I hate “soft” toilet paper.

Hahaha! Here’s a little something I wrote back in 2015, in those halcyon days of yore when we could still be picky about toilet paper brands.

Lucky Otters Haven


My roommate went shopping yesterday and brought home a 12 pack of toilet paper, which was a good thing because we were just about out.

But the toilet paper will be gone in less than a week, and it’s not because either one of us have some…uh, problem. It’s because the toilet paper she bought is the soft, puffy kind where one roll lasts about one day. Maybe less, if you ate a big, rich, greasy dinner the night before or come down with some bug.


It’s annoying to me. It’s not even worth putting the damn roll on the toilet paper holder, because it won’t last long enough to make that effort worth it, so I just set it on top, like this:


The toilet paper companies dupe you into thinking you’re getting a bargain but you’re really getting ripped off. A four-pack of cheap one-ply lasts about 4…

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3 thoughts on “I hate “soft” toilet paper.

  1. Funny. I never noticed soft toilet paper goes any faster than rough, unabsorbant toilet paper. I like it. We have one of those environment-friendly toilets that don’t let you use much toilet paper so we only use two pieces at a time. But maybe you were talking about three-ply toilet paper. That would go fast because the three plies make for less on a thick roll. I never use three ply. That’s just downright wasteful. Two ply is perfect.

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  2. Dear Lucky, until cono came along, and took all the tp, i was a tp snob. Well, this one store happened to have some – the two-ply i had normally turned up my nose at. Believe you me, i was grateful to get the two-ply. And you’re so right! It DOES last longer – and i’ll bet it’s more biodegradable.

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