Tornado magnet.

Stay safe, everyone living in the line of the tornadoes and severe storms that are barrelling though the country right now.

tornadomagnet

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About luckyotter

Recovering from C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. I was married to a sociopathic narcissist for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Christian, mom to 2 Millennials, mental illness stigma activist, passionate anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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3 Responses to Tornado magnet.

  1. stocazzo personality disorder says:

    Hi! I found this website through the “Comparing covert narcissism and BPD” article you wrote. For some reason i can’t comment on there so i hope you don’t mind if i share some thoughts here.
    First of all, nice article, you’re really good! I read a lot of stuff about covert npd but never a good, satisfying one. I don’t know, i feel relieved somehow, i’m probably 100% convinced on what i am now, and i should probably say thanks.
    I made researches by myself (other than being in therapy and on meds) for 7 years now. The problem is, here in Italy they basically don’t recognize the covert npd at all, they barely recognize any cluster b personality disorder actually. Officially, i’m just bipolar. I was diagnosed with apd and bpd too, but that didn’t make any sense to me. I’m shy, i have bad anxiety issues (at least when i’m not sure of my position – whit strangers mostly – then i switch), but it’s not just that, my anxiety triggers in a more complex way. It’s like i can’t do anything productive because i could find out that i’m not able to, so i get anxious and i don’t do anything – this happens a lot, even when alone. I fantasize about big projects, i have a lot – a lot – of ideas, but i rarely start realizing one and even so, i don’t finish it. That’s why i dropped school. Not because of social anxiety or depression. Also i’m definitely not borderline. I’m cold, i never act on impulse, i never expose my emotions, and i know people with bdp, we’re so different, i know how abusive i am with people around me, how good i am at manipulating them, and let’s say i’m sadistic, in a psychological, not very much physical, way. I know this about me. I know i don’t feel any regret, i just don’t know what it is, and so on, you know good about NPD.
    But what really caught me is that you’re ANOTHE bdp who had probably a twisted relation with ANOTHER npd. That’s a pattern, always the same pattern, just look around you and see how many people fall for this. *Every* girlfriend i had, *every* lover i had, was bpd. And i didn’t know, i didn’t pick them up in a clinic. I just fall in love with them naturally, so easily, and the same happens with them falling in love with me (by the way: why you think that happens? I mean, i know how i do seduce girls but i really don’t know how they seduce me – in all honesty and without any bad intention i also feel a bit attracted to you by just reading, which is mental) The crazy thing is that the moment in which i realize that, i always say everything to them, i try to explain, i say “you’ll probably suffer if you stay with me, i’m not the person you think i am, i am 100% sure you will hate me some day, even if i love you i will use you and manipulate you without even knowing” and since they see all that honesty they think i cannot be bad, after all i get so worried about their happiness, i must be the most caring people they met in their life. It’s true, i worry and i want to take care of them, but that doesn’t stop me from doing what i normally would do. And the cycle repeats. I get bored, they get dependent, and you’re probably familiar with what happens next. And when i think of it, i know that i’m being honest *for myself*, because yes i do care i’m not a sociopath, but it’s all about making a good impression. It’s a bit of a paradox, a double mask like you said. You’re saying the truth but you’re lying in your intentions. Or, to say it in another way, you’re hiding a lie under another lie – which happens to be the truth. Complicated? Yet it feels natural to me, and i could say i feel scared abour myself but it’s not true, i’m proud of it. In our defense tho, i should say that both the bpd and the npd are victims, and i honestly get angry sometimes, because i feel like we’re always the only part that’s blamed, because it’s the exposed one. Think about it. The npd is the one who “stays in charge”, he/she’s the one who control the relation, the bdp wants that, because he/she’s needy, and that’s also why they complete each other so well. Also, i do have feelings like every other human being, probably i feel even more, and i really hate to be treated like a total asshole.
    Well, i could write for another two hours but wow, i’m sorry, i didn’t know i would’ve written so much, i tend to talk to much 😀
    Hope you’ll read this. Thanks.

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