Lets laugh at the narcs.

I actually have a tab in my header about this. We need to laugh at narcs.
I just stumbled on this website though, and there are some great jokes here about narcissists. Narcs may be tragic, but they also deserve to be laughed at and that can make us feel better too. I’m adding this link to my tab because these jokes are great.



There are very few groups of people whom you can tell jokes about these days, that aren’t considered ethnic, racial, gender or some other kind of Protected Class from prejudicial discrimination. No more Polish Jokes. Please!!!

Can we still get away with telling Lawyer Jokes?

But, here, thanks to Newsvine, I have discovered a category that is, I think, perfectly fine for sharing jokes about.

And the category is: Narcissists! πŸ˜‰

If you don’t know what a Narcissist is, then here, read this:

Dictionary definition:

narcissism – noun – excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.

Psychology extreme selfishness,
with a grandiose view of one’s own talents
and a craving for admiration, as
characterizing a personality type.

Psychoanalysis self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

DERIVATIVES – narcissist – noun – narcissistic – adjective – narcissistically – adverb

ORIGIN early 19th cent.: via Latin from the Greek name Narkissos (see Narcissus ) + -ism.

And, if you still aren’t sure, you could go to this site for a quick explanation:

(The Narcissistic Pastor: 10 signs that you may be one | Pastor Charles Stone

So, is it okay to joke about Narcissists?

Why the hell not!!!

Here are some narcissist jokes I found during a very quick search of the net. Hope you enjoy them. If you’re at all offended, then maybe you are a ———. I hope not, for your sake!!! Have you got a good Narcissist joke or story you’d like to tell?

The Jokes:

1. How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

2. A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house!

3. What do a narcissist and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being

4. My husband and I divorced for religious reasons.
He thought he was God and I didn’t

5. How do you drown a narcissist?
Answer: Put a mirror at the bottom of the swimming pool.

6. What do you call a narcissist buried in sand up to his neck?
A. A good start
B. Not enough sand

7. Why won’t a vampire attack a narcissist?
Answer: Professional courtesy

8. Every narcissistic man wants a woman he can look down on.

9. There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.

10. The narcissist says: I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

11. The narcissist says: Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

12. How does a narcissist sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

13. How can you tell when a narcissist is lying?
His lips are moving.

14. What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a narcissist?
An offer you can’t understand.

15. What is the difference between a catfish and a narcissist?
One’s a bottom-crawling scum sucker, and the other’s just a fish.

16. What do you call an honest narcissist?
An impossibility.

17. Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.

18. The narcissist says: Really, I’m the most appealing, sexy, charming, wonderful, most intelligent man walking the face of the earth. Ask all those b****es who left me!

19. A man goes to a Psychologist and says, “Doc I got a real problem, I can’t stop thinking about sex.” The Psychologist says, “Well let’s see what we can find out”, and pulls out his ink blots. “What is this a picture of?” he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, “That’s a man and a woman on a bed making love.” The Psychologist says, “very interesting,” and shows the next picture. “And what is this a picture of?” The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, “That’s a man and a woman on a bed making love.” The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, “What is this a picture of?” The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, “That’s a man and a woman on a bed making love.” The Psychologist states, “Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex.” “Me!?” demands the patient. “You’re the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!”

20. A Narcissist’s wife goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 10 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The woman says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

21. A priest, a teacher, a millionaire, and a narcissist were golfing together. As they walked the course, they came up behind a foursome that was moving very slowly, and that didn’t offer to let them play through. Calling over the club pro, the foursome inquired about the poor sportsmanship of the slow group. The pro explained that the slow golfers were blind. The priest said, Oh, bless them, I will keep them in my prayers. The teacher said, I will tell my students how inspiring they are. The millionaire said, I will offer to pay their greens fees for the year. The narcissist said, Why can’t they play at night?

CoH and NUA rules apply. Sorry but Narcissists are not recognized as a Protected Class under any of the anti-discrimination laws on the United States. If you have a problem with these jokes, then you probably shouldn’t read them. This is all for funs and giggles, so just go with the flow okay?

20 thoughts on “Lets laugh at the narcs.

  1. “Mirror, mirror, which I see – who is the person most like me?”

    One of the foremost thoughts in a NPS head.

    On a more serious (?) note, this means that NPS are always out for worshipers / slaves / dung-containers.

    Therefore, what is the ***best*** place for an NP?

    Why, a detached ‘privy’ (outhouse) lined with mirrors. Oh, no TP, either – ‘o theos – will be too lost in self-admiration to use said stinkhole for its more usual role (roll?). Finally, once said ‘faux-magician is inside, then put a chair against the door…

    Fireworks will be happening once ‘o theos gets done with his subliminal ‘chanting’.

    note: ‘o theos is new testament Greek for “the god.”

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