Something I’ve suspected for a very long time has been confirmed.
The study cited in this article could explain why wealthier (mostly upper middle class, who are still trying to achieve “upper class” status) are more likely than others to be narcissistic and have scapegoat and golden child children. I have found that many upper middle class families are extremely competitive and value material and financial success over familial compassion, a sense of “we are in this together,” and unconditional love. Of course not all of them are like this, but many are. Middle- to working-class and poor families are much more likely to stick together and try to help each other out, even when funds are lacking. This article will explain why it might bode better for your future to be the loved child of a poor family than the scapegoated or rejected child of a wealthier one. Less wealthy people tend to be more emotionally intelligent.
Here are two related articles from the same blog.
“The rich are different from you and me,” wrote F. Scott Fitzgerald in “The Rich Boy,” [Thanks, Postman] and now science is proving he was right.
Keri Chiodo of the Association for Psychological Science explains:
Upper-class people have more educational opportunities, greater financial security, and better job prospects than people from lower social classes, but that doesn’t mean they’re more skilled at everything. A new study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds surprisingly, that lower-class people are better at reading the emotions of others.
The researchers were inspired by observing that, for lower-class people, success depends more on how much they can rely on other individuals. For example, if you can’t afford to buy support services, such as daycare service for your children, you have to rely on your neighbors or relatives to watch the kids while you attend classes or run…
View original post 305 more words
Middle class folks however, just rely on their oldest to stay home and “babysit” the younger sibs while both parents work full time, turning their kids into latchkey kids.
Sorry, I know that’s not what the article is about but it’s a thought that crossed my mind as I read. It’s what my parents did and I was that oldest kid.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s definitely not fair either. But I’ve just noticed that among the upper middle class in particular (not really the wealthy or upper class because they don’t obsess as much over financial/material success or image–because they don’t have to) they are so obsessed with success and “image” that they will throw a child who doesn’t “measure up” or makes them “look bad” under the bus and even disown or reject them. I don’t see that happening as much in middle class and lower. Of course that doesn’t mean there aren’t selfish and narcissistic behaviors in ALL social classes — but I grew up in one of these image-conscious upper middle class families and I bring them shame because of my lower financial and social status so they have rejected me and turned me into a scapegoat (actually I already was one and was always denied the emotional and financial support necessary to become successful–and then got blamed for it). They also do it to kids or adult children who are truth tellers or whistle blowers, threatening to expose the family dysfunction (another insult to the “image of perfection”). I was the truth teller in my family, and was so from an early age, which is probably why I was so disliked. I know that’s going a little off topic from the reblogged article, but it’s all related. Scapegoating a child is very clearly illustrated in the movie, “Ordinary People,” with Mary Tyler Moore playing an upper middle class malignant narcissist mother who despises her sensitive son Conrad because he isn’t the golden child who had died and she blames him and his mental problems on everything wrong in the family — of course all this is done behind closed doors and with a fake, smiling face. She is overly concerned with how the family appears to others, but not with the feelings of her own child and husband. She never tells him she hates him but you know she does. Reminds me so much of my own mother it’s spooky, even down to the same affected, clipped speech, fake mannerisms and cold, condescending demeanor. I remember seeing that movie and being extremely triggered by it. It gave me nightmares for weeks. Excellent acting by MTM, btw, who I hear was basically playing herself.
LikeLiked by 2 people