Email and me.

email-delay

This isn’t really my philosophy, but I just liked the cartoon.

I have a terrible problem.   I am absolutely awful when it come to responding to emails.  I procrastinate forever.  So far this week, THREE people thought I was ignoring them or wasn’t interested in what they had to say, because they had sent several emails and I hadn’t responded.  (I finally did today and feel a lot better).

It’s true that I do get a lot of email, and can’t answer every one of them in a timely fashion.  It’s also true I get a lot of spam email and opening my in box and picking out the spam from the legit stuff can be a chore.   Maybe that’s part of the reason why I procrastinate.

Also, I was locked out of my email for three days last week and finally had to set a new password to get in.  Remembering passwords is something I will always be bad at, and for that reason I learned the hard way to never erase my entire history because that means I have to log into everything again and I always forget my passwords.  Even though I try to use the same password for every account I have (not recommended!), somehow there is still at least one account I can’t for the life of me remember the password for.  In fact, that’s how I got locked out of my email.  I erased my history and forgot my password!  😳

But I digress.  I suck at answering emails.  It’s not because I don’t like you, or have any beef with you, or because I’m not interested in what you have to say.   I’m just really bad with this particular method of communicating (phones are another — I can’t stand them) and I really have no idea why.  It’s not that much work to answer an email — it just seems so clunky and inefficient somehow.

Now, if you follow me on Twitter, I’ll probably talk to you so much you will get sick of me! I’m a Twitterholic.  I’ve had people actually unfollow me on Twitter because I talk too much there!  I know not everyone loves social media (and frankly, I hate most of it, especially Facebook), but I loooooovvve Twitter, so if you follow me there, I won’t be ignoring you.  If you want to talk privately, you can DM me.

Or just comment here — I try to reply to all my comments, or at least Like them so you know I read them, even if I have nothing new to add.   I also share all my posts to Twitter (they get auto-posted), so if you follow me there, you will never miss a new post.  My Twitter feed is in the sidebar, and you can just follow me from there too, if you already have an account.

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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13 Responses to Email and me.

  1. I’m just as bad. I currently have more than 1000 e-mails in my inbox because it’s too much trouble to go through them all. The most important stuff has been dealt with already, but there’s sooooo much generic mass-mailing from plugin developers, shopping sites, church, etc. Much of the junk goes to my trash folder, and I have all sorts of filters which have made it easier to find the important stuff, but a lot is still sitting waiting to be deleted or sorted. Every once in a while, I go through and start sorting and deleting, but not often.

    I also envy you your comment “likes.” I had to install a plugin to do that, but I don’t think it tells anybody their comment was “liked.” Maybe it’s because I can’t turn on the Jetpack function that lets people comment using other social media accounts (spam plugin conflict). 😛

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who has this problem! Yes, going through all the junk mail and spam to find the legit stuff can sure be time consuming! So lots of days i just don’t want to deal with it at all and don’t even log in to my email. It’s a bad habit.
      As for the Like plug in thing, that’s why I’m glad I’m on WP.com. I know it has its disadvantages and you don’t have the same freedom you do if you’re self hosted, but all that tech stuff is already done for me, all I have to do is add the widget from the list and voila! Like magic, it’s there.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Only? Oh no, not by a l-o-n-g shot!! I don’t even apologize for it anymore – it’s all become too much. I just set the boundary.

        I tell people that if they really want to reach me, leave a comment on my blog. That’s the one thing I regularly keep up with IF AT ALL possible (and, since I must approve all comments, a “Don’t Post” or “Private” notice at the top will keep it between us). I can’t dedicate time to “penpal” relationships, however, no matter how much I adore you. I don’t get why folks don’t/can’t/won’t get that.

        If you are REALLY my friend, lets talk on the phone in real time. Why would you insist that I participate in the chronic distraction of emails — or, even worse texts with stupid things that attempt to pass for relating anymore. Them: “Thinking of you” Me: [hunt & peck] thanks, miss you too. Them: “How are things?” — Oh nooooooo. GIVE ME A BREAK!

        I touch type almost 70 words a minute, write, blog, and develop free content that still takes hours every single day — in addition to training & coaching by phone to keep a roof over my head (with little “off” time to have an actual LIFE) – and NOW you want me to hunt and peck with my thumbs squinting at a t-tiny screen because you don’t like me enough to dedicate time for a legitimate conversation? Or sift through screen-loads of eglut marketing spam to see if *maybe* I missed an email from you and hurt your feelings?

        And somehow it’s MY bad if I don’t want to play? [But tell us, Madelyn, how do your *really* feel about it?] 🙂 🙂 🙂
        xx,
        mgh
        (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
        – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
        “It takes a village to transform a world!”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m a little addicted to email 😆 I don’t think I’m following you on Twitter, I think I need to now! I don’t log on that much so I probably won’t think you talk too much 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bradley says:

    We’re opposites. I check and read my emails obsessively throughout the day. I’m just as obsessive on Facebook. I’ve been on Twitter quite a bit, but I have tried not to become too active because the last thing I need is to be hooked on that too.

    Like

  4. Talking on the telephone is the worst. My hearing is unreliable, and not being able to see someone’s face when they’re talking just makes it worse. I usually miss at least half of what the other person is saying. I get sick of asking people to repeat things and I’m sure they get sick of me asking. Email at least eliminates the hearing-related problems, although it has problems of its own. If it’s an email that I can respond to quickly and briefly, then I’m fine; it’s the ones that demand a long, complex answer that I keep putting off responding to. I always want to wait until I have time and solitude to respond to it properly, but when does that time ever come??

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I feel the same way about phones. I can’t process a conversation well if I can’t see facial expressions, body language, etc. I also, like you, have terrible hearing, AND I don’t get a good signal anyway on my phone. It’s so annoying having to contantly ask people to repeat things, and it’s probably just as annoying to them. So I avoid phones. Given a choice between email and phones, I’ll go with email any day.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. adamjasonp says:

    I pretty much gave up on my Yahoo mail over a year ago, hundreds and thousands of unread emails— mostly of WordPress posts I mean to get to but often don’t. But I have a new, more efficient, email now that am always able to see with the phone (technology is great that way, sometimes).

    I have my own reasons for preferring email over phone— social anxiety and memory troubles.

    And as far as social media goes, I don’t think I’d ever unfollow you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wolfgirl says:

    Oh gosh, I’m just the same! I used to be subscribed to about a hundred different things, so I always had a full inbox and could never be bothered to clean it out, but I cleared out my subscriptions so now at least I can see the emails I want to see. However, I’m still really bad at replying to people, especially if they sent me something long and involved that I have to think about before replying to. I’m also bad at commenting on people’s posts, even if I have something to say :blush:

    Still though, I’d rather email than talk on the phone any day. *shudder*

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I’m pretty bad at commenting on people’s posts too, and unfortunaely don’t have time to read a lot of blogs these days. I also tend to be like you — I answer the shorter emails first, because they take less time to reply to.

      Like

      • Wolfgirl says:

        Exactly, you just rattle off a sentence or two and then you’re done. But I always feel bad if I don’t comment on something, especially when I really wanted to. I always wonder if the author thinks I’m not interested (though I don’t worry much if they have plenty of other readers).

        Anyway, yeah, I’m always reading, even if I don’t always comment 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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