Grandiose and “vulnerable” narcissists: how do they differ?

This got buried for awhile, but I think it’s one of my best posts about narcissism, so here it is again.

Lucky Otters Haven

beggar_king
Both the beggar and the king could be narcissists with a different M.O.

An interesting article in Psychology Today explains the difference between grandiose (invulnerable) narcissists, and “vulnerable” narcissists. Either can be somatic or cerebral, and either can also be malignant or non-malignant.

The two kinds of narcissists can seem very different on the surface:

Grandiose narcissists can seem emotionally cold, convinced of their achievements or success, and rarely if ever talk about their fears or their problems. They can be very quick to judge others though. On the surface they seem strong and tough. You won’t see them show emotions other than rage or pride, and if they are ever sad or fearful, you will never see that side of them. Like all narcissists, they are never happy,but they can “act” happy if they need to. And like all narcissists, they are incapable of love but may be able…

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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3 Responses to Grandiose and “vulnerable” narcissists: how do they differ?

  1. kavyag says:

    My Dad is a Malignant narcissist.He have traits of both overt and covert narcissists.He had limerence for me.I really believed that he loved me but later his mask came out,He disrespected me and my boundaries.Narcs are very convincing in showing that they love their victims.In India Narcissism itself is a culture.Here Malignant narcissists are everywhere,mostly covert type.They seem very normal-One can’t identify them easily.It is very unfortunate that children believe their parents love them.They think out of love only their parents scold and beat them .

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Narcissists are unable to love. They see other people not as people, but as objects that are either useful to them or not. they may fake love to get what they want but it’s never sincere.

      Tell me more about the narcissism culture in India. That’s interesting, but what exactly is that like?

      Liked by 1 person

      • kavyag says:

        In India people lack empathy.Most Parents in olden days used to pressure their children to become either doctor or engineer.If their children choose other fields then they are considered useless.If children don’t behave well or don’t get good grades then parents beat them brutally with belt,cable wire,drum stick and what not.In the name of love and discipline they do such brutal beating.And the worst thing is parents don’t admit.They blame their children and say “If you behaved well and got good grades then we didn’t have to beat you”.Some parents even say they had financial problems that’s why they had to hit their children.And children grow up to believe it’s their fault not their parents.Their parents abused them for their own good only.If someone rebels then they are considered bad children.Siblings are compared to each other.People are always image conscious of what society will think of them.Parents don’t respect their children boundaries and just imagine all these behaviour is considered normal.

        Good parents are also there but I never came across a loving Mother’s.I came across loving Father’s.

        In India children are not raised to be independent and not taught to love themselves-90% of Indians suffer from low self esteem.Everything parents only choose-from education to spouse.If their children want to do intercaste or interreligious marriage,parents don’t approve it because they fear their reputation will go away.

        Mother’s are considered Goddesses.According to Indian culture bad children can exist but bad mothers can never exist.Mother’s mock their children,taunt their children but still it is considered normal.I see insensitive Mother’s everywhere.

        Things are changing as generations are passing.I am just tired of these people.I just wish to get married and settle in USA.

        Liked by 1 person

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