How to write every Christmas song ever.

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Want to write a Christmas song? My son wrote up these 7 easy tips today for doing so.

1. Begin with sleigh-bells, fade in instrumentation and use sleigh bells as an accent. Fade out with sleigh bells.

2. Rhyme snow and mistletoe.

3. Rhyme “time of year” and “Christmas cheer”. Bonus points if it’s in the chorus.

4. Talk about the children and how happy or excited they are about this magical time of year. Do it at random for extra cringe.

5. Melodically, lyrically, or structurally rip off any holiday classic at some point throughout the song.

6. Sing about snow, even when you live in a hot area that doesn’t get snow.

7. Make it sound as in-front-of-the-fireplace-sipping-hot-cocoa cheesy as possible.

8. Be sure to use words like “holly”, “merry”, “cheer”, “tidings”, “jolly”, etc even if you’ve never once naturally used it in conversation.

5 thoughts on “How to write every Christmas song ever.”

  1. Number 6. I live in Australia. The heat at this time of year is unbearable. Yet all the shops are playing Xmas songs about “snow” and “winter”. Plus you’ve got to feel sorry for the idiots dressed as Santa in this weather. The world’s gone mad I tell you, mad.

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