The Ten Commandments of the Narc Cult family.

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Narc families are like cults.   They swarm with Cluster Bees (sorry, couldn’t resist!) particularly Narcissists, and there is usually one Leader who is a Malignant Narcissist that rules over the Lesser narcissists and their supporters. There is always one member who serves as a sacrificial lamb who all imperfections can be dumped on. The Narc-family Cult has a set of unwritten Commandments. If you break these Commandments, you will be turned viciously against.  Oh, no one tells you about the Commandments; there is no Holy Book or Bible; it is just assumed that you know them and you had better learn them well and not break any if you want to keep your place in the Cult.

  1.  Thou shalt not “enable” anyone down on their luck.   Everyone should be able to take care of themselves and not expect help.   To help someone means you’re a “codependent” or “enabler” and indicates your own unfitness to remain a Cult member.
  2. Thou shalt not be weak.  Weakness means financial, emotional, physical, or mental vulnerability of any kind.   Weakness also means showing empathy or true (as opposed to fake) kindness and charity. (see above).  You are to pull your self up by your own bootstraps no matter what challenges confront you, not cry or whine, and be a self-made man or woman. Do not expect financial, emotional or any other kind of support because such support is only for weak people.
  3. Thou shalt not ask for help.  Ever.  You are to pick yourself up even if you’re bleeding to death and not expect help from others because only weak people do that.  If you die of your wounds, oh well, you were too weak to deserve to live anyway.  If you do commit the sin of asking for help, expect to be judged, scolded and criticized for daring to be so “entitled” to expect help from others.   Each man out for himself.
  4.  Thou shalt value monetary and material success above everything else.   Be a self made man or woman and have lots of material goodies to show what a strong and successful person you are.   Qualities like empathy, compassion, and kindness are only for the weak.
  5. Thou shalt never become poor.  Becoming impoverished is proof of your weakness and unfitness to live in this world.   Poverty is a heinous sin, brought on by your own unfitness, stupidity, and incompetence and is evidence of your worthlessness.   Go die somewhere, loser.  You brought this on yourself.
  6. Thou shalt keep a perfect “Temple.”   Becoming fat, even a little overweight, or having any physical flaws you do nothing about (even if you are not able to do anything about them) or not dressing fashionably  is a mortal sin punishable by rejection and shunning.   You are not worthy of a place in the Cult if your Temple shows any cracks or imperfections.
  7. Thou shalt not expect support after age 18.   When a Cult member turns 18,  he or she is expected to fully support themselves, expect no help from any Cult member, and not ask questions.  Our responsibility to you ends on your 18th birthday.    Exceptions may be made for the Golden Child.
  8. A proper Cult family must keep a Sacrificial Lamb for ritual abuse.  A Sacrificial Lamb, or Scapegoat is a necessary accessory in any proper Cult family to carry any shame the more worthy family members want to be rid of or deny.   All unsavory or shameful traits can be unloaded and projected onto the Scapegoat, since a worthy Family member must be perfect at all times.  This Scapegoat should be banished when their purpose has been fulfilled or when they are no longer of any use.   There are no restrictions on how badly a Scapegoat can be treated.  They are fair game for any kind of abuse anyone wishes to  inflict on them.  Should the Scapegoat protest this treatment or attempt to blow the whistle, they are to be banished forever.  If they die, even better.  Their souls must be destroyed.
  9.  A proper Cult family must have its Golden Child.  The golden child is a Cult Leader in Training.  Every Cult family must contribute to the causes of the Cult by presenting its best and brightest (and most obedient) member and holding that child to lofty standards and a bright future.  The Golden Child should be trained to project any undesirable traits of their own onto the Scapegoat because they too must be perfect at all times and show no imperfections.
  10. Thou shalt learn the Rituals of the Cult.   Worthy Cult members must learn the ancient and sacred techniques of Gaslighting, Blame-Shifting, Triangulation, Recruitment of Flying Monkeys, Manipulation, Faking Emotion (for personal gain), Silence (for both punishment and control), Devaluation (and Discard), Denial, Smearing, and Character Assassination (to be used against the Scapegoat).  Any Cult member who fails to learn these techniques or refuses to use them is committing a heinous sin and risks demotion to Scapegoat status.
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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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12 Responses to The Ten Commandments of the Narc Cult family.

  1. Well said! I didn’t realize my mom had a copy of these😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Susan says:

    wow, all resonates. unfortunately seemed too familiar biblically as well. (ive studied the “scapegoat for azazel ritual) I wanted to say I LOVE how your photos are always so spot on!
    azazel was supposedly the one whom brought sin into the world
    “ALL SIN” ascribe to azazel.
    for teaching women about herbs as medicine,hair color and eyeliner
    3 things that are a HUGE part of my daily life and happiness and identity.
    and after living as a scapegoat in my own life I now “feel for azazel” and I feel creepy about it. his name is supposed to mean demon and evil
    but
    so was I
    supposedly
    nothing ever named about him was particularly vile
    not compared to average people of today!
    all sin of Israel was placed on this goats forehead and then they sent him AWAY viciously into exile (poor goat,!:( I LOVE goats) then they took him to the side of a cliff and pushed the goat over the side so its legs broke,then just left it like that..walked away…
    I can feel and read that happening in your list above
    makes me want to cry and go search for and gather all goats pushed over cliffs
    broken legs!!!
    ok people are INSANE,in what they think HEALS them (that ritual “healed Israel”and it was indeed VERY PERSONAL and directed at a particular man with a name and characteristics and everything
    when they performed this ritual then a thread tied to the goat which was “red with sins” then would turn white
    they say their red thread has NOT turned white for 2000 years now
    I suppose their ‘scapegoat’ got fed up

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lynettedavis says:

    Reading this was a little eerie because just yesterday, I was thinking that my ex’s family is a cult. You hit it on the nail when you said a malignant narcissist (my ex’s wife) is at the head and the lesser narcissists and enablers follow her direction and make excuses for her when someone points out her evil ways. Case in point: She decided that my daughter is their sacrificial lamb (she’s always shared scapegoat status with her younger brother) and turned everyone against her because she had the gall to “hint” at the abuse of the malignant narcissist during her childhood. The entire family has turned on her like the unrelenting pelting of a heavy rain, even going so far as to recruit her brothers, my sons, against her. Why? because she refuses to pretend like everything is okay when it clearly isn’t. She refuses to go along with the program as she was forced to do as a child. When they tried to minimize her feelings, she told them to just leave her alone. I was thinking about all of this yesterday when “cult” popped into my mind. Your post is confirmation. That’s exactly what it is. Oh, by the way, they claim to be a Christian family. They obviously believe their own lies.

    I don’t even want to get started with my mother, a malignant narcissist, and her family who I see in #4, #5 and #6…

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I am so sorry your daughter has been chosen as the scapegoat, but at least she has you on her side. Since you can see the truth too, have you also been scapegoated? Yes, these MNs have no shame. And a good many of them claim to be Christians. In fact, the churches and religious families are where you will find some of the worst ones. They hide behind religion and can always say what they do is justified because it’s “in the bible” or it’s God’s will. Like your daugher, I was also the truth teller in my family and the whistle blower. My mom was the MN and I saw through her at a very early age and called her what she was (empty and shallow) starting at about age 12

      Like

  4. nowve666 says:

    They. sound like conservatives.
    .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: The Ten Commandments of the Narc Cult family. – narcmagnet69x96

  6. susanbotchie says:

    Dear Lucky and Friends, the ten just reek of evolution. And yeah, too many churchians talk bibleeze, but live with a “devil-take-the-hindmost mindset. Truely sickening. No wonder people are leaving ghe Church in droves.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Leslie says:

    A lot of times I don’t read the articles about narcs because they hit too close to home. I have suggested in therapy that perhaps this is what goes on in my family and my therapist has quietly agreed. But the problem is, for me, that I’m not sure. My brother and I “joke” that my mother can only have one “good” kid at a time. I had managed to put blame behind me awhile back and was moving forward in my relationship with them one day at a time and on my terms. Until my father entered the situation all to hell by telling my suicidal brother to go ahead and kill himself. Now everything is a mess again. Narc or not? Asshole for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

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