I forgot about this old article I wrote in June 2015, but I’d like to put these thoughts out there again for others to think about.
There seem to be three different kinds of people in the world. Those who are fake-positive, always wearing a plastered on smile and never admitting to failure or to their true emotions; those who walk around wearing their misery like a badge of honor; and everyone else.
Before I became active in the narcissistic abuse community, I really only met the first type of person and the third. I’m all too well acquainted with “positive thinking nazis” — you know, fake and shallow people who don’t want to acknowledge your pain and tell you to “get over it” or “you bring your misery on yourself with your negativity.” These people are often–but not always–narcissists (but even when they aren’t, they are all neurotypicals.) They are good at social skills and making a good impression at all times, and that means they are always smiling. They cannot and will not understand…
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I just read the original and was nonplussed when I read you call these fake-happy-narcs “neurotypical.” But I see this was written when you were identifying as an aspie. So they are NTs as opposed to autistic. I usually think of NTs as not being psychopathic. LOL!
One thing that infuriates me is those men who say “SMILE!” It usually sounds like a command instead of encouragement to feel better. You’re right that this only seems to come from men. Yet there are some women who seem to be coming from the same place without actually barking, “SMILE.” They let us know how we should really look at the sunny side of life all the time. We call them “positive-positive.”
I had a friend who was one of those wearing-sadness-like-a-badge types. I had her over for Thanksgiving. She was vegan at the time so she brought some tofu for herself which she steamed. She didn’t even saute it. I have a picture of us and her face looked so miserable. As another friend who was there that day said, she probably thought the rest of us were damned fools.
Yes, I like that quote about there being a season for everything.
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