Dear Father…

dear_father_____by_tamingthetiger-d3iyrad
“Dear Father” by Taming the Tiger

I usually shy away from anything too spiritual or religious, because I do realize many of my readers are atheist, agnostic, or of differing faiths–and I respect their right to believe as they wish.   But today in church when the priest asked us to “add our own prayers,” I felt inspired to pray a particular prayer that has great meaning to me, for a myriad of reasons.   I would like to share it here, so maybe others can join me in prayer for these things that are so important to me.

*****

Dear Father,

You have created us all in your own image. I don’t believe you have left anyone out of your great bounty and the hope for eternal life, in spite of what some Christians and others believe.      I don’t believe that Christ’s death on the cross was a “limited atonement” meant only for a select few (as Calvinists believe).   I believe he died for us all, and offers all of us the chance for redemption and healing, no matter how hopeless things may seem.

PTSD, C-PTSD, and narcissistic abuse survivors.

God, please shower your grace and compassion on all victims of narcissistic abuse and all people suffering from PTSD and C-PTSD, that they may find comfort in your arms and be able to trust again, realize that there is still goodness in the world, and eventually, that they may find loving, healthy relationships and friendships that do not turn abusive.  Many survivors have turned to you when everyone else seemed to be turning away from them and rejecting them, and found that you were there and were listening.  But many, especially if they were rejected or scapegoated by their own families, are so damaged they have trouble trusting anyone at all, even You.   Please give them the courage to turn to you when things are at their darkest and it seems like they have no allies.  Please help them to trust you, and to heal from abuse, regain their sense of self worth and self-esteem,  and be whole and happy again. Please show them that what happened to them didn’t happen in vain, and that they are so much stronger than they realize because of the adversity they had to face.  Please let them feel the loving arms of Jesus Christ holding and protecting them from harm.  Guide them on the path to become whole again, and to use what they learned to help others heal, should that be your will for them.

Also, although anger is a necessary stage of healing (in order to leave an abusive situation or person), please allow victims who become trapped in their anger and hatred to be able to move on from it, because only then will healing be possible.   I’ve seen too many survivors who remain so mired in rage that they take on the traits of their abusers and acquire a victim mentality that does not allow them to move forward in their journey to healing.

As for myself, please don’t let me stray from the path you have set me on, which is beginning to be revealed to me. Please don’t allow me to become bogged down by envy, selfishness, or pride.   Don’t allow me to let my own will get in the way of what you have planned for me, for whenever I have forced my own will, it always turned out to be all wrong.

People with NPD, BPD and other Cluster B disorders.

God, please show these broken people who have made so many bad choices and act out toward others–usually because as children they were shamed for their own vulnerability by abusive caregivers or parents–that they do not need to rely on primitive defense mechanisms, abusive or aggressive behavior, or a “false self” in order to survive and be happy.   Please show them the beauty of their own inner vulnerability and that being sensitive can be a great strength and is never a weakness.   Please lift the scales from their eyes and show them that the things they have learned to believe about themselves and others are lies–and the truth is the opposite of what they have always believed.  Please remove the fear and shame  keeps them trapped inside cold, dark walls that separate them from their own vulnerability and the light of your grace.   If there’s a glimmer of their original soul left in them, please help that spark grow like a mustard seed within them and burn away the darkness that surrounds it.  Make them aware that their defense mechanisms are only allowing them to live the stunted, painful life of an emotional cripple, and that by jettisoning authentic feeling, they also jettison love, empathy and joy. With fewer people with narcissism and other “predatory” disorders in the world, there will be fewer abuse victims too.

In particular, please make my mother aware of what has happened to her (due to no fault of her own) and what she became, even at her very advanced age.   Even if it’s too late for her to be healed, at least remove the scales from her eyes and allow her the grace of redemption.

Our increasingly narcissistic society. 

Over the past 30 – 40 years, our western society–especially in America–has become increasingly cold, callous, lacking in empathy and compassion, materialistic, hubristic, and narcissistic.   Wealth and power are valued over compassion and love.   Individual achievement is valued over community involvement.   Greed and an “I got mine!” attitude is valued over altruism and compassion for the less fortunate.

Even families buy into this lie to the point of scapegoating family members who fail to “keep up” (or who are vulnerable or attempt to expose the family dysfunction).    Intolerance of those who are different, hatred, and racism abound.   Every day people die because they are the wrong color, wrong religion, or have a lifestyle that the Powers That Be believe is wrong.  Our society is like a huge dysfunctional family, complete with its narcissistic and abusive leaders, its golden children, and its scapegoats.  This should not be the case.  God,  please heal the hatred and fear that permeate our society and keeps people from being neighborly and charitable toward one another.  Please make dysfunctional families whole and healthy again, and give the scapegoats of both society and of dysfunctional families relief from their suffering and pain.  Make “the least of these” realize they are as worthwhile and valuable to you as the powerful ruling class who seems to have every earthly thing.

I ask these things in the name of your son, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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22 Responses to Dear Father…

  1. I join you in your prayer. Brave post.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Thank you for joining! 🙂 I do realize not everyone is a Christian, but I don’t see why the prayer can’t still be said, maybe some people prefer to use the term “universe”…or Higher Power or whatever.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is the age of science – if it can’t be explained, double-blind tested and “proven,” journal-published, replicated, etc., it can’t possibly be true.

        In ANY case, and regardless of what one believes or believes in, thoughts articulated in prayer become goals, and goals can be worked toward.
        xx,
        mgh

        Liked by 1 person

  2. avaswan says:

    Beautiful prayer! I too join your prayer and hope people needing to hear this will come to read your blog today.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nowve666 says:

    That was a really sweet prayer. You seem to be nicer than the God of Christianity, especially Calvinists who have the most twisted theology in the world, as far as I can see. Your big heart can make the God you worship seem real. I wasn’t crazy about being called “broken” or having a glimmer of a soul but I appreciate your intention.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      My God is definitely a different God than theirs. Of course I respect their right to worship as they choose. I like the New Testament God, not so much the Old Testament one. In some of those stories, God seems as bad as the devil — a big jealous narcissistic bully demanding worship or else! I like the story of Job, but not the way God played along with the devil using poor Job as a pawn. Why would anyone have to “prove” their faith anyway, if God knows what’s in their hearts already? Don’t even get me started on Abraham and Isaac. That story is horrifying — even though God saved Isaac in the end. Why would he torture poor Abraham like that just to show his faith? Again, why would he need proof? If God did that to anyone today, and someone went along with it, they’d be declared insane or tossed in prison for life or at least have their child taken away.

      Not that the Old Testament doesn’t have value. I love the Psalms in particular. But I do believe it was written by men reacting to the times they lived in. That’s one reason why I can’t be a fundamentalist, also because I think science is also about the truth and the denial of science in fundamentalist religion makes me sick.

      A really good Christian website that debunks most of the authoritarian, fundamentalist belief systems is Jesuswithoutbaggage. https://jesuswithoutbaggage.wordpress.com/ You should check that one out. It resolved a lot of the doubts I was having about Christianity.
      I also have great respect for Buddhist teachings, although I’m not a Buddhist. The idea of reincarnation and karma just makes a lot of sense to me and I don’t think some of it goes against Christianity either. Maybe reincarnation is what Purgatory is!

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      • Jim says:

        Beautiful prayer. I think being the family scapegoat makes it incredibly different to see God as good and on your side, and to really trust him. But he is good, and you can trust him. Sometimes hard to feel that though.

        CS Lewis explained why God commands worship in a way that made sense to me, here it is FYI:

        “But the most obvious fact about praise — whether of God or anything — strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honour.

        I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless . . . shyness or the fear of boring others is deliberately brought in to check it.

        The world rings with praise — lovers praising their mistresses [Romeo praising Juliet and vice versa], readers their favourite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favourite game — praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars. . . .

        Except where intolerably adverse circumstances interfere, praise almost seems to be inner health made audible. . . . I had not noticed either that just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge us to join them in praising it: “Isn’t she lovely? Wasn’t it glorious? Don’t you think that magnificent?”

        The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about.

        My whole, more general, difficulty about the praise of God depended on my absurdly denying to us, as regards the supremely Valuable, what we delight to do, what indeed we can’t help doing, about everything else we value.”

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          I love C. S. Lewis. Those words of his are beautiful and so true.

          Like

          • Jim says:

            Yeah, me too.

            Disney’s The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe is still my favorite movie of all time, I watch it a few times per year. It’s a fairy tale that I believe is actually true.

            I love it at the end when Aslan crowns Edmund (who was the scapegoat of the family, & could be a real stinker at times & betrayed his family) as “King Edmund the Just”.

            Undeserved complete forgiveness and favor- how great it is that that’s how God actually is, in real life.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. WOW!!!! Lauren, did YOU write this prayer? I thought as I was reading it, that “Taming the Tiger” wrote it. But after reading the entire post, I clicked on the link at the top, and it took me to a page of art creations. So apparently Taming the Tiger created the picture, but you wrote the prayer. Is that correct?

    This is a wonderful prayer. Only a very beautiful soul could have written this astoundingly beautiful prayer!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on A Blog About Healing From PTSD and commented:
    This astoundingly beautiful prayer was written by an incredibly beautiful soul, my friend, Lauren/Lucky Otter. Comments are closed here, please visit the original post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. melisdvash says:

    It’s beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ashualec says:

    Like the Sun the Earth and the Moon, the God is one. So any prayer is a prayer that he listens.

    Liked by 1 person

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