Breaking through and the emotional power of music.

This is what’s going on with me now.

Down the Rabbit Hole


I can’t even begin to explain the details of what’s happening to me right now.   Saying I’m triggered would be an understatement.   Triggered?  I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.

My therapist told me the other night that he’s been seeing changes in me — a willingness to be open and honest and connect — and he also told me he was moved by our session (he’s always saying things like that–he’s an emotional empath and that is so important to me right now).   I can’t go into specifics about what has triggered me so profoundly, but he thinks what’s happening is good, and that it means I’m approaching a big breakthrough.   He sees me trying to connect, trying so hard to access buried emotions.  But I still get so frustrated because I feel like there’s a great wall holding back the flood.  I’m so…

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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4 Responses to Breaking through and the emotional power of music.

  1. I doubt I have anything to say that will make you feel better about it, but I understand what that’s like. And I hope you get as much time as you need to get it all de-shelled. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hisbannerovermeislove says:

    i relate to this and it is painful. i wish there was a way i could crawl into the computer and give you a hug….hope that doesn’t sound too creepy

    Liked by 1 person

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