Listening to Shame — Brene Brown

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I have found Brene Brown’s videos incredibly helpful.  Anyone who has struggled with trauma, shame, and fear of vulnerability would do well to watch her videos.    I’ve already posted “The Power of Vulnerability,” and have watched it dozens of times.   Here’s another one I just watched called “Listening to Shame.”   Brene is one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever seen. Follow her on Youtube!

9 thoughts on “Listening to Shame — Brene Brown”

  1. Reblogged this on Unraveled and the Birth of Joy and commented:
    One of the best talks I have ever heard on courage, vulnerability, empathy, shame and guilt. She repeats what I have been blogging about, especially regarding David Clayton. Shame is not guilt. Vulnerability is not guilt. Shame is what innocent people have, when tempted not to make themselves vulnerable, or grieve, or get righteously angry enough to do the right thing. Guilty sociopaths never feel shame, much less the trait of empathy that makes a person authentically human. Much like a priest who is not really a priest any more, because he tried to shame you by breaking the seal of your confession, lying about it, and spreading scandal against you to his own advantage, lying about you, that you as a business woman, are the one who has a delusional disorder or troubled.

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  4. I love her work on shame and vulnerability. I have included this talk at the bottom of one of my articles: Shame on Shoulds [https://addandsomuchmore.com/2013/03/03/shame-on-shoulds/].
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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  5. It’s kind of amazing how abuse survivors start to cure themselves when they realize that abusers lie, and the truth is usually the opposite.

    For example, if someone lies about you, they are imposing shame on you, and you feel it, only because you are human enough to have healthy empathy for yourself, just like you do for others.

    But for predators and sociopaths, and all dangerous personalities to a great extent, shame is not an issue. They take advantage of our vulnerability because they are really jealous, knowing that vulnerability is just a symptom of being authentically healthy and human.

    I also realized that shame is never from God. Bad people do not feel shame. God never points an accusatory finger at anyone to “cause them shame” although He allows bad people to ultimately punish themselves. Shame is an inner critic lie. Conscience is just a silent knowing that you need to stop doing something, confess something, or do something. If you ignore your conscience for too long you go in the direction of becoming predatorial yourself.

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    • This is an excellent analysis of shame, and no, I don’t think shame is of God, though guilt may be (guilt is different — it’s feeling bad about something you DID, not feeling bad about who you ARE). If you live a life without shame, you are a mentally healthy, confident person; if you live a life without guilt, you are a psychopath.

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