Why do so many narcissistic abuse survivors support Donald Trump?


I read a post on a narcissistic abuse blog last night in which the blogger expressed concern and confusion over Ollie Matthew’s support of Donald Trump.   For anyone who doesn’t know who Ollie Matthews is, he has a popular Youtube channel for survivors of narcissistic abuse and was himself raised by narcissists.   Lately he’s been posting videos that defend Trump’s narcissism by calling it “confidence” and making other excuses for the things Trump does and says.   His channel has been losing original subscribers, since so many victims are so triggered by this president and can’t understand Matthews’ need to defend and support a man who is probably the biggest narcissist in the world, and a sociopathic one at that.

Curious, I went to Ollie’s Youtube channel and started to watch one of his Trump videos and I had to turn it off.  I felt sick.  Here was a guy who has been victimized by people just like Trump and doesn’t exactly have very nice things to say about them.  I’ve found his videos– which express a lot of raw anger at “his” narcissists, particular his mother — helpful in the past, especially when I was newly No Contact.     Why on God’s green earth would someone who in no uncertain terms tells us to  avoid narcissists  like the plague be supporting a malignant narcissist who seems to have limitless power to abuse not just a few people, but millions — maybe even billions if he manages to destroy the environment or start a world war?

Unfortunately, Matthews isn’t that unusual.  I have come across several narcissistic abuse bloggers and Facebook group owners who proudly and unapologetically support Trump.   I don’t understand this.  I could understand a victim who is unaware of  narcissism or narcissistic abuse supporting him.   If becoming educated about this problem is enough to make a person take the huge step of going No Contact with an abuser, why wouldn’t it also make that person think twice before throwing their support behind a narcissist whose behavior is so extreme that mental health professionals are willing to break the Goldwater Rule and publicly diagnose him with NPD or Malignant Narcissism?

Honestly, I haven’t the foggiest idea.    Do they see Trump as a good guy?  Ollie apparently does — he says his narcissism is “confidence.”   Maybe they have Stockholm Syndrome and are unconsciously still drawn to abusive people.  Maybe they really agree with his destructive policies and don’t see them as destructive.   Maybe they see this man’s abusive language and bullying as a principled refusal to be politically correct.   “He’s being honest,” one wrote.     They apparently cannot see the gaslighting, the lies, the abusive and chaotic behavior and actions, the fragile ego, the vindictiveness, the crass self-centeredness, the scapegoating of people and groups who dare to criticize him or that he sees as “weak.”    Reading posts in support of Trump by narcissistic abuse bloggers, Youtubers, and group owners makes me feel insane.   I don’t understand it and never will.


4 thoughts on “Why do so many narcissistic abuse survivors support Donald Trump?

  1. I think that our country is just now so polarized left/right, red/blue, conservative/liberal, Democrat/Republican, that it really no longer matters who the people are who lead the movement we believe in. If they are on “our team,” we see anything they do as good, and if not, then they are bad. The GOP runs the show now, which means that they are the winning team, so there is also a compounding narcissism-of-tribe effect where we revise the way we look at people whether they are perceived as winners or losers in society’s contests (an election being an example of one). It would be interesting to know what Matthews views were independent of Trump. I would guess that he’s a solid conservative and has identified as such for a while. I am not saying that conservatives are stupid or prone to be Stockholm Syndrome. If Trump was liberal, perhaps the left/blues/liberals/Democrats would be tripping over themselves to apologize for or just straight up rationalize his behavior as well. I see what you observe being more a reflection of the tenor of politics in our nation than an isolated example of someone failing to see the truth in a situation.

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  2. I think it has to do with the stockholm syndrome point that you give. For me it feels as if those people are being thrown back in old patterns, before going no contact. The denial of the abuser being an abuser, being a narcissist, or being uncertain but somehow keep clinging on them. It seems very similar, so I think that is the reason. It triggers them and puts them back many stepts, back in the power of the narcissist.

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    • I think you are right. I also think that for some conservatives, Trump seems like the logical choice (although what he and the GOP are doing isn’t a partisan issue at all but a HUMAN one that affects ALL of us) and maybe some people who are conservatives still want to believe he is doing the right thing for the country and cognitive dissonance is too hard to deal with.

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