The Truth In The Lie Of Narcissistic Love

This brilliant post ponders on the question all of us who have ever been in a narcissistic relationship (or had narcissistic parents) have asked: can a narcissist feel love? This deeply personal post says yes, they can. But they have no idea how to express their love in appropriate ways because everything, especially loving someone, hurts too much. So they hurt the one they love instead so they don’t have to feel all that pain.

You can’t reason with them or plead with them to stop doing what they do, though. Attacking you isn’t something they can control — it’s an automatic reaction, almost like a reflex. Whether or not a narcissist is capable of FEELING love, they don’t know how to EXPRESS it in a loving way, so you’re better off not wasting your own love trying to make a relationship with one work. If you must love a narcissist, do it from a safe distance.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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3 Responses to The Truth In The Lie Of Narcissistic Love

  1. survivednarc says:

    There may be a few who can feel love but I do not believe those very few can feel love the way we do it. I believe most of them simply use people for their own purposes and ego-stroking etc.. I did believe for a long time that my ex narc did harbor some version of “love” for me, but when it stood clear to me that after all I went through to fight for him, he didn’t care whether I lived or died. I have never encountered a person so cold in my entire life.. (but such an extremely skilled actor). So my interpretation is that sadly there is absolutely no love at all within a narc. Just my 2 cents of course, and based on my personal experience…. but yes, ome can love them, but from a safe distance. 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      What you say is very true. I don’t know if narcissists can feel love, but this is the author’s opinion. I tend to think the kind of love they feel is more akin to an addiction — they are addicted to the supply others can give them. A drug addict “loves” their drug, but that kind of love isn’t anything you’d want bestowed on you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • survivednarc says:

        Yep, addicted to the supply is a very good term for it… I am both sad but mainly relieved, that the drug narcissistic supply is so easy to get from any number of “dealers” out there.. ex narc only comes running to me when he can’t get a hold of any of his other “dealers”, but I try to keep my door shut.. 😉 I don’t wish his kind of “love” upon anyone else either, but at this point it is “them (the strangers who will have their lives ruined by him), or me”, so I have to choose me.. phew. So glad to have gotten away alive. 🌸🌸🌸

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