Epidemic of depression.

heart_hurts

I haven’t been reading other blogs too much lately (too depressed), but I did read this post by Bradley over at Bipolar Bear.   He describes a depression that sounds quite a bit like mine.  I think a lot of people are saddened about Trump’s winning the election, and feel hopeless about living in America.

In my case, I don’t think it’s just Trump winning the election, though I don’t think that helps.   I think my depression is due to several things:  abandonment issues being triggered, the election, the wildfires and lack of rain, my seasonal SAD, plumbing issues that have no easy fix, and other, less specific things that have been bothering me.

Right now, I feel pretty hopeless and depressed about everything and I’m not even sure why.  I just feel sad and seem to have no energy.   I don’t have much motivation to write anything, or even to read other blogs or comment on them.   I’m going to talk to my therapist about this on Thursday and see if we can figure out what’s going on because I’m so tired of feeling this way.

It seems like a lot of people I know are feeling this way lately, even people who weren’t bothered by the outcome of the election.   Is it something in the air? I don’t know.

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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19 Responses to Epidemic of depression.

  1. bpdover30 says:

    I stumbled across your blog while being unable to sleep. I often read research journals concerning BPD, both psychology and neurology, during this time. Tonight I didn’t feel like focusing enough to do this and instead chose to google-search curiosities concerning said topic.

    I read your old post comparing C PTSD to BPD. It was intriguing. The comments even more so. Your plight in dealing with narcissism is a horrid reality, I am sorry you have suffered through this. The research regarding narcissistic abuse has been being conducted for decades, but like most scientific research it has widely gone unnoticed. Being brought into mainstream knowledge accounts for how most research gains enough interest to be validated through later studies. I commend you for sharing your life experiences to prompt awareness. You are, undoubtedly, helping many people.

    As for your current mental state, I hope the depressive episode fades. You are correct about the gloom in the air. Many people are experiencing fear-indused sadness and as a borderline it is easy to be effected by the mood of others. (It’s that whole feeling guilty for situations you can’t control…)

    Best wishes,

    Arielle

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I think the reality of living in a nation that would elect a misogynist sociopath to the presidency, is something that would challenge the most brave hearted mentally intelligent person.

    Just remember however, that all fears and discouragement are still just “tricks” of evil forces. For those of good will, though they may suffer at times, God wills joy. “Fear not” said the angels at Bethlehem.

    I think the solution lies in replacing our fears of the bleakness in our lives with proportionate and infinite trust in God, that He really will not only protect us but has much joy in store for us, infinite joy.

    This is what terrorists, abusers and every narcissist in the world does not wish us to find out. Convincing us we are doomed to the unhappiness that they deserve is their main goal. Realizing it’s just a trick or temporary illusion for me is always half the battle won.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’ve been feeling blah too. My anxiety has gotten way worse. I can’t tell if it’s the election fiasco or the prednisone my Dr. gave me. The election happened on the 8th and I saw my doctor and was given a prednisone shot on the 9th.

    Maybe it’s both the election and prednisone. I now have a bright red itchy rash, along with the anxiety. I looked it up and both are common side effects with prednisone, especially in women over 60. Lucky me.

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Rashes are the worst! Ugh! I hope it goes away soon.

      Liked by 1 person

    • What is really bizarre is on the morning after the election my two dogs got into a horrible fight over food, that left the one gentler dog with a bite wound through the leg that was bleeding profusely and needed emergency surgery.

      You can imagine me shaking profusely after I pried them apart and rushing the victim dog to the vet.

      Both dogs are now okay and the dog that got bit got revenge on her perpetrator because the biter is afraid of the cone that the bitee has to wear on her head until her surgery heals. Lol

      But, what’s amazing is the amazement of the female staff at the vet. They said my dog was the third dog bite victim they saw that day. They had been getting them one after the other, and concluded it had to be related to the results of the election.

      Of course pro abortion get rich quick Hillary was not really a friend to lower socioeconomic woman and children. However, all women can sense the danger in which a misogynistic Trump presidency places women and children and all vulnerable persons.

      Perhaps all of God’s innocent little creatures can sense this a well, and emulated, the double bind we were placed in.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oh, wow. We have two dogs, too, both of whom we found abandoned and starving, wandering the streets. The feisty one is a 20 pound poodle boy we named Scrappy, because he was a tiny starved scrap when we found him, but he is a scrapper and because he is, he survived.

        The sixty pound dog we found several months ago, when she weighed considerably less, looks like a Pitbull Boxer mix. But despite the bad reputation of her breeds, we named her Baby… because she acts like one. She is afraid of my stepdaughter’s tiny yappy Chihuahuas. And when we took her to the vet, she trembled like a leaf, and climbed up on my lap for comfort. Just like a baby, lol.

        Our dogs did not fight, thank goodness, but they have been nervous and clingy lately. They both loved our almost daily mile long walks, but now they would rather stay home! I think it started around the time of the election!

        What you said, Shepherd Girl, about the two candidates… yup.

        Liked by 2 people

        • luckyotter says:

          I wish I could meet your dogs. I love animals, they are great comforters and friends. As far as the bad rep that Pit bulls get, I think a lot of it is the way they were trained. Some pit bulls are trained to fight, but any dog can become aggressive if constantly punished and abused the way fighting dogs are. I have met some very sweet pit bulls who wouldn’t hurt a fly. I also watched a video about a lovely gentle pit who had been used as a “bait dog” (don’t ask) and was horrifically abused. I won’t post the video because even thought the dog, named Betsy, wound up being rescued and found a loving forever home, the abuse she had suffered was very upsetting. She was turned into bait because she refused to fight (this is common practice among dogfighters). She kept her trusting nature even after all that and adjusted beautifully to her new family, who has kids who roll around on the ground with her and all she does is lick them to death! So many pit bulls, even if trained to fight, aren’t violent. I think they have gained a bad reputation but at the end of the day theyare just dogs who need love and affection like any other dog. I’d love to meet your lovely pit.

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      • luckyotter says:

        I think people are feeling really down about this election. It’s this sense of hopelessness and helplessness that nothing we do can stop the evil from happening and this country from falling apart. Our votes just don’t matter. I wasn’t a fan of Hillary either.
        I’m glad to hear your dogs are okay. 🙂 Even the animals are picking up on the tension, I think.

        Like

  4. nikitalondon says:

    sending you HUGS 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bradley says:

    I hope your therapist on Thursday will help you. I see mine on Friday and I’m hanging on and counting the seconds.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I was depressed (and anxious) for the entire week following the election. Seriously, couldn’t do anything but escape TV. I am still motoring low – so I DO think that the election has a lot to do with the downswing of mood of all bloggers who have a tendency toward depression.

    Hope is depression’s best antidote, and a great many of us aren’t feeling very hopeful about the next four years – or about living in a country who would elect a narcissistic hate-monger to our highest office. Don’t discount that. Sunshine helps, and those in the northern hemisphere aren’t getting a bunch of that at this time of year either.

    BUT, understanding doesn’t automatically change mood, as you know. You already know what to do (besides listening to your therapist), so do your best to DO that. Praying for you.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • In my opinion, “feeling hope” is not the antidote of depression because hope is what depression prevents one from feeling. It is not our fault when we can’t “feel” it. TRUST is therefore the only antidote we at times can apply. Trust in God, His generosity and love for us, is what eventually brings back feelings of hope for me, when life obscures the feelings associated with my hope. Trusting in GOD, and no man, never failed anyone. Sometimes God allows people to reach this point to accelerate His generosity and gifts of love and laughter to them.

      Liked by 3 people

      • I am so sorry if it seemed I was suggesting that a person who is depressed “should” feel anything. I’ve been there and I know better.

        Faith heals – yet it is often tough for those who are deeply depressed to hang on to their faith until hope returns. That was the intent of my former comment: they are intertwined.

        I pray for a return of faith and hope to all who are struggling.
        xx,
        mgh

        Liked by 1 person

  7. 1EarthUnited says:

    I’ve read Bradley’s post as well, I only hope we as a nation can heal and move on, for better or worse. While certainly a scary thought with Trump as president in our collective future, fellow blogger Lada has a refreshing perspective.
    Awesome report for more insight and understanding, watch Lada’s post-election video report… it’s a breath of fresh air, just brilliant analysis:

    https://futuristrendcast.wordpress.com/2016/11/04/lada-rays-final-us-election-predictions-addendum-to-esr16-us-elections-and-what-will-happen-after/

    Trump is our Prez… God help us all.

    Like

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