How does malignant narcissism differ from NPD?

demonic

There’s a lot of talk about the narcissistic spectrum — the idea that narcissism runs on a spectrum from “normal” narcissism (healthy self esteem) all the way through malignant narcissism at the top. Somewhere in the middle, “normal” or “healthy” narcissism shades into Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

While I do think narcissism runs on a spectrum, I don’t think “healthy” narcissism has much, if anything, to do with pathological narcissism. Healthy narcissism is what makes us stand up for ourselves when we are being attacked. Healthy narcissism is what makes us feel proud of ourselves when we’ve accomplished something good. Healthy narcissism is what makes us want to look our best when we’re going on a date.

People who are narcissists, on the other hand, have little to no self-esteem. They either hate who they really are, or they don’t know who they really are, so they develop a false self to stand in for their real one. The false self can only survive by feeding off the reactions of others (narcissistic supply). That’s why narcissists can be so manipulative and dangerous. Since they are usually in their “false self,” and can’t risk exposure of their vulnerable real one, they will go to extreme measures to keep their false self intact, which includes projecting any bad traits onto others, denial, lying, gaslighting, and other tactics meant to deflect attention away from any flaws and transfer them onto others.

To a narcissist, you are not a real person, since a false self can’t acknowledge your humanity, only your usefulness to them. Like an infant who hasn’t yet realized they are a separate entity from their mother, your only purpose is to serve them and keep them alive. Narcissists, like babies, are emotionally unable to recognize that you are a human being who has needs and desires of your own.

You can be a pathological narcissist without being a malignant one, though. Malignant narcissism isn’t a person with NPD who is “more” narcissistic; it’s a person who has both Narcissistic and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)or an NPD with ASPD or sociopathic/psychopathic traits. Malignant narcissists are very dangerous because they combine the traits of narcissism with the traits of a sociopath or psychopath.

From Wikipedia:

The APA’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition, text revision (DSM IV-TR), defines antisocial personality disorder (Cluster B):[19]

A) A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three or more of the following:
–failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
–deception, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
–impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
–irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
–reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
–consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
–lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
C) There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.
D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) falls under the dramatic/erratic cluster of personality disorders, the so-called “Cluster B.”

I probably don’t need to define NPD here, since so much of this blog is about that.  While several of the traits of NPD and ASPD overlap (lack of empathy, aggression, and dishonesty), there are some differences too.   Conscience isn’t entirely lacking in a narcissist (though empathy, which is different from conscience, probably is).  In fact, some narcissists are overly concerned with “right” and “wrong” (of course, they’re always right) and never do anything remotely illegal and may seem concerned about “morals.”   That’s why so many of them are so judgmental and they can so commonly be found in churches and the helping professions.   Narcissists are also over-sensitive to criticism and care very much what others think of them, since the mask they wear requires the approval or at least attention of others.   People with ASPD and psychopaths (the latter are merely people who were probably born without a conscience or the ability to feel empathy) have no need for narcissistic supply from others since they aren’t wearing a mask.     They just want to do what they want to do and don’t care what you think of them.   They are not what anyone would call “sensitive” but most narcissists are incredibly sensitive (about themselves).   Unlike narcissists, who have strong emotions which are hidden due to shame, people with ASPD seem to not have any emotions, or their emotions seem limited to anger or boredom.    People with ASPD are also much more impulsive than narcissists, and don’t plan their actions ahead of time.  They act on whim, according to whatever strikes their fancy at the time.   They are also much more likely than people with NPD to break the law and be incarcerated (so there are a lot more narcissists walking around than antisocial people, which makes them more dangerous).

Malignant narcissists are a deadly combination of antisocial and narcissistic traits.   Because they are still narcissists, they are oversensitive to criticism, but unlike garden-variety narcissists, they have no conscience or sense of right from wrong.  Or if they do, they don’t care.  They are sadistic and enjoy the suffering they cause others.   They go out of their way to hurt others, because hurting others makes them feel good.    If you cause a malignant narcissist to suffer narcissistic injury, they will react in very antisocial ways.  They are spiteful and seek revenge when they are hurt.  They also tend to be extremely paranoid and act out against others pre-emptively to prevent injury.  A garden variety narcissist, when injured, may annoy you to death, demand reassurance, project, gaslight, or disappear, but won’t deliberately seek revenge just to hurt you.   They are broken people desperately trying to keep their false self intact but are almost always unaware of this.  They may be paranoid, but not to the point of pre-emptive attacks to avoid narcissistic injury.   Malignant narcissists also like to create chaos and tend to thrive in chaotic environments, where other people (including non-malignant NPDs) would just fall apart.  They may not be criminals or do anything against the law, but they like to cause upheaval, chaos and suffering.

Non-malignant narcissists are manipulative and dangerous too, but they don’t go out of their way to hurt others.   They are probably unaware of the pain they cause other people, and just think they are always right and that others are just extensions of themselves.   They may truly believe they are doing the right thing, truly believe you are at fault, or truly believe the person they are victimizing is really victimizing them.   Some non-malignant narcissists, if they ever become aware of the harm they cause to others, suffer from feelings of guilt and shame and even remorse.    Not so with malignant narcissists, who are usually fully aware of the pain they cause to others and derive sadistic pleasure from it.

Malignant narcissists, outside of an act of God, probably can never get any better.  They will never voluntarily enter therapy because they don’t think they have a problem; it’s everyone else who has the problem and deserves their wrath.   If there are evil people in the world, people with malignant narcissism would fit the bill better than anyone else.  Non-malignant narcissists may be extremely disordered, but they aren’t evil.  They may have moments of humanity and even emotional empathy.  They may be very difficult to cure (NPD is probably the most difficult personality disorder to cure outside of ASPD) but sometimes they voluntarily enter therapy, especially after a great loss.  A malignant narcissist would never be caught dead in a therapist’s office.

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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19 Responses to How does malignant narcissism differ from NPD?

  1. nowve666 says:

    Hey, Lucky! One small correction. People with ASPD wear masks too. It’s not a “false self” like a narc. It’s for our own protection as everyone thinks we’re terrible people. Ever notice how many articles there are on how to “spot” a psychopath? It’s like who is the hunter and who the hunted? Look at the cover of M.E. Thomas’ book, Confessions of a Sociopath, a life spent hiding in plain sight. The cover has a big picture of a mask.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As for the person who bullied me, “Tracy”–I’ve seen her smile at learning that someone she smeared, *allegedly* abused his girlfriend. She told me she and her husband had a good laugh when they read they blog. She wrote on Facebook the day she verbally skewered me, “I’m having a GREAT day!”

    If that’s a sign of malignancy–Well, I’d hoped she could be turned around, but maybe not. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Going by what I have personally experienced with the narcissists in my life, particularly my malignant mother, whose evil behavior has known no bounds, your descriptions of the various forms of narcissism seem exactly right to me.

    I say this with a very heavy heart… because I have recently become aware that one of my young adult grandchildren — not the one in Harvard, but another one — seems to be a narcissist. A malignant narcissist.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Oh, I am so sorry. How old is s/he? Maybe it’s just an adolescent phase. Teenagers and early 20’s can be very narcissistic and antisocial. I was sure my daughter was one too but she isn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

      • She is 19. She’s the mother of my 3 yr old great-grandson. I am praying she grows out of this. But the things she has done and said are so extreme, I don’t have much hope.

        My mother was a teenager when I was born and my childhood memories start so early, that I remember when my mother was nineteen. I’m really afraid that my granddaughter is just like her. It’s breaking my heart.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          What sort of things had she said and done?

          Like

          • It’s a long story. In a nutshell, she is very manipulative. She tells lies about people, trying to ruin their reputation, while being fake sweet to their face. But she is only fake sweet if she wants something from you. When she doesn’t need anything from a particular person anymore, she will throw them away with very cruel, hurtful remarks, using her insider knowledge about that person to cut them down with vicious words.

            She actually seems to enjoy hurting people, even the people who deeply care about her. And if you do or say one thing the least bit “wrong” in her eyes, she tells you that she is “done with you forever” and that she will never forgive you for. She also apparently steals things and destroys other people’s property. She acts very entitled. Everything is all about what she wants. She is disrespectful beyond belief to her elders, including me, her own grandmother. And the scariest thing of all is that she seems to have zero empathy.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. ashualec says:

    Even acts of God cannot change them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Barb Knowles says:

    While I know a great deal about narcissism, I never have heard of malignant narcissism. Thank you for educating me! I have a relative who shows aspects of narcissism, but not malignancy. She won’t even think about therapy. Her family is the problem, not her (that’s what she voices).

    Liked by 1 person

  6. dray0308 says:

    Reblogged this on DREAM BIG DREAM OFTEN and commented:
    It is time for you to follow Lucky Otter’s Haven!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My mother was mailignant – she adored hurting me and making me suffer as much as she could. I so remember her pitting one person against another – often half-truths, or gaslighting the facts, and then sitting back and watching them fight. She got enormous pleasure from it and would join in one one side making it an unfair conflict. She broke up many friendships, but never held one of her own for very long if she was in regular contact. So sad, I don’t believe she had many happy days in her life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I’m sorry you had a malignant N mother. So do I. I’m No Contact with her now, but she did untold damage to my self esteem. At this late age, I’m finally pulling myself from the mire and realizing what actually happened to me. It’s been incredibly eye opening.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. wizra Saeed says:

    you are doing excellent job

    Liked by 1 person

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