I hate “soft” toilet paper.


My roommate went shopping yesterday and brought home a 12 pack of toilet paper, which was a good thing because we were just about out.

But the toilet paper will be gone in less than a week, and it’s not because either one of us have some…uh, problem. It’s because the toilet paper she bought is the soft, puffy kind where one roll lasts about one day. Maybe less, if you ate a big, rich, greasy dinner the night before or come down with some bug.


It’s annoying to me. It’s not even worth putting the damn roll on the toilet paper holder, because it won’t last long enough to make that effort worth it, so I just set it on top, like this:


The toilet paper companies dupe you into thinking you’re getting a bargain but you’re really getting ripped off. A four-pack of cheap one-ply lasts about 4 times as long as that 12-pack will and costs about the same (and probably kills fewer trees too).
The softness of it bugs me too. Personally I prefer a little grit.

Bye bye, Charmin Ultra Soft! Hello, Scott 1-ply!

24 thoughts on “I hate “soft” toilet paper.

      • When I lived in England in the 1970s I was surprised at how stiff and rough the TP was. I told one of my British friends that toilet paper in the USA is very soft compared to the Brit’s.

        Then my friend said, in his impeccably aristocratic British accent: “Really? Then do your fingers go right through it?” Lol.

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        • Linda, that’s so funny. I remember when I was in France in 1973, the toilet paper was not just stiff, but actually waxed on one side. You could have used it to wrap your sandwich and it would have kept it fresh. I actually used it for air mail stationery — wrote letters home to my friends on it, using a fountain pen. And it worked.

          The other thing that was very stiff and rough was the bed sheets. I’d grown up with muslin sheets, which were not luxurious by any means, but the bed sheets in France felt like burlap to me. The first few nights were very uncomfortable, but eventually I kind of got used to them. By the time I finally returned to the U.S., I’d grown so used to those burlap sheets that the first time I got into my own bed again, the sheets felt as if they were made of silk. It was the weirdest feeling!

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          • How interesting!

            Those of us who have been able to visit other countries and cultures have much to be thankful for. A policeman in the tiny town of Mundesley, England, where I lived in 1977 stopped by my house one day and kindly informed me that I needed to register as an “alien.” Even though my language was technically the same, I did indeed feel like an alien on a foreign planet. It was a cool feeling. I wish I could afford to travel the world!

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  1. I remember the public British toilet paper well, something akin to tracing paper. YUK!
    I prefer soft due to problems I will not mention, but not TOO soft, like you said…
    Fun post 😉

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  2. I hate one-ply. It’s ghastly. Everything goes through it. You might as well use a lota (cups of water used in India to rinse out your fingers after wiping with your hand.

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  3. OMG. Had no idea there could be two ongoing toilet paper debates. There are probably a few more but I refuse to participate in any of them .TP issues of any sort are not high on my list of life’s priorities, though I’m sure other silly details are and I just don’t want to think about them now.

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  4. I completely agree. I also can’t stand the soft stuff when it comes to nose blowing. Those little soft particles get sucked right into the old sniffer during pre-blow inhalation.

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