I am a warrior.


survivormeme

This meme spoke to me today. I think it can help others too.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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9 Responses to I am a warrior.

  1. Marcus says:

    Victor, not victim.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Susan says:

    :)! im not trying to be silly, this song was a SERIOUS theme for me as a child in an abusive home..patti smyth “the warrior” it just popped in my head
    I was about 11-12 with my little tape recorder lol, and id listen ten times a day for about a year.. I mean it was my LIFE that song
    I miss how as a teen/child/young adult especially it seemed in the 80s and 90s a song could be your life for a awhile..and get you through.
    it made me feel powerful , supported and like I was valid..and could get through anything. all in a song.
    especially since the warrior concept in that song was about the heart…the heart is the ultimate warrior. not any other methods or ways or tactics,

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan says:

      I mean it never ever occurred to me as a child that the song was about a man and a woman as I see now.. to me it was totally about me and my family. I realize the painful truth
      I still “live” in that song
      in my heart…. my expectations and this “wall” I was fighting so hard for my life and theirs
      I FELT in the last few years that “wall” crumble and come down in pieces around me as an unrealized thing. and my heart broke
      but I still stand
      the wall…. wasn’t needed. it only left me open and exposed. I am the same
      even to zion the bible says
      “this ‘sin’ will be for you as a wall that is cracking and bulging and then suddenly collpases around you”
      “the lord has determined to destoy the “wall” around daughter zion, how he has surrounded her in a dark cloud of his fury!”
      it tells her “take all this punishment as if from a cruel enemy” “you will understand later”
      (lamentations 2-3)
      “after I am done punishing daughtrer zion, I will sing songs over her and never punish her again”
      this is definitely all a HEART that stands through all this
      through an apparent misunderstanding. its what I am always hoping.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I get what Susan says about songs, while I didn’t know it at the time, they helped me to feel and to cope and yes sometimes the song would represent something else to me. And yes, particularly while I was an adolescent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan says:

      :)!
      you know what song I discuss much lately to many people when they say something related…
      its mad max beyond thunderdome tina turner “we don’t need another hero”
      many of us when we felt as we did as children..we looked for a savior /hero. in religion,in a boyfriend.. in drugs,…in something
      the song is about the “two men enter/one man leaves” concept.. (if you remember the movie, two men enter the thunderdome to fight to the death,only one can leave)
      tina says in the song “all we want is life beyond the thunderdome”
      life beyond that whole concept. “we are the children “they” left behind”
      (because they are still fighting?)
      these children band together and have to abandon their hope..forced to abandon their idea of a savior hero.. (Mel Gibson’s character has to teach them roughly that he is NOT this hero) and teaches them to live again on their own as the left behind children.
      he doesn’t know it.. but he actually was their savior. he did it reluctantly…but he also was given that chance.(to meet them). as when he entered that dome.. he broke the rules and could not kill the other man..so he was banished to the desert to die where he met all these gleeful hopeful children who still had a dream.(so they saved him as well)
      I LOVE THAT MOVIE
      since the world seems close to self destruction sometimes, I find comfort in post apocalypse movies and songs with hope in them….anything that pictures destruction and annihilation ive always liked.. not the ways “boys” like them lol
      not destructon for destructions sake and action and gore
      but for the after
      first for the calm before the storm, then for the calm after the storm… then all the hope in rebuilding…
      tears for fears “break it down again” speaks of that exact thing as a beautiful thing.. “beauty in decay”
      I rescued a plant from the trash room and now it has bloomed 3 new flowers! that’s the same way these songs make me feel. I kind of want to be given something “thrown away” and see what I can do with it.. but with space and no one hovering and no former owners coming back for it……. that’s how I feel just about all the time

      Like

  4. hbsuefred says:

    You are a warrior who is fighting for and with your own self. If and when you emerge from the war, which will include many battles, large and small, possibly even after you have declared victory, you will be a battle-scarred veteran and survivor, like me.

    Liked by 1 person

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