Like Chinese water torture.

This is also the reason why I could never live with my ex again (well, one of many!) In this short conversation, my son was asking his father to please stop spamming his Facebook timeline with negative opinions about certain political candidates, because people my son works with, including his boss read his Facebook page. He’s also friends with his boss in spite of their opposite political leanings. He has asked his father to stop doing this in the past, and has had to block him before because he wouldn’t stop. Watch the way his father takes NO responsibility for his inappropriate behavior and then tries to turn my son into “the bad guy” by making him block him AGAIN. I know EXACTLY what he’s talking about because I also went through this same sort of crap with him over and over again (and he finally blocked ME–good riddance, I say!)  He’s the king of subtle gaslighting, blame shifting and denial.

It seems like a small thing,  maybe if this was an isolated incident it wouldn’t be a big deal–but imagine this type of irritation happening over and over and over, many times a day.  It was crazymaking in the extreme!  I like the way my son handled it:  “Dude. Relax.”






About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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10 Responses to Like Chinese water torture.

  1. Thanks so much for sharing this! I still have problems believing that it’s not all me because of the subtleties in the way my mother manipulates things, so your calling out of an example of something of this type is very reassuring!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. That “just block me” statement, seems like an insidious guilt trip. Sorry your son has to deal with this from a parent no less.

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Yup, that’s what he does. Insidious guilt tripping and gaslighting. If you don’t agree with him 100% about something, he chides you for being against him. Here’s an example. I talked once about a hyper, ill behaved dog that he brought into my house without even talking to me about it first. I love dogs but I didn’t love this dog and I didn’t want or need it. When I tried to reason with him about it (why didn’t you ask me first?) he accused me of being an animal hater. That’s right, just because I didn’t want this Jack Russell in my home, he constantly violated my rights and then told me I was somehow a horrible person because I wouldn’t concede or objected to his wishes. With him, there was no such thing as a gray area or “reason.”


    • Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

      “Just block me” had me a bit astounded too. How about “just act like an adult and a parent and have your child’s best interest in mind.”

      Hmmm…yea, that would make too much sense. Never mind…

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Momof2 says:

    This reminds of the time I had a “friend” who would post kinky stuff on my wall and I would delete it. I have told him once I did not want any AB/DL content on my wall. But instead he still posted about his mommy coming back. I would delete it. I also blocked him. I sometimes wonder if he was also a narcissist because he was very selfish and he never listened and he always called me arrogant and stuff and he acted very clingy and would get upset if I didn’t talk enough and he would say he is boring and say I think he is too and log off. He had also told me several times he was taking me off his list and he would still come back and talk to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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