I don’t need your damn fake apologies.

I’m still not taking any of their crap. It’s time to roll this ball out of the back of the closet and toss it around again.

Lucky Otters Haven

narc_apologies

My sociopathic ex was never sorry for anything. Oh, yes, he “apologized” sometimes, but it was only to get me to shut up or because he knew he’d already lost the argument or knew I was right (but he wasn’t really sorry.) It was insulting how stupid he must have thought I was to believe these “apologies” were sincere.

Unless they are incredibly good actors and are hoovering you (trying to reel you back in, like a Hoover vacuum sucks up dirt) or love-bombing you (stalking you as prey), no apology coming out of a narc’s mouth is going to sound sincere. Of course, it’s easy to fall for those “sincere” apologies when they’re feeling needy, but there are always other red flags you can look for, such as crowding you, moving too fast, or trash-talking all their exes (make no mistake, he or she will eventually trash-talk you too).

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3 thoughts on “I don’t need your damn fake apologies.

  1. Fake appologies -> ‘Game’ – as in ‘game the system’, ‘social / corporate gamesmanship’, ‘game theory’, ‘it’s all a game to them’.

    Yep. Game. Deadly serious business. Deception. Manipulation. Empathy (no, not a misuse of the word. I’m referring to the capacity to ‘discern the thoughts, intents, and feelings of another, whether FOR GOOD OR FOR ILL’.)

    Those who lack the last capacity – those who cannot ‘mind-read’ – might not be able to do the good portions (I sometimes wonder just WHAT these are..?) – but they cannot do the BAD portions, either.

    Normdom conveniently forgets that – or DOES it? As in ‘such ***Objects*** cannot effectively fight back, in addition to registering as ‘subhuman and defective’ at the unconscious level? As in not merely ‘easy meals’ (socially speaking) but also ‘risk-free meals’?

    Makes me wonder if Normdom isn’t just simply a predatory collective whose members are all
    narcs / spaths *at some level*. Ugh!

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  2. Oh my gosh- it is scary how many of those I have heard. I never understood why his apologies leave me very frustrated. I kept thinking “what’s wrong with me? He apologized; shouldn’t I feel better?” The familiar ones are 2,3,10,11, 14, 16 (I’m sorry I yelled at you, but you made me do it) 19, 20, 21, 22, and 23. Another couple I have heard is “I’m sorry but that’s only your opinion.” This has me totally invalidated as if my opinion/feelings are unreasonable; it is VERY insulting to me. My N also combines some of the fakes into one- “I’m sorry if you feel that way, but if you had only said it differently then we wouldn’t be arguing.” This list is very eye opening and really woke me up!

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