I’m so depressed I had to call in sick at work and set up an emergency therapy session this afternoon. I couldn’t sleep last night at all. I’m crying almost all the time. This is more than just SAD. That never got THIS bad before, even though it’s probably contributing to it. My therapist thinks I’ve slammed headlong into the “void” and have lost all my usual defenses without anything to fill the hole yet and that’s why I feel like I’m losing my mind. I know this is probably “good” and means I’ve made more progress but it sure doesn’t feel that way right now. I have to keep telling myself this is not permanent. I feel like what’s happening is some sort of grieving process. But what exactly I’m grieving I’m not sure.
I did see this post this morning and it made me feel a tad better. Maybe it can help someone else too.