Sunrise 11/1/17

This is what I saw on my way to work yesterday morning.    Unfortunately, the day went downhill from there.

sunrise11217

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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6 Responses to Sunrise 11/1/17

  1. Yvonne says:

    Thats a beautiful photo. Thank you also for your blog, I have unwittingly had relationships with several narcissists, we seem fatally attracted to one another. The last man, who i have just broken up with, my intuition told me run run run. My dog never warmed to him, ever. It took a while for the rest of me to catch up, I am getting better at recognizing the signs. But oooh he lovebombed me, I felt like he was the most sensitive, caring man in the world. Yet, I started to feel that something was missing within him, I started to sense that he was just performing. I grew aware that he never laughed or smiled. Then he started humiliating me in front of his friends and the put downs and devaluing began. We broke up, it was messy, he sent me a lot of mixed messages, i blamed myself, but at the same time I knew, i just knew there was there was a puzzle in his very being, that I had to figure out, more for my own sanity, as to who he really was underneath. I was beginning to realise that there seemed an emptiness within, at odds with the words he was saying. It felt so weird to sense that. Its all so insidious, you feel like you are going completely mad. So I turned to this forum and it started to make sense, it all started to make sense. I cried with relief, I have had no contact with him, I cant, I dont want to get sucked back into that vortex ever again. I have to try to keep myself safe from these men, there have been too many. They sell you a dream of love, real love, and connection, they tell you they are good and feeling and honourable people, they tell you everything you want to hear, in fact, they never stop talking. You are rendered mute. Its so awful because what is within them, feels like a vaccum.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Hi Yvonne,
      You’re absolutely right — they sell you a dream and then bait and switch on you. Good for you for escaping and I’m glad you’re finding my blog of help! It’s only uphill from here.

      Like

      • Yvonne says:

        Thank you lucky otter, im grieving a lot at the moment, it helps to cry, Not so much for him anymore, even though I cant help feeling sorry for him, he did have a very damaged childhood, and i could at times see glimpses of the sensitive boy within, i felt very tender towards him at those times. But the mask always won. Im grieving for the loss of the promise of love and acceptance that i thought he offered, i thought we had a bond of intimacy and love, he was that good at acting. Until he wasnt. The contempt came out. It was all revealed to be a lie, a falsehood. Its sad for me, yes, but also for him, and his fresh prey. No contact, Yvonne, no contact.

        Liked by 1 person

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