When a narcissist finally opens up to you.

can_opener

That’s all you “can” expect.

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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13 Responses to When a narcissist finally opens up to you.

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    That is a great visual!

    Like

  2. Quixie says:

    This is SO freakin true!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nowve666 says:

    My mother once said she feared beneath people’s mask was another mask.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Blog of a Mad Black Woman and commented:
    So true…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. e says:

    Soooo good lol

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lala Simon says:

    Wait. Wait. Narcissists open up?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Involv3d says:

      Some of us might do on rare occasion. Some of us aren’t so scared. Took me a hell of a long time to get to that stage, mind-you. Even met a girl who abused me after ‘detecting’ my undiagnosed Narcissism (but assume for argument that it’s real, as I wouldn’t lie about such awful things after my life experience). She thought it was OK to spike my drink and leave me feeling like shit the next day, without telling me what was going on. After I complained, by way of telling her I hope she dealt with HER issues then she accused me of it (issues of hers which I wasn’t trying to diagnose in a paranoid manner, unlike her ‘trip’, whatever it was – plus I never did anything wrong to her, literally zero). Some Narcissists aren’t self-aware, some are, I guess…
      I’ve opened up to many people, it doesn’t make them respect me or like me, but it’s better than letting them make up stories in their mind based on prejudice, if one is going to be involved with them.

      Liked by 2 people

      • luckyotter says:

        What kind of narcissism are you dx’d with? Covert or grandiose (the classic type in the DSM)? Or are you self diagnosed? I’m glad you’re aware of it at least. 🙂 I’m not diagnosed but I strongly suspect covert narcissism in myself. :/ I’m using DBT skills for BPD I learned back in the 1990s and it’s helping with mindfulness.

        Like

        • Involv3d says:

          Loooonnnnnng story, not officially diagnosed, but have many conditions on top of one another, so working through them (on a poverty budget re: therapists) takes massive amounts of time. From reading this, I think a mixture of both. Maybe my mother has a similar issue, too (albeit very refined or hidden behind a nice mother and selfless personality). She refuses to get any kind of diagnosis, or help, even for depression. Whilst insisting her kids do. I understand this, but it makes me feel scapegoated x 100000000000, thus I seek affection or attention outside of the family, which led me to some problems and having to question my behaviour, as it wasn’t ‘normal’ even by my very loose standards for normal (that is: even outside of narcissistic behaviour). I’m a highly-moral (ethical) person, even if it’s been a struggle to resist my instincts to abuse or punish others… this is due to my ostensible refusing to commit the same against others as had done to me (an ideal if not 100% attained in life). Never preached, just got frustrated with amoral people not linking cause-and-effect or not caring. I can forgive myself for hating the world (with some exceptions of good people who I don’t tend to attract often). I’m a survivor of serious child abuse that was both (often) public and centred very specifically on me as an individual; narcissism following from that kind of thing is a pretty logical conclusion). I haven’t (formally) tried DBT, but it is great to see something more customised to the likes of my experience. People just can’t START to imagine the level of anger I have been filled with since I was a child. The heavy-handed ways I’ve had to deal with it. But that’s a lot of us. Then don’t get me started on what Facebook and such did to my mind, given that it both inherently encourages narcissism AND can control your mood. Via tweaking your news feed and other tricks (look it up, they did it to hundreds of thousands of people in an undisclosed experiment).
          I’m also sick of having the occasional (1 in 3-5 years; short) relationship where the woman gives up on me really quickly without telling me why. Or I get angry with a communications issue even though I typically make effort to communicate above and beyond the minimum to get laid. I guess subconsciously trying to get, or reacting to a new narcissistic ‘supply’ in a sexual / relationship context, I now realise. I might have been in denial, but I’m humble too, so I’d have learnt if people had given me a clue, which they’re not interested in, just self-preservation out of a semi-prejudiced take on mental illness. Or they just don’t know what my problem is, but never bother to discuss it, just either walk away, manipulate me (not cool, whatever I am) etc. I have very strong views on abuse, and conscious abuse is worse than subconscious abuse, simple as that. Choice is a luxury where I’m coming from. No matter how humiliating the self-discovery, it is also empowering and full of vitality, as at least there is now choice of direction. Knowing oneself, gives one power over oneself, and that’s something I guess many abuse survivors have to deal with to heal in any small way.

          Good luck with your issues. There are some very downright ‘evil’ elements and dynamics out there in the world that one way or another prey on children (and adults alike, in some cases). THEY should be the ones feeling the hell. The rest of us can just do what we can with the power we have. It is great to have a choice, even better to exercise it (power), positively.

          Liked by 2 people

      • Lala Simon says:

        You know, are you sure that wasn’t gaslighting? I mean. That’s what this situation sounds like. It sounds like someone came to you with issues and projected them on you. Then again, I do not know you well enough to make that assessment. I just know how abusive Narcissists are. I am sorry that happened to you.

        Like

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