I’m only 6 years old.

Therapy was more productive tonight…

Down the Rabbit Hole


I’ve been seeing my therapist now for 2 months.   I’ve spent most of these sessions talking about how much I want to get more in touch with my feelings, but when any feelings arise, I find ways to distract or deflect attention away from them.   I’ve been talking the talk but not walking the walk.   I think last week’s session felt especially unproductive because some painful, deep stuff was coming to the surface so I worked doubly hard to avoid confronting it.. I spent almost the entire session talking about inconsequential things and cracking jokes.

On Saturday, I had one of my black mornings, which I wrote about in my last post.  I emailed my therapist to ask him to remind me to talk about these black mornings when we met tonight. I knew that they were key to accessing some painful feelings that I’d been…

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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