Will I ever stop blogging about narcissism?

end_of_the_road

So far, I’ve been blogging about narcissism for 5 months, and I haven’t run out of things to say about it. I’m still writing and reading as much as I can about it, because doing so helps me to deal with my past and the MNs who tried to destroy me. I feel like this topic still has many more nooks and crannies for me to explore before I say enough’s enough.

But there will probably come a time when I either feel ready to move on in my life and focus on other things besides a devastating mental disorder, or simply can’t think of anything new to say about it. At that point I will need to make a decision: do I keep this blog going and move the focus from narcissism onto something else, or do I rehash old ideas I haven’t brought up in a while because of the continuing need for our voices to be heard and for our presence to be felt on the web?

Fivehundredpoundpeep wrote a post talking about the disappearance of blogs by ACONs. Many of the most well known blogs by ACONs went inactive years ago. She says that, according to Mother Jones, blogs in general are losing popularity due to social media (especially Facebook) taking over everything. I certainly hope she is wrong about that! Social media mainly sucks, in my humble opinion. I won’t get into my rant about THAT right now. My anti-Facebook listicle came close enough.

Peep speculates that after a while, survivors of narcissistic abuse simply run out of steam or new ideas, and also that as they get stronger, they may not have a need to blog about narcissism anymore. One of the most well-known and beloved narc bloggers, Anna Valerious of Narcissists Suck, hadn’t posted anything since 2012, but reappeared and wrote a post on December 30th explaining that she abandoned her blog because it was time to start focusing on the positive instead of spending so much time exploring such a negative, dark thing as NPD. She had also run out of things to say about it.

That’s why I post about other topics as well as narcissism. I have many followers who aren’t ACONs and don’t care that much about narcissism–they are following this blog for other reasons. My posts are somewhat eclectic; I’m estimating only about 75%-80% of them are related to narcissism. That’s still a lot, but leaves my options open if I decide at some point to shift my focus to another topic.

If I blogged 100% about narcissism, my followers wouldn’t like it if I suddenly decided to start blogging about music or backyard chickening or antique salt and pepper shakers. But because I already post about just about anything that concerns me or interests me, I could switch focus without too much of an upheaval, especially if this becomes a general purpose blog (that has no focus other than being a running commentary on whatever topic is on my mind at the moment).

But for now, my focus is still on narcissism (and to a lesser extent, being Aspie). I feel like it’s a necessary service. We need a voice, and other victims need to know they are not alone, that there is a whole community of us out there on the web, boldly and bravely speaking out and gaining courage and self esteem as we do so.

So while things may eventually change, I think it will still be quite a while before I abandon narcissism as this blog’s primary focus.

21 thoughts on “Will I ever stop blogging about narcissism?

  1. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    You should write what interests you. I like reading you whatever subject it is. May want to branch out if something strikes your fancy but if this is still fascinating why not dig deeper into it. It really is a fascinating subject. I mean really isn’t Shades of Gray written about an ultimate narcissistic sadist and his masochistic victim? That seems to have not lost it’s fans.

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    • I agree NPD is a many faceted topic and there are so many differing theories about it. It also has a spiritual element which allows me to explore the metaphysical/paranormal aspects of this disorder. So I think it will be a long time before this topic loses steam for me, if it ever does at all. Eventually my aim is to write a book.

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      • Maybe your posts should be geared toward that end. I find your writings really interesting. Perhaps you might look into how one becomes a narcissist nature or nurture. I did read that we are born basically narcissistic perhaps some never get past that stage. I find sociopaths fascinating too. Really there are so many facets and so many different kinds.

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        • I seem to be most fascinated lately with how a narcissist becomes one and how/if they can ever be healed.
          Yes, babies are born narcissistic because they can’t see themselves as separated from others or feel any empathy. If they’re hungry or wet or tired or cranky, all they care about is having those needs met.

          Narcissists are adult babies who never outgrew infancy and just like a baby, they can’t see others as separate from themselves or care about how anyone feels. Like babies, all they care about is having their needs met.

          Sociopaths/psychopaths are fascinating (and after all these months I’m still confused about the exact difference between a psychopath and sociopath). I used to read a lot of books and watch a lot of movies and shows about serial killers–I had an unhealthy Aspie obsession with them for awhile!

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  2. Dear luckyotter
    Really glad to have found your page, believe me!! And good on you for wanting to write a book..
    It is so refreshing to find others here who feel they are obsessed with writing about this stuff, (I thought there was something ELSE wrong with me!!)
    My abusive relationship with ex Narc ended almost a year ago, but that wasn’t the last I ever heard from him, there were several calls over the past year, out of the blue and usually just when I was starting to move on and heal from the last contact attempts, either by him or though his family coming to me, (not my choice).
    As things are now, he has managed to pass on more hurt through his Sister In-law, just before Xmas, who approached me at my workplace where I run my business. Ironically, his Sister In-law was never a big fan of my ex before now, and was always quite nasty and cynical about him to me, especially since he was unemployed for 6 years, (4 with me).
    She suddenly now thinks he is wonderful again, (he has finally got a job complete with accommodation provided, ideal for him since he would never fund his own). She also hastened to tell me before I could escape it, that he has ‘met his match’, his new lady is apparently a Psychiatrist who is ‘keeping him in line’, and how he ‘just wanted to get away from everything and everyone’, before telling me almost exactly (but not quite) where he is working/living.
    This really set me back, because while I was pleased that he finally found employment, I didn’t want to know about his love life, just as I would not make sure he found out about mine, (not that I have or want one after my experiences with him).
    I have a feeling that ex wanted me to find out about his new love/employment, as yet another kick in the stomach so to speak, so passed on the information with the intent it would reach me.
    I also have the feeling that Sister In-law knew she was hurting me by telling me too, because she knew how hurt I had been and how much I had loved him, and how heartbroken at his refusal to seek help and ruin our relationship with every breath.
    All these things happening have stalled my healing process so many times, and sent me spiralling back into depressions/funks, I felt like I never had the chance to move on properly or fully grieve it until after that news.
    Basically, knowing that he is in another relationship means he wont try and contact me again, and I can finish grieving properly, (but who really knows with them?)
    Still, I am angry that such a dangerous and abusive man, can con yet another woman into a relationship, and a Psychiatrist at that. It has left me wondering how he met her so quickly between his contacts via mobile phone with me over the past year. His last contact with me was in mid August last year, and between then and November he found a job and a new lady seemingly.
    Why am I sitting around stewing about how he met her, and how she being a Psychiatrist could be so easily conned?
    Was he her patient at some stage? All these questions that I shouldn’t be bothered about any longer are swirling around in my head. I even started Googling Farm Stays in the area his Sister In-law told me about, trying to find his workplace and perhaps the Psychiatrist he is dating. Stupid I know, because I don’t want to get back with him and had plenty of chances to last year, but I remained firm and strong, (even though I wasn’t really underneath it all).
    Why am I still occasionally obsessed with all this stuff?
    It annoys me that I am, whilst he seemingly moves on with his great new life, it also didn’t help that he brainwashed me into thinking that it was my fault we weren’t having a great life together, and how he was miserable all the time because he was with me. I never blamed him for my problems, but I did tell him that he should take responsibility for fixing his own baggage.
    Like I said, my biggest bug bear is that he is so messed up and damaged, yet manages to move on like everything is wonderful now. I know I know, it likely isn’t really, even if she is a Psychiatrist, but it is still totally unfair and sucks big time.
    Thanks for listening to my rather long post, guess I can say that this really messed me up to the point that I don’t know if I ever want another relationship ever again.
    I am presently 46 years old, single with 2 grown children, (ex is 47 and without children). What do you think? Anger is still foremost in my grieving at present.

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    • Robyn,
      I almost missed your post. Sorry for the late reply.
      First of all, thanks for finding me and this blog, and I hope you stick around. šŸ™‚

      About your situation:
      I would be angry too. You have every right to be angry, and in these situations anger is healthy and pro-active.

      From my own experience, male narcs (who aren’t the commitment-phobic type), are clingy and demanding of attention to the point you can’t breathe, but if you leave them or deny them supply or make them look bad, you can bet they will (a) obtain a new source of supply ASAP; and (b) make sure you know about it. They do that to punish you. They are sadistic and want you to hurt, especially if they think you have hurt them (denied them supply).

      So she’s a psychiatrist. That’s interesting and I also wonder if she was his therapist. She’s obviously intelligent and may realize pretty quick what a tool this guy is and leave him. Then again she may not. Mental health professionals have been fooled by narcissists before, especially if they fall under their spell. Is your ex very charismatic? Is he a magnet for women? He’s using that to his advantage.

      It’s natural you would feel hurt, even though you don’t want to be with him again. But his new woman is just going to wind up being his next victim (unless she leaves him). After the love-bombing phase, he’ll revert to victimizing her, or attempting to.
      Narcissists like him can’t love anyone, and he’s using her because right now she’s a new source of narcissistic supply. And he’s going to rub it in your face because that’s what narcs do. I’d be mad as hell. It’s happened to me before. But he’s not going to change. The best revenge is to not let on that it bothers you.
      Boo on your sister in law for betraying you too. She sounds like a narc too.

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  3. I hope blogs aren’t losing popularity. I’ve been enjoying them too much. I’m afraid of quitting blogging, because I’m maliciously bent to be an ACON, and I need a lot of reading, writing, support, to have a somewhat stable life. To me, blogs are a lifeline.

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    • I agree, Joan. I hope they aren’t either. But it seems like there are a lot of active blogs so maybe Mother Jones is wrong. They sure have been a lifeline for me,and inspired me to start my own. I did a lot of reading other blogs (and books too) before I started my own blog.
      I’ve missed you, BTW.

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