Why?

I just can’t comprehend the psychopathic mind, no matter how hard I try to understand why they think the way they do.

The world sucks enough as it is. There is already too much suffering, hatred, intolerance and misery on this small sad planet, and precious little joy, peace and love.

Why?

Why would anyone want to walk on the side of evil and darkness? Why would anyone want to see bad things happen to others or cause their suffering and misery? Why would anyone take JOY in another’s suffering? Why would anyone think empathy was a sign of weakness? Or remorse an admission of failure?

Why would anyone want to destroy the small, helpless and vulnerable things of this world, the way the psychopathic bounty hunter does in “Raising Arizona”?

I don’t get it. I will never get it.
And why are there SO MANY OF THEM?
WHY?

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15 thoughts on “Why?

  1. My child psychology professor and I had a discussion about this during a gift exchange we do every year near Christmas, this time at Panera Bread. One theory is that they are wired that way from the time they’re born. Certain parts of the brain, that control emotion, like the amygdala (sp?) don’t light up, in psychopaths, like they do in normal brains. Also, they don’t sweat when they see a video of, for example a natural disaster affecting a town. They don’t show emotion. Chemical imbalances in serotonin and dopamine may also play a role in the lack of empathy shown. Environment may play a factor. If a young person isn’t shown how to feel empathy for others, then how else will they learn?

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    • I’ve read about those studies too. There is definitely a biological component. I’ve seen the brain studies. But I think it can be overridden by teaching empathy and morals at a very early age. They may still have a tendency to be narcissistic, but it won’t develop fully and they can learn to be decent people.

      Some people do have a predisposition for this disorder, but I don’t believe in “bad seeds”–kids who were born evil and cannot be influenced by proper modeling and teaching.

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  2. “….A sociopath does not need nor want help, it’s an altered way of thinking, not a condition”.

    As it was told to me by a sociopath, when I was having a very difficult time understanding my ex-husband. Sadly, it makes sense. Oddly, when I deal with him, I review this quote beforehand, and I have a easier time dealing with him.

    NIBSIH, πŸ˜”

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    • Interesting. There’s actually a theory that sociopathy/psychopathy may be an evolutionary strategy that was adaptive before we became sentient and civilized (as it works for lower animals and especially reptiles). It seems to work surprisingly well today, since there is a high rate of psychopathy among extremely successful people. So it may not really be a disorder.
      I wrote a post about it here: https://otterlover58.wordpress.com/2014/11/23/narcissism-is-good-no-you-didnt-read-that-wrong/

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      • Sigh, I have heard something to this effect, where most highly powerful and successful people have these traits, but so do seriel murders. In order to deal with my ex, you have to play “the game” as I call it. I dont like to play, he has to feel as though he is getting over on me, in reality, he’s not, because I don’t care, he lies about everything, anyway. I feign interest, so he feels super important, talk over. Utterly, ridiculous!
        NIBSIH! 😝

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          • We were married for 8 years, he was the man I would of stayed with forever, he drained my bank accounts during the course of our marriage, dropped his mask, and left me for his new supply in a year. 2007, we have children together, or else I would never have a reason to deal with him ever. He is still angry because he keeps “all his ex’s” well not me, so I suffer financial abuse from him as well. Its all good, 6 years, 6 months 7 days until my son is 18! πŸŽ‰, I had NO CLUE, he was cheating on me, he also has alcohol, addiction, gambling problems. I just really loved him, when I found out he was cheating, I was done. Then over the years, I figured out, I loved a fake person, he didnt exist, and the real person, is cold heartless and evil. The “black eyes” you talk about, both he and my mother have them, souless evil eyes, with no whites at all. Eyes truly are the windows to the soul, neither one of them have one.

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  3. Just another insight into my ridiculous life, he patterns his cycle, 3 or 3 1/2 years, new wife or girlfriend, same MO, drains them financially then has a new supply and moves in with the new. I guess I had more money then the others, lucky me! Oh and I get the same speech “(my name), Do me a favor don’t tell (new girl) anything about me, okay”. As if! What’s funny, why does he think I am sympathetic to his stupidity when he gets dumped? These women all think I am his “crazy B first wife”. What’s worse, my name is still tattoo’d on him, in the middle of his chest, really? Super creepy, and no wonder they all hate me! 07 was a very long time ago!

    NIBSIH ~ have a great weekend

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    • Wow, you have been through the wringer with this thoroughly evil malignant narcissist. It’s too bad you had children together — it’s good you’re no longer married to the a-hole, but you do need to find a way, somehow to go No Contact. He is triangulating against you and playing gaslighting games and telling lies about you to these other women, who he will just use and throw away like so much garbage too. I’m fairly new to recovery myself (having lived with a MN for 28 years–7 of those years we were divorced and the asshole was mooching off me and at the same time giving my daughter drugs and recruiting her and evreyone else we knew to be his flying monkeys to use against me. Of course, I was the crazy one, the one with mental problems, the stupid one and even the narcissist. That’s what he convinced everyone I was. He was projecting his own sickness and character defects onto me (and also on our son, who escaped). . I finally got a restraining order after he attacked my daughter–it took an act of violence to finally give me the courage to take some kind of action. I was scared to death, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my daughter.
      Most towns and cities have crisis abuse hotlines and there are “safe houses” you can even go to temporarily if you must. If he continues to bother you, you can try a restraining order. But it sounds like he has already ruined your finances and your self esteem. Please get some help before it’s too late and he takes away everything you have left. They can, and they will if they are given a chance.
      I clicked on your name and it looks like your blog was deleted or doesn;t exist. Is there a reason for that? Blogging has helped me tremendously. Even talking to other survivors through comments on other blogs can be helpful–that’s how I started. If you can afford a good trauma therapist , you should look into that too. (I can’t afford one so I just blog about everything and that’s my therapy).
      Sorry this was so long. You can always email me too, check under “contact me.” My computer is restarting now so gotta run.
      Good luck!

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      • NormalisboringsoIheard: Sorry about the run on paragraphs and typos above, but I was trying to hurry before my computer shut down to install updates. One more thing I want to add, please check the list of resources and information (Info and Support tab) in the green header. There are many books and blogs there that have been very helpful to me. Read as many books and blogs as you can about narcissism and survivors of narcissistic abuse. Any of the ones in my list have been helpful to me. I’m sure there ae alot of others too. There’s about a gazillion blogs about narcissistic abuse on the Internet; the ones I listed I think are the best but I’m sure i missed other good ones too. There’s no way I have been able to see all of them.
        I’ll be praying for you and your kids, that you can all free yourselves from this psychopath.

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  4. I tried to send you a email, which is another reason why I don’t blog, I am not Techie, among other things, so you have my email address, if you want to email me back? Don’t laugh, I have a beautiful lap top, my 11 year old has to help me with! I know its sooo sad!

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    • I’m not laughing. I delayed starting a blog for years because I thought it would be too hard, lol. It really isn’t hard at all, and I am in no way shape or form a techie!
      One day I just decided i needed to start a blog to help myself and was surprised how easy it reallyis.
      I will check my email. I may not answer immediately, I am pretty bad about that lol! But I will reply.

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