My Story

Photo of me in 1976, somewhere in upstate New York.

Some people have expressed a wish to read my entire story of narcissistic abuse, but the posts I have so far about this aren’t in any logical order, and as my blog gets bigger (and it will get unwieldy soon because I’m writing several posts a day) my memoirs may become difficult to find.

Problem solved!   Here I’m going to provide a sort of “table of contents” (really just links) to make it easier for people to read about my journey raised by and then married to narcissistic people. I’m also including certain posts about my journey to wellness because that’s a big part of my story too.

In addition to a list of my articles describing my experience of narcissistic abuse, I’m also including a subheader about my path to God and Christianity, since that has been every bit as important a part of this long journey.

Oh, and I write about a lot of other things too, so there’s something here for everyone. Enjoy your stay.


48 Responses to My Story

  1. I thought I would let you know on your blogroll that 2.A Good Blog is Hard to Find is my old blog. I don’t write there anymore… unfortunately ran out of time! =\

    Liked by 2 people

  2. voicewilderness1 says:

    Hello I’m also an Asperger person who was the scapegoat of a narc mom. You and Alaina gave me the courage to tell my story. Here is my first post about my real story:


  3. Alaina says:

    Your links aren’t here anymore. 😦


  4. Luckyotter,

    You have a lot to contribute. Thank you for your support.


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hello and welcome aboard my blog. Thanks for the follow. I hope there are things herein that you like.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi

    I have nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award, its purely volunterly and if you do want to do it then you can find all the details here:

    Liked by 2 people

  7. CW says:

    Hi Luckyotter,

    Just wondering… given your time spent with a MN ex-husband and growing up with a MN mother, did you ever feel like you were infected with evil, most noticeably during a “breakdown”?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Tom says:

    As a narcissist (NPD – self diagnosed, who would have guessed?). I like you LuckyOtter. Although you give us that same damn “narcs are evil” brush that other websites love, you still try to look and explain things in a way others don’t. So kudos to you.

    I may never get better, but god damn, you give me supply (and make me feel happy about myself :D)

    Think we can ever get better?

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Hi Tom, thank you for your kind remarks.
      Yes, if you read my “mission” page you will see that I do indeed take a different approach than most other narc-abuse sites. As someone who was diagnosed BPD and believed I was for many years (and still may be for all I know) it’s hard for me to make a black and white division between the “narcs”/cluster B’s and the victims. People who think know that abusers became abusers because they were victims themselves. They may not be as amenable to treatment and yes they should be avoided at all costs, but at the end of the day, we were all damaged because of abuse. What needs to be done is to put a stop to abuse and then the narcissism and BPD and complex PTSD and other issues victims develop because of abuse– they all go away and we’ll all be better off.
      I dislike all the stigma out there against NPD and cluster B disorders and mental illness in general. That being said, I do NOT condone what narcs do or encourage continued association with them!

      Getting better? It depends on you. If you feel like your narcissism has served you well and made your life more successful (many do) then probably not. If you are a malignant or sociopathic narcissist, probably not. Lower on the spectrum, I think it’s possible if the isnight AND the desire to change are both there. Even if a cure isn’t available, CBT can change behaviors and help you be more mindful.


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  10. Thank you for your follow. You’ve clearly overcome a great deal, yourself. Wishing you all the best, A. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. Sat. 9/3/16 6:13pm. Eastern
    Your green background is gone (white now). It was there earlier today. Mine has been missing for a while now (tho’ and flashing back for a day or two all by itself). I notified the “Happiness Engineers” of the problem and heard nothing back, but perhaps they’ll take a look at what’s going on with their code if a few others complain as well.

    Don’t let them tell you that it’s something about your site code. You have my permission to use this comment if you have to.
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I know this is your blog and I don’t want to take that away from you but do you ever have guest bloggers? I don’t have a job currently and I would really like some experience as a guest blogger and hopefully get a resume together and someday get paid to blog. I do have a lot experience with abuse and I was born in the Netherlands and I want to know if you would interested learning about how I suffered with someone that I think has this disorder especially coming from an immigrant perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I just happened to be up when your comment came through. I would love it if you’d write a guest post for this blog! There’s no set length or word count — just keep it a reasonable length. Please send your draft to my email:
      Please send it in text format (not as a Word attachment). Looking forward to reading your post. Feel free to include a picture or graphic if you like. If not that’s okay too, I will pick one for it. Thanks for your interest! 🙂


  14. Thank you so much this is awesome. It is 6:28 am by me right now. May I ask where you are from so I can check the time zone difference. I don’t know how you get your e-mail but if you get it by phone I don’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night. I am living in Minnesota born in the Netherlands and moved to Germany and then the U.S. I think I need to go to bed now.


  15. So interesting. I have learned so much reading your blog. Terms and information I have never heard before. I love to find blogs with purpose and that can teach me something new.

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. What you went through was nothing short of atrocious. While my mother is not narcissistic I do have a narcissistic stepfather who have been very abusive to me. What your family did to you is not only atrocious and inhumane but is likely illegal due to the fact that they are discriminating against you because of your Asperger’s.

    as a fellow Aspie I have seen and dealt with my fair share of abuse mostly from the males of my house. School was much worse even where I was not only frequently beaten but was actually punished for being beaten up due to constantly flexing my rights and talking back to the teacher who was discriminating against me and scapegoating me.

    I think more than anyone you deserve your family’s inheritance the fact that they disinherited you is as I mentioned earlier probably an act of discrimination and you need to show your family that you will know longer be abused and that disinheriting you is the last straw.

    just look for any lawyer who will help people with disabilities whose families discriminated against just look for any lawyer who will help people with disabilities whose families discriminated against them.

    Perhaps an even bigger Shane will come to your narcissistic family if you take your story to a news organization like Dr. Phil or the Oprah Winfrey show.

    your story will touch the hearts of millions of Americans, especially Americans who have disabilities who are misunderstood by everyone around them.
    Your story will touch the hearts of millions of Americans, especially Americans who have disabilities who are misunderstood by everyone around them.
    Also I like your pro left stance as I am a fellow libertarian socialist.

    Libertarian socialist. Best wishes to you.


    Arthur Yagudayev


    • luckyotter says:

      I need to change this. I found out I actually do not have Aspergers — I was self diagnosed but my “Aspie” symptoms were actually due to CPTSD and BPD. But thank you for the rest of your comments. 🙂


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