How They Abuse — Invalidation

 

Here’s a man’s perspective on emotional abuse which elaborates even further on the sneaky tactics abusers often use to get others to see THEM–not the actual abused–as the victim. There’s even an acronym for this I was not aware of: DARVO (Deflect–Attack–Reverse Victim and Offender)

Roll Away My Shame

In various articles and blogs I’ve read about abuse by invalidation. This has been a huge part of my experience, and is ongoing in a big way because I’m unable to leave my abuser at this time. Invalidation is a tactic that hurts the victim by way of frequently rejecting the victim, disallowing even the basic acceptance that people rely on for normal functioning. It involves questioning or denying the truth of their pain, experience, perception, memory, et cetera.

To be clear, I am not talking about having a difference of opinion, or even a heated disagreement. I’m talking about abuse, which entails a pattern of behavior that is injurious.

Invalidation is one of the most insidious ways to abuse a person. It causes a tremendous amount of strain and damage in the victim. I suspect this is largely because it can go on for so long without being detected…

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