11 ways blogging has changed my life.

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Next month will be Lucky Otter’s Haven‘s 2 year anniversary! It’s hard to believe I’ve been blogging that long. I started blogging only 6 months after going No Contact with my ex. It has become a real addiction, but much more than that–it was a game changer for me. My life is not the same as it was two years ago. Here are ten (plus one) ways blogging has changed my life.

1. I’ve become a much better writer. I’m rather embarrassed by how badly written some of my early posts were. I think I’ve honed my writing skills and use a lot less “purple prose” and unnecessary adjectives than than I used to–that has always been a huge weakness of mine when it comes to writing.

2. I’ve become more self confident and less shy. Writing about your thoughts and feelings teaches you a lot about yourself. You become more introspective and in so doing, realize a lot of good things about yourself, and that gives you confidence. You also get validation from others, and that boosts your self esteem. You also find out that most people aren’t going to judge you for things you thought were shameful or embarrassing. It takes a while to work up the courage to write about such personal things, but once you do, you realize that your words may have helped or inspired someone else and they will appreciate you for your honesty. This has translated into my real life to some degree–while I’m still shy and awkward in social situations, I seem to be a bit more outgoing and less awkward now.

3. I’ve made some wonderful friends. Although I haven’t met any of my blogging friends, I feel like we’re a family, and for a few of you, I feel as if I’ve known you all my life. Before blogging, I felt so alone and isolated, but in the blogosphere, I’ve found so many people who have stories similar to my own, have gone through similar kinds of trauma, and we’ve grown to care abut and support each other. We’re like the surrogate family we never had!

4. I’ve become more creative. Writing almost every day forces me to consult my “muse” and the more ideas I think of to write about, it seems the more ideas just come to me, and some of them are pretty wild! I go ahead and write about those crazy ideas too, and sometimes those prove to be my best posts.

Hello world. This is my very first blog. I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing yet or how the heck this thing (WordPress) works. I’m learning so please be patient with me.

–The first sentence of my first blog post, Lucky Otter’s Haven, 9/10/14

 

5. I’m a better person than I was. Writing about your deepest thoughts and feelings, and exploring painful memories helps purge a lot of the pain that was keeping me from moving forward into real healing. Writing is powerful therapy and I find that today I’m less depressed, less angry, less fearful, have more moments of joy and serenity, and have even become more outgoing. I’ve also developed a lot more empathy, which was almost unavailable to me when I began blogging.

6. A blog is a great record of how you’ve changed over time. It’s always fascinating (and a little horrifying!) to go back and read over old posts and see how much you’ve changed. It gives you perspective and clarity. I can tell by the tone of my early posts that I’m not the same–my early posts were a lot more bitter, angry, whiny, and cynical, and a LOT less spiritual (I was agnostic when I started blogging). I realize a lot of that attitude was because I was only recently out of an abusive relationship and was still in shell shock, but blogging has definitely helped me overcome that.

7. My computer skills are better. Setting up and designing my blogs has given me more confidence in my computer skills. I can do a lot of things on a computer I didn’t used to be able to and thought would be difficult but are really not.

8. Blogging has given me a focus and a goal. All my life, I never had a real goal and never really knew what I wanted to do with my life. Narcissism and narcissistic abuse has always been my primary topic on my blogs, but lately my fascination with this subject is expanding into my wanting to help others heal, whether from abuse or from narcissism itself. I haven’t decided yet whether I will write a book or become a life coach or therapist. Maybe both!

9. My faith in God has grown. God gave me writing ability for a reason, and as I grew as a writer and shared my thoughts and feelings on an increasingly intimate level, I found myself actually listening to what God was trying to tell me, and realizing how much he really does care. I found other bloggers like myself whose faith was also strengthened through the gift of the written word.

10. It’s fun. Blogging is so addictive, and I’ve never had a hobby I’ve been more passionate about. In fact, I never really had any serious hobbies until I started to blog. I always look forward to coming home from work, opening my laptop, and starting to write, or reply to comments, or read other blogs (when I have time). I get so immersed in blogging sometimes I actually forget to eat!

11. I make a little bit of money from blogging. I can’t quit my day job, but I make about $50 a month from ads that run on this blog. It ain’t much, but it pays for my gas for a couple of weeks or a nice dinner out once a month! It’s always a great feeling to get paid to do what you love doing the most–even if you can’t live on it. But I’d blog even if I had to pay to do it. That’s how much I love doing this.

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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47 Responses to 11 ways blogging has changed my life.

  1. Izrael says:

    What a journey you had on your 2 years here on WordPress! The things that you have learned about yourself on WordPress is impeccable. I know that blogging has changed my life for the better too. It is the sharing of one’s thoughts through writings that allow us to express ourselves freely from what has cage us inside. Just writing my darkest thoughts has released my demons at times and it felt great afterward. The blogging community has gives strength to fellow bloggers as we connect and interact with each other well. I see that there is less hate here on WordPress as comparing to other social media websites. It is beautiful to see how supportive we are of each other in this community. I hope that the blogging community will stay that way. Much love.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. All wonderful reasons to blog and I agree with so many! I’ve grown in less than a year beyond my dreams already! Blessed be and happy anniversary!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ways my life has changed since blogging: lots more time spent hacking through various issues with websites not doing what they’re supposed to, lots of time spent checking stats, and TWO legal threats (one from ex-narcs who discovered my site, one from another blogger)! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, yeah, and it’s usually fun, too. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      If the red flags from that blogger that’s sending you legal threats were any redder, they’d be a flashing neon sign. That blog ought to have a warning sign on it. There are troublemakers out there in blog-land, and there are narcs galore and terrible hypocrites (not so much on WP, thank God). Blog wars are NOT fun! Neither are trolls or abusive remarks from people who wish you ill. Blogging has its downside, but I still think it’s worth it. A lawsuit would definitely not be fun at all. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
      Me, I like checking stats (except when they’re going down–then it sucks)

      You’re self hosted, right? I know there’s advantages, but I think keeping up with all that would be a huge headache. But that’s just me. Maybe one day. We’ll see.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I’m self-hosted. A couple of months ago, I had so much trouble figuring out why my blog suddenly crashed, I wanted to switch to WordPress.com. But then I checked out the .com version and all I’d have to give up. 😛

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          I’ve thought about going self hosted but it just sounds so complicated and I’m afraid I’d lose everything or something, or fck everything up beyond repair. It does sound tempting though. Everyone I know who’s gone self hosted hasn’t regretted it.

          Like

          • It depends on how much time you have to spare and how technical you want to get. You’ll end up with a crash course in all sorts of codes and FTP and such, and then when something goes wrong, you have to figure out why and fix it yourself. Or if you don’t like how your basic theme does things, you have to figure out how to alter it–and don’t forget to make a child theme or you lose it next time WordPress upgrades. Fortunately, WP has a huge amount of self-help articles all across the web, so you can google for your errors. And you have to pay for a decent host, because the free services are worth all the money you pay ($0).

            I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to streamline my site and figure out if the plugins are interfering with each other, if there’s something going on in the database, or if the server is simply throttling me for doing too much on it and I have to leave it alone. I also wonder if I just have a sucky host, since I find a lot of hate for my hosting company on the Web. Meanwhile, your site loads right up and makes me jealous. 😉

            But then I checked out WordPress.com a couple of months ago, and remembered that it won’t let you use Javascript, unlike Blogger. You can’t even put a simple redirect code or Statcounter code in your WP.com site, while you can at Blogger. I also wouldn’t be able to use my PDF creator, which people use on my site ALL THE TIME. Plus WP.com says that all your content is under THEIR copyright and not yours. (grrr) But Blogger may not play well if I try to put my WP.org site back over there. So I’m still here…..

            I guess it’s like a marriage: Check everything out and make sure you know what you’re doing beforehand. And once you’re there, some times are great, some times make you want to tear your hair out. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              I dont know if you’re familiar with Opinionated Man (Harsh Reality blog) but back some months ago he went self hosted and posted about it as he went along. It did seem complicated and frustrating but he says he’s very glad he did it. I would need the time and money to do all of what you (and him) describe. He uses GoDaddy as his host, he says that one is very good. One day I probably will self host, but that’s down the road, or if this blog suddenly gets really huge (unlikely!) I think I’ll copy your advice here into Wordpad and save it for later reference, should I decide to go that route. Thanks! 🙂
              It all seems a bit overwhelming though.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I’ll have to check his blog out, then. 🙂 You’re welcome. Oh, yeah, and it did give me the confidence 3 years ago to create and run a brand-new website for my church as well. One was sorely needed, and I discovered we could get a free template and free server through the archdiocese. If at any time I want to give it up, I can simply hand over the keys.

              Of course, for that site I also get tech support from the archdiocese; they take care of updates, security, etc. I basically just put stuff on now and then. I read about some hosts which will also manage your WordPress.org site like that, but they sound very expensive. Would make it a lot easier, though. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              That’s cool you created a website for your church! It certainly must be validating knowing how to do all this stuff on your own, and have more freedom in getting your site to look the way you want, etc.
              Maybe I’ll look into some of those hosts that help you manage your WP.org site. I’ll probably need them, if I can afford it.
              Opinionated Man’s blog:
              https://aopinionatedman.com/bloggers-come-and-go/
              He was a great help to me (and a lot of other newbies) when I was first getting started, and his blog is fun to read too.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Thanks! Yeah, when I look at WP.com or Blogger again, I think, “But I can’t… [do this or that]!” I also can’t push a button and ban whichever bot or stalker I please. I can do that with .org. I don’t have to wait for them to comment, either: I can just ban them from the whole site. It’s a fun power to have. 😉

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              That’s definitely a plus, having that option. On WP.com, all you can do is delete troll posts. There may be a way to block certain IP addresses, but I’m not sure, and if so, I don’t know how to do it. I’m sorry you’ve had problems with stalkers. 😦

              Like

            • I think it works better to compare a self-hosted blog to buying a house vs. renting: So many times I wish I could just call the manager to deal with various repairs. 😛 But then, it’s nice to be able to say, I want a new stove, dang it! Or I’m not waiting for the toilet to start leaking–I want a new one now! (Couldn’t do that before.)

              Anyway, I think–after many hours of puzzlement, frustration and error messages–that I have solved my site issues through a clean install of the newest WP upgrade. (Crossing fingers.) Feel free to test it out if you like. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Yes! I remember writing to Jason (Opinionated Man) about that, comparing it to renting vs. buying! When you buy, you can tear down walls, build a sarcophagus in the bathroom, or install a Roman fountain in the living room, but when you rent you have to be happy with the plain white walls! Of course, when you rent, you don’t have all the maintenance either. So it’s exactly like that! Good luck with your new upgrade and I’ll let you know.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Correction: NOW it looks like my site is fixed! I woke up to find it acting up again. But after many hours of trial and error, I finally upgraded the theme and that seems to have fixed the problems.

              It also looks like Opinionated Man has started following my blog. And all I did was like a few posts. 😉

              Like

            • luckyotter says:

              Yes, he is very good about follow for follow. He might reblog posts of yours too. He has with quite a few of mine. That helped me get a lot more followers when I was new at this. I’m glad you got your problems worked out (for now lol)

              Liked by 1 person

            • At least I thought so. I woke up this morning and the problems were back. I’m about ready to go back to Blogger. 😛

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Blogger, ugh. WordPress has a much nicer community I think. But I understand your frustration and you should do whatever you need to do. I hope you stay with WP though.

              Like

            • Waiting to see if it was just Wordfence turning the faulty firewall back on when I re-installed it. In any case, I have accounts on both Blogger and WP, and I’m not limited to whose blog I can visit. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Wordfence? 😕

              Oh, and I just noticed — thanks for adding me to your blogroll 🙂 I’d add yours, but I have a little cleaning up to do first. I have so many links it takes forever to load and a lot of them are out of date or no longer even exist.
              Obviously I’m getting on your blog now ok.

              Like

            • Wordfence is a security plugin to keep the hackers and botnets out. But they also added a firewall which defaults to “on” when you install it, but breaks my site.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Oh, that sucks. 😦

              Liked by 1 person

            • BTW, you can check out my latest post again: I re-published it. I took it down when it looked like my site was working again, but the occasional hiccups are driving me crazy. I’m a writer, not a techie. I want to spend time on my content. 😛

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              I don’t blame you one bit! That shite would drive me up the wall.

              Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: 11 ways blogging has changed my life. – Down the Rabbit Hole

  5. dray0308 says:

    Reblogged this on DREAM BIG DREAM OFTEN and commented:
    One of my favorite follows…Lucky Otter’s Haven!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yoshiko says:

    I do agree. Even I feel that I improve well with writing blogs though not as often as now. Because I go through writer’s block with my other piled up poetry.

    Even I thank the Lord to bless with such ability.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Roos Ruse says:

    All are great reasons – but especially the blogging community. Congratulations on another milestone. You’ve done well ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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