The ultimate dissociative experience.

Death is an uncomfortable subject for most of us, but at some point, we are all going to have to come to terms with it. Here’s a post I wrote a while back describing what that process is like for me.

Lucky Otters Haven

thanatophobia2

Death isn’t something I like to think about, much less write about.  In fact, it’s my biggest fear (outside of the death of one of my children).  Oh, I know all the pat arguments and rationalizations that it’s not so bad–death is a part of life, death is nothing to be afraid of, if you’re a good Christian you will go to Heaven and there will be no fear, nothing at all will happen so there will be no fear, even the idea that death is beautiful.

I woke this morning, as I often do, thinking about how much I fear my own death.  I think this is a little obsessive-compulsiveness on my part, and probably something I should talk about more in therapy.   The mental health field has a name for the irrational or excessive fear of death: thanatophobia.    So far I’ve only talked to God…

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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4 Responses to The ultimate dissociative experience.

  1. bobcabkings says:

    This is one subject i haven’t tried to write about. I’m glad you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m right there with you. I’ve been feeling terrified about the prospect lately, even though–at 44, with a grandmother who lived to her 90s and a great-grandmother to about 105–I could still have several decades left. Or I could have several days left. Who knows? And while it already bugged me, the death of my father last year made it worse.

    The thought of blinking out of existence is actually the most terrifying for me. I’ve written about it several times; I even have a category “fear of death”: https://nyssashobbithole.com/wordpress/category/fear-of-death/

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nowve666 says:

    Don’t feel badly about your doubts. They are rational. I’m glad I’m not a Christian. I don’t believe in a lake of fire. I think the scariest thing is death of ego. But look at ego as a limiting thing. This little bit of body and consciousness is me and everything else not-me. Without the ego, the entire universe can be me. You mentioned acid. Acid trips can really help prepare us for ego death.

    Liked by 1 person

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