’ll shave off an inch or so off my butt and we can trade!

          Liked by 3 people

        • ibikenyc says:

          Well, thanks for saving me from THAT expenditure!

          About myself I say, “Baby got front!”

          Liked by 2 people

          • Lol!

            About the “front” — I guess I’m ok there, too. But would you believe that one of the things my momster complained to me about in one of her long hate letters that she sent me years ago, was about me having such “great big boobs.” As if I grew them on purpose just to make her feel bad about her smaller ones?!? If I had ever gone around flaunting them, I could understand her complaining. But cleavage is something I was too embarrassed to show, then and now.

            Especially now. I got wrinkles there now. Sigh.

            Anyway, we come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. And we are all infinitely precious in God’s eyes.

            Liked by 3 people

            • ibikenyc says:

              Unfortunately, I do believe you. I used to get, “You’ll grow so tall, you’ll be a FREAK!” from my grandmother.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh no…. that hurts my heart to think of anyone, especially a grandmother, saying that to a child. My mother was, and still is, that cruel, and my grandmother was almost as cruel. But I never got used to senseless cruelty, it still makes me cringe just thinking about it.

              I have a gorgeous granddaughter who is probably over 6′ tall. She is super awesome. I would want to punch the lights out on anyone who would dare to call her a freak. How on earth could any grandmother say that to her grandchild?

              Liked by 2 people

            • ibikenyc says:

              Thank you for your kind words.

              I realized a few years ago that it must have been ALL projection on her part. She, too, was tall, although “only” about five-six or seven. I think especially in her youth (she was born in 1905), tininess was equated with femininity. Her own mother was, by all accounts, sadistically-abusive of her; God knows what fetid pearls of tarnished wisdom came out of that mouth.

              I was in at least my late forties before I even learned that tallness is thought of as attractive and desirable, even in women, and I still don’t actually OWN that. Especially with men, when I’m the tallest person around, I feel Enormous. Hulking. HUGE.

              Very unfeminine.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I wonder if you would feel that way if your grandmother hadn’t said such a horrible mean thing to you?

              It probably was projection on her part. Jealousy, too. Mean people seem to think that the way to build themselves up is by tearing others down, especially those who have what they wish they had.

              Liked by 1 person

            • ibikenyc says:

              Gee. I’d never thought about it, but I will now. Maybe not.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              What a horrible thing to say!

              Liked by 2 people

    • ibikenyc says:

      Sounds like you and I are built a lot alike!

      I hear you about the too-short stuff. I love how some clothing websites list the model’s height; that always helps me decide if the sleeves are long enough. My arms and legs are also maybe disproportionately-long: In men’s shirts I need a 34 or 35 sleeve, and I take at least a 34 inseam.

      I also have a hard time with jackets: If it fits my shoulders, it is BILLOWING around my waist and hips.

      Liked by 2 people

      • luckyotter says:

        They list the model’s height in online ads? I guess I don’t do enough online clothes shopping to notice. Sounds like you have a tiny waist! That’s good though, isn;t it?

        Like

        • ibikenyc says:

          Some sites do; I believe Zappo’s does, and all of what used to be called “fine stores everywhere,” like Saks and Neiman’s, and also I’m pretty sure the activewear places, like North Face and Under Armour.

          I am 36-37 / 28-29 / 34-35, so no!

          I can’t wear regular jeans, for example; I need a low rise, and the lower the better. Regular-rise pants that fit my hips have 24 to 26-inch waists.

          Liked by 1 person

      • Yup, it sounds like we came out of the same mold. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I find I’ve adjusted as my income changes. When I had it, I shopped and shopped a lot. I mean, I would go to malls and visit ones in other counties of the state. I shopped from morning till night just trying on clothes. I would lose weight on the days I went to the mall. That much activity and no breaks to eat! Now that my income is much more modest I just want the clothes I need to look presentable and I do more engaging with people, you know conversation and getting together which really is more rewarding. What was I doing back then with all of those clothes? I swear the women at work were in a silent competition with each other. Like a fashion show or something! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      I think your point about money is well, on the money! It’s definitely nicer to shop (and I enjoy it more) when I actually have money to spend. I still doubt it would ever be my favorite thing to do, but I’m sure I’d like it a lot more.

      Like

  4. Susan says:

    95% of my shopping,even for clothing is online and I love it and I save money too even including shipping! yayay. I have anxiety in the mall…. so loud.. and so many people.. I get depressed too..with all that noise.. it reminds me of my lonely teen years in the school cafeteria with everyone talking at once but it sounded like being attacked by bees! like a swarm of bees humming..and you couldn’t hear what anyone was saying.. it was just an unpleasant noise. I love to shop online though its fun! like for rocks! you got your rocks online right? I don’t even like to go to my lobby attendant to get my packages though when they arrive… but I live in a building like that..packages will not come to my door.. I have to go and sign for them….

    Like

  5. I am also not a fan of shopping. It exhausts me and I think it’s because of all the dead air in most stores. I hate crowds so when I grocery shop I prefer to do it when it’s not crowded. I don’t mind food shopping…once I’m done. Lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Susan says:

      yes I like food shopping., im a foodie, im kind of excited about food and I always get something new to try each time. its like I cant wait to get home and eat. I suppose itd be a chore when you have kids and a hubby to feed…..food is totally exciting to me, im like a kid in the candy store..so many options! I gained weight with that excitement and I am now losing weight with that SAME excitement and attitude! even my diet is exciting and yummy…the fact that I can eat the same if not more in volume and taste by swapping this and that… from say 3000 calories a day to just 1200-1400 with my plate fuller.. and more exciting too… I love that!

      Liked by 3 people

      • Awesome. I can read your excitement. I’ve been trying to figure out what I should be eating lately because of some health issues so I’ve been a bit discouraged lately with the grocery shopping. I’m hoping to turn that around tonight.

        I love food and recipe blogs and videos, esp. Youtube vids.

        Liked by 1 person

      • luckyotter says:

        I much prefer food shopping to clothes shopping. Food shopping really doesn’t bother me too much– especially when I’m hungry!

        Liked by 2 people

        • Food shopping can be fun, if I do it when the stores aren’t crowded; I can’t stand crowds or long lines at the checkout, or not being able to find a parking space. Also, it has to be a place where I know my way around and I can just go right for the things on my list, rather than go traipsing up and down every single aisle in the joint, searching for something or other, which is a ridiculous waste of time.

          Shopping for clothes is never fun; it’s just exhausting and depressing. I do almost all of it online, and listen to either soothing music or something funny and entertaining while I’m doing it, to keep from losing what remains of my sanity. 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          • luckyotter says:

            I HATE trying to find an item in a food store I’ve never been in. 😡

            Liked by 2 people

            • I was doing that last night. There were several items I couldn’t find and then I couldn’t find anyone to ask. I was so annoyed.

              Like

            • Susan says:

              me too. especially when it makes NO sense! diapers next to mustard or something. then I want to complain to the manager too for the layout but I never do. All that walking back and forth up and down isles…even after many years I am still highly annoyed that the pasta and jarred spaghetti sauces are in a separate isle from all the canned tomato pastes…..

              Liked by 2 people

            • ibikenyc says:

              I understand perfectly well why men WILL NOT ask for directions; that same dynamic will have me walking for ridiculously-vast amounts of time in strange supermarkets searching for things that have, at times, turned out to be LITERALLY not carried by them!

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Isn’t it so infuriating when that happens?

              Like

        • Food shopping while I’m hungry is usually disastrous. lol.

          Liked by 2 people

  6. Yeah I’m not much of a shopholic, but if I had the money I’d probably buy one of everything in the art supply store. Everything in there gets me excited, everything has so much possibilities and it’s all unmarked yet

    Liked by 3 people

  7. ibikenyc says:

    I used to love it, like when I was in my teens and twenties.

    Now, to quote from “Terms of Endearment,” I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.

    I hate MOST OF ALL the undress, dress; undress, dress; undress, dress of trying on clothes, ESPECIALLY in the winter, when I have to remove several layers AND both shoes and socks first.

    I wish I could walk in and say, “I need a black thus-and-such in size whatever; do you have it?”

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      That’s exactly the way I feel!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh! I’m exhausted just reading that…”Dress undress, dress, undress….” I’ve always hated that. And then if I wear shoes I have to tie, makes it even worse.

      Liked by 2 people

      • ibikenyc says:

        In the summer, with capri leggings (which on me usually come to just above the knee, a length which is really easy to get in and out of!) and flip-flops, it is tolerable.

        Another thing that helps, a LOT, is shopping in places where there is no fitting-room gestapo and no limit on how many garments you can take in at a time.

        Back when I was squandering my inheritance, I regularly shopped at a place with fitting rooms the size of a NYC studio apartment that provided not just huge, full-length tri-fold mirrors on semicircular platforms but also a person who would go back and forth endlessly bringing ANYthing in ANY size, which meant no getting dressed and undressed and dressed and undressed and dressed!

        They also had a seamstress right there who would pop in with a tape measure around her neck, pins in her mouth, and a big stash of shoulder pads under her arm (this was The Eighties), and by the time you left, your clothes looked like they’d been made just for you!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ok yeah, that could be a fun shopping spee. All that pampering would probably make it much less exhausting. And if there was a couch or something to take periodic rests, that would be a plus too. I really have to do something about this adrenal fatigue. I went food shopping last night and I’m still exhausted. Ugh.

          From your comment, it sounds like your hair is down to your calves? Sorry if you said previously, I must have missed it.

          Liked by 2 people

          • ibikenyc says:

            My understanding is that adrenal fatigue is VERY “compelling;” you have my sympathy. I am menopausal and have had episodes of what is called “Crashing Fatigue” from that. It’s GALLING that all of a sudden what you get to do is NOT up to you!

            Oh, yeah; that place (called “Jeanne Rafal;” it was right on the east side of Fifth Avenue at about Thirty-Eighth or Ninth Street) was like a real-life version of a Barbie Boutique, in a more sophisticated (but still fun!) color palette. There were actual chaises in those dressing rooms, like with the gilt carved legs and the pink silk upholstery and everything!

            You didn’t miss a thing! It comes to a point in the back, but the bulk of it is just past my shoulder blades.

            Liked by 2 people

      • luckyotter says:

        I got exhausted reading “dress…undress….dress” too. It’s actually PAINFUL for me to keep doing that.

        Like

        • ibikenyc says:

          It was a lovely place to shop, although when I think back on the prices, I feel faint. I wouldn’t spend that much NOW on an outfit like that! (They were SOOOO gorgeous, though!)

          Hard habit to break.

          A horror story for those who loathe window shopping: When we first moved back home, my stepdaughters used to come up and visit, and ALL they wanted to do was “shop” that district on Broadway between 14th and Canal, along with half of the REST of the population of New York.

          Prior to those experiences I really BELIEVED I knew the meaning of having my teeth set on edge.

          I/we were living in Fort Lauderdale in 1995. I missed all the Giuliani years (figures).

          Liked by 1 person

  8. Leslie says:

    I like to food shop because I use coupons and I can make the game out of saving money. Plus it’s really, right now, my only financial contribution right now, buying good food for cheap. But clothes shopping? Hell to the no. Hate it. And window shopping? Even worse. “Look Leslie here’s all the pretty things you are too poor to buy” No thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. hbsuefred says:

    Sorry, but I’m an advocate of “retail therapy.” If I encounter a crowd while indulging, I can pretty much tune that noise out. This activity puts me in “the zone.” It takes me out of myself and out of my own head. Often, I don’t even buy anything. I don’t even try stuff on a lot of the time, as returning often has the same psychological effect. Call me crazy, I guess, but this is a case of “no harm, no foul” to anyone!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Momof2 says:

    “on line for a dressing room, I hate waiting on line to pay,”

    I laughed at this but I knew what you meant. How do you use a dressing room online? How do you wait online to pay lol?

    Liked by 1 person

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