That one annoying commenter you can’t get rid of.

tiny-yapper

“Tiny Yapper” — Artwork by Mike Reed

We bloggers probably all have at least one of them.   You know, that one annoying person who seems to disagree with all your opinions and just wants to argue but can’t seem to stay away from your blog no matter how often they are shot down or ignored.

I’m not talking about trolls.   Trolls are abusive and nasty and sadistic.   They seem to get their jollies from angering and upsetting site owners and their readers with abusive, ad-hominem attacks and name-calling.  They can never back up their arguments.  They seem to exist just to upset others.

No, I’m talking about people who have vastly different opinions and beliefs than the prevailing opinions and beliefs on the blogs they read.   They don’t actually abuse, though they can be very sanctimonious and self-righteous. They waste their breath arguing with you and your like-minded commenters, and act as if we’re all wrong and only their belief system is the right one.

I have a commenter like this right now.    This individual is extremely annoying to me.  It’s not even because we have vastly different opinions about most things; it’s that this individual is so self-righteous and smug about it.    I could just delete their comments, but this person does have a right to their opinion, so I approve them anyway, as much as dislike most of them.   I don’t like this person though, so after posting one useless counter-argument, I refuse to engage this person further.   Now I just let the comments stand as they are, without further comment or engagement.  I think that’s more effective than arguing with someone whose mind probably can’t be changed because they’re so sure you’re wrong and they’re just trying to “save” you from your wrong thinking.    I just don’t feel like wasting my time.  I have better things to do.

wrong-internet

I thought my freezing them out might have made this person disappear, but no such luck.  They are still posting comments that seem intended to make me ragey, although I don’t express my annoyance.   This person seems completely oblivious that I’m giving them the cold shoulder by not Liking or commenting on any of their comments.

I don’t understand people like that.   Fine, I can understand a troll’s motives.  Sort of.  They are usually sociopaths and like to stir up trouble.   Upsetting people is entertainment to them. They get off on it.   But “that one commenter” isn’t a troll.  They believe what they are saying.  They are right. You are wrong.  Period.   They don’t name call or use ad hominem attacks.   They are just insufferably smug and self righteous about your wrongness and their rightness.

I don’t understand why someone like that would spend time writing comments on a blog whose prevailing views are so different than theirs.  Why not read blogs where most of the people there will agree with you?    It just seems like a huge waste of time to me.

If you blog, how do YOU handle these kinds of commenters?

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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23 Responses to That one annoying commenter you can’t get rid of.

  1. ~M says:

    I approve their comment, but usually don’t say anything back. It’s easier just to let them be. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Suze says:

    if they are proselytizing abut religion or politics and can not take the hint, or even the right in their face comments that I do not agree with them, I will eventually block them after a month of so of inane comments. I hate doing that, but at the same time I can not abide someone telling me “you are wrong to believe that”.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Cracked up at the picture. “Someone is wrong on the Internet.” If we spent all our time focusing on that, I think nobody would use the Internet anymore. 😄 It wouldn’t be enjoyable as all. I don’t want to call the commenter you mention upon myself but I really don’t have one. Knock on wood.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Oh no, is it me? :O (Just kidding. 😉 )

    My comments are typically turned off, so it hasn’t been too big a deal. On other blogs, though, I see them. One recently responded to a comment I made MONTHS ago, on a blog post about purity culture. It was full of shame, which is precisely what the blogger had written about. She was horrified and deleted it. I just saw a few words and knew not to engage, or even to read it all.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. piratepatty says:

    I haven’t had but one. I just said Thanks for your opinion bless your ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There is one particular follower I simply ignore. Their comments are annoying – when they do make sense. It’s been going on for a while, but the comments are now few and far between. And I still ignore them!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I have not really marketed my blog at all and I have very few commenters, let alone negative ones. However, I had a situation a while back when a disgruntled boyfriend made a remark that I could tell was accusatory in a passive aggressive way. This was easy to handle, however.

    What really bothered me was not knowing what to do when someone wanted to reply with a comment that was not hostile to me, but implied they were from a superior bloodline. This comment I could not allow to go public on my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Andrei says:

    People are entitled to their own opinion – that’s a rule of the thumb. HOWEVER a writer/blogger’s business is to write, therefore he would certainly know and sense if there is something fishy hidden inside a line of a comment. A contradictory opinion politely expressed in 1 or 2 regards might be considered constructive yet if it continuesly steps out boundaries or became assertive to the point of influence, it’s deemed something else other than to build up.
    Keep going. You write for your many wonderful bloggger-friends who know how to appreciate an effort put into a post and the courage to come out with it, ignore the insignificant number of detterrants. ☺
    Oh, hope I’m not sounding all to righteous, or am I? Haha

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      No, you’re fine. People can disagree but there’s a certain way some people come across that is just annoying beyond words. They can state their views and explain why they feel that way, but still remain respectful of your own right to feel the way you do. But there are some, like this one person I refer to, who come off as smug and holier than thou. I feel like they are trying to convert me and imply that I’m somehow defective morally because I hold the views I do. I hate judgmental, smug, self righteous, sanctimonious people. And from my experience, those kind of people usually turn out to be narcissists.

      Like

  9. Momof2 says:

    Okay, I don’t know if this is about me but it’s never my intention to argue. I have noticed that when someone posts a different view, people see it as an argument so it’s like keep your mouth shut unless you agree. Yes I do enjoy reading your blog and post like this make me less likely to comment because I don’t know if my comment will be perceived as an argument and that I am trying to look for trouble. If this post wasn’t directed at me, then ignore this comment and I will keep posting.

    I say if they still keep at it after you don’t respond to them and they don’t seem to give up, maybe they aren’t doing that and it just looks that way ?

    Liked by 1 person

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