Why Trotting Out the Tropes Makes Us Feel Hollow

A friend called me the other day frustrated about a situation that happened at work.  She was upset and angry, and as she told the story, she asked me, “Don’t you hate it when people sa…

Source: Why Trotting Out the Tropes Makes Us Feel Hollow

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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4 Responses to Why Trotting Out the Tropes Makes Us Feel Hollow

  1. Thank You for reblogging this! I just posted the following comment on the original post, and I want to share it with you:

    The first time someone said that to me, when I was sharing my pain over a recent breakup — “it is what it is” — I felt like I had been slapped. Then I felt like I was being too emotional and overly sensitive. Which made me feel doubly stupid. Stupid for having a boyfriend who would cheat, and stupid for “letting” his infidelity break my heart!

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  2. Yes!!!! So true. I’ve recently just ended a friendship due serial tropes when I had a problem I wanted to talk about.

    Might just be a communication problem… But communication is the cornerstone of everything, from friendships to civilization.

    #notbeingdramaticatall

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent post. I consider “it is what it is” a rude slap in the face, regardless of whether or not the person saying it means it that way. Usually when things “just are” or “remain” a certain bad way it is because too many people have this attitude. The abusive parent punishing the child wrongly because “they said so”, the pederasty or little children within the Church because “the hierarchy is corrupt anyway”. No, those who have power to do something (show empathy, investigate, correct their own error) are usually the ones saying “It is what it is – don’t look here!” because they are either the guilty party or complicit in uncharitable acts towards their neighbor.

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    • luckyotter says:

      I think of it as a way to shirk responsibility. My mother was infamous for saying things like this, basically telling you she was not responsible for how you felt, implying that there was something wrong with you for feeling that way and don’t come to HER for help. I find it infuriating too when people flip off these pat sayings just to get you off their backs.

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