My worst nightmare.

I’m a natural worrywart.   A few days ago, when Irma was still out in the middle of the Atlantic and Harvey was still the #1 topic, I wrote a post about being worried that Irma might hit my son, who lives in the Tampa Bay area.   My rational mind told me I was probably just catastrophizing, because I tend to do that.  I mean, what were the chances the eyewall of this storm, would actually go right over him?  It really didn’t seem all that likely.

But I couldn’t shake the bad feeling I had.   I have good intuition, but my intuition tends to get mixed up with my tendency to catastrophize everything, and it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference.  As a result, my intuition doesn’t always work very well, since I get “bad vibes” even about things that pose no danger.

This time, my intuition was accurate.   As the days passed since I wrote that post,  Irma appears to be doing exactly what I prayed it wouldn’t do.   Like a sadistic narcissist, this bitch has been teasing me and giving false hope — she moved to the east for awhile and looked like she was going to head up the Atlantic, sparing the Tampa area from the worst of the storm.   I was able to relax a bit and laugh at myself for having been so worried.

But yesterday she shifted back to the west.  Unless a miracle happens, she will be skirting up the western coast of Florida, with the eyewall passing directly over my son’s area.  It won’t have weakened too much by the time the worst of it hits late Sunday night or early Monday morning — at best it might be a category 3 hurricane, which is still pretty bad.

My son is in some ways his father’s son.   He lacks his dad’s narcissism and lack of empathy or conscience, but he definitely has his stubborness.    I’ve been begging him to evacuate and drive up here until the danger passes.   He said he didn’t have gas money.  I told him not to worry about money and that I would provide anything he would need, but his answer was no.  He’s determined to stay and ride this thing out.  Now it’s too late for him to evacuate even if he decided to finally do so (which I know he won’t).   The roads going north are bumper to bumper and there is no gas to be had.

I think there is another reason for his decision to stay besides his stubborness.   Since he was a small boy, he’s always been fascinated by storms.   When he was in his early teens, he flirted with the idea of being a tornado chaser.  He used to watch all those Weather Channel shows about brave men and women who put themselves in the paths of dangerous tornadoes just for the adrenaline rush and to take videos of them for the rest of us more faint-hearted people to marvel at.

So I think he sees this as the opportunity of a lifetime, an adventure like no other, a dream come true for any fan of severe weather who is a bit of an adrenaline junkie too.  He wants to have a story to tell, a story that few others will be able to tell.   It’s like being a fighter pilot in World War II and or having climbed Mount Everest.   “I was in Hurricane Irma back in ’17,” is something that will definitely get people’s attention.

My son is not going into this blind.   He has been tracking this storm, paying attention to the warnings and evacuation orders, has gotten all the supplies he needs, and has chosen to leave his apartment (which is in the storm surge zone) and go slightly inland to a sturdy one story brick home where he will be riding Irma out with about 9 of his friends (it’s still in Tampa though).   They are well prepared and he tells me they are not in an area prone to storm surge or flooding.

But this hurricane is a beast, and who knows what havoc she will bring?  Irma is unpredictable, and not like any other hurricane.  Even if my son and his friends are safe from storm surge, they are not safe from the furious winds, which will be around 100-112 mph as the eyewall passes over them.   More than anything, I am glad he is not alone.  But I’m still terrified for him.

Please keep my son and his friends in your prayers.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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14 Responses to My worst nightmare.

  1. bobcabkings says:

    I would be terrified too. He and everyone else still in the path will stay in my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bobcabkings says:

    Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
    LuckyOtter updates her concerns for her son in Irma’s path.

    Like

  3. Suze says:

    I have extended family and friends in the Tampa area, so I am right with you on the fear aspect. I know, as I have spoken with them, that they are in a “higher ground” area, and though frightened, feel they are well prepared. Will keep your son in my prayers as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nowve666 says:

    I can relate. I kind of envy him. If he’s in a sturdy brick house, he’ll probably be ok. You know the story of the three pigs, “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down,” said the wolf. But he couldn’t blow down the brick house.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I went to the aftermath of Hurricane Charlie, which hit south of Fort Myers. My mother in law was riding out the storm with everyone else who had gotten use to hurricane season. Well, a tornado hit her street-she had to take cover at a neighbor’s house, and broke her hip in the process. After the storm, we couldn’t find her! Hospitals had been hit-patients moved all around the state. Her house was ruined with wind and water damage. She was never able to go back- it took at least a year to have the house gutted and rebuilt. I pray that your son remains safe, and that he will be a blessing to others in the aftermath. After Charlie, the beautiful town where I had raised my kids, looked like a war zone. It was very sad….

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      He will be about 10 miles inland, but it’s very possible his apartment could be completely flooded out from storm surge. 😦 He brought everything he cares about with him, including his little dog. His (and his dog’s) life is more important than his apartment. Still hoping for the best. His apt. is on the second floor so it might be ok.

      Like

      • True! After Charlie, I saw the water damage from not only flooding, but by roofs coming apart in the wind, windows broken, and water getting into homes that way. It will be a life altering experience for your son, seeing the aftermath. Prayers with him🙏🏼

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          I just saw a video of the house where he is staying and feel a *little* better — it looks pretty solid, and he is with 8 or 9 people. They are well stocked. I’m still scared but not as much. It will definitely be a life changing experience for all of them.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. darkphoenix74 says:

    As a mother of a young son myself I can just imagine the turmoil you’re feeling right now. Hang in there. There is every chance he will be ok xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Alice says:

    Praying for your son, and everyone in the path of Irma.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have been praying for friends and relatives in Florida. I will add your son to my prayers. And you, my friend – may you find peace while you wait to hear that your son is safe and sound.
    xx,
    mgh

    Liked by 1 person

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