When people tell you to respect your family…



7 thoughts on “When people tell you to respect your family…

  1. I absolutely hate when people say things like that. Mother’s day is one of those days when I simply have to turn off the television and the internet as they are full of saccharine messages to “mother”…that “wonderful woman” who gave up so much for her children. Yea, sure. Mine was a heartless bi\tch that took great pleasure in abusing her daughters and holding her sons up as semi-gods. She could be the world’s nicest person to the neighbors and to strangers, and cruel beyond measure to us at home. everything we did or said was a reflection of and on her and she told us so each and every day.

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    • I can relate, especially on Mothers Day.
      I still send my mother cards, but it’s so hard to find one that isn’t all saccharine and talks about all the unconditional love and sacrifices made for me. I try to find cards that are impersonal and just say “Have a Great Mothers Day” or birthday or whatever, but it’s so hard. I can’t bring myself to send a sappy, sentimental card that would be essentially a lie. It makes me sad, but that’s how it is for me.


  2. Pingback: Religion is Gaslighting | CLUSTER B

  3. This post made me think of this exchange from Jane Eyre. Jane has just attacked – deservedly – one of her cousins who was bullying her, and he ran crying to his mother, and this follows.

    “‘Don’t talk to me about her, John; I told you not to go near her; she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters should associate with her.’

    Here, leaning over the banister, I [Jane] cried out suddenly, and without at all deliberating on my words–

    ‘They are not fit to associate with me.'”

    It also made me think, sad to say, of my own relatives – not my immediate family, whom I love dearly, but my parents’ families, especially my mom’s. My maternal grandmother is, we’re pretty sure, a narcissist (though somewhat low on the spectrum, we think), and growing up my mom was always the scapegoat child. It got worse after she married my dad and changed her religion to one they did *not* approve of (actually, they’re not very religious at all), and they’ve ranged from cold to outright cruel to her ever since. It makes me sad, and angry, to think that I can’t have that grandparent/granddaughter relationship, or uncle-aunt/niece relationship, but how about them trying to have a relationship with me and my family? I’m sorry, but I can’t be friends with someone if they don’t like my parents and don’t respect my religion or the choices we’ve made with our lives, and I don’t care if we’re blood-related!

    Phew. I got mad there, lol. Anyway, thanks for sharing this, because it does make me mad whenever I see those “respect your family” posts. I don’t give *anyone* respect until I see it’s earned, I don’t care who they are.

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