Can a malignant narcissist ever become self aware?

Frankly, I don’t think so, and that’s what makes them malignant. I think there’s a point at which a narcissist can’t ever turn back and that’s the point at which they can’t see their own narcissism or what they do to others. And they don’t care. Malignant narcissists are happy being just the way they are, or they think they’re happy being that way. You can call out their behaviors until you’re blue in the face, and they still won’t see the obvious; instead they will attack and rage. They don’t CARE.

I have no idea how close I might have come to becoming malignant but I just thank the Lord I didn’t. I think I’m low spectrum but still on the spectrum.

If you spent your entire life surrounded by and under the thrall of malignant narcissists, you can’t escape unscathed. If all you get is a case of “fleas,” consider yourself very lucky. These toxic people infect others with their disease. I was with mine far too long.

I couldn’t understand before why it was so important for me to understand people with this disorder. Now everything’s so clear as to why. Even before I knew, I was trying to understand myself and now I’ve been brought to a place where it’s possible to change. I feel like God pulled the scales from my eyes, and I’m so grateful He did.

I’m also glad I chose the truth over saying nothing or taking this blog down (I had considered both). In fact, being in this new state of awareness feels like the beginning of a new journey–harder, but ultimately more rewarding than the last.

Thanks so much to all of you who have remained supportive during this ordeal. I had imagined the worst, but I imagined wrong. 🙂 The worst that’s happened is a few troll comments. No biggie.


22 thoughts on “Can a malignant narcissist ever become self aware?

  1. I think my MN ex, the one who confessed a murder to me and then tried to kill me so I couldn’t “rat him out,” was self aware. He seemed to think that people with empathy and morals were stupid. He called Ayn Rand’s books touting the “virtue of selfishness” his Bibles. He once told me that he believes most murder victims deserve what they get. He also told me that a handwriting expert told him he has the handwriting of a sociopath. He said it like he was proud.

    He was so charming when I met him. Did the whole love-bombing thing. But right after we got married, the mask came off.

    …. Shiver…. I haven’t seen him since 1979 and I still get creeped out when I think about what it was like to be married to him.

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  2. While I agree it is highly unlikely because the very basis of their classification is that they don’t care. I have seen people change unexpectedly. I believe in shakabuku. It is possible for someone to have a life altering experience that changes them forever. Think about it. Do you believe it is possible for someone that is fundamentally a good person to have something happen which makes them so jaded they stop caring? The inverse could also be true.

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    • I see what you’re saying. A high spectrum MN could certainly have a life altering experience and change permanently, but under normal circumstances, I’d say no. It wouldn’t be something they or any other human could do on their own. It would take an act of God, so to speak. But I don’t think even God would step in and change someone unless the person wanted it.
      I haven’t heard of shakabuku. I’ll look that up.


        • Like getting hit upside the head with the truth stick, as I like to put it. 😀

          In rare cases, i think if a MN suffers a complete loss of narcissistic supply (such as a marriage, business, a fortune, imprisonment, etc.) they are forced to face their own emptiness and that is when a window opens where they may want to get help. The problem is, the moment they start feeling better (or the therapy gets too rough) they are likely to leave. The trick is getting one to stick with it.

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  3. Oh lord, this reminds me of this 50’s woman online I told you about in my other comment, telling her what she does and pointing out her own hypocrisy is pointless. She will just insult and attack you and call you the hypocrite and when she does ask what she did to deserve something, she doesn’t even want a real answer. I am thinking she could be this narcissist and she has been the worst i ever seen online. I have never seen anyone else act like her and I have wondered if she was just a troll. She just cannot see herself and doesn’t seem to care who she hurts because she feels justified. I am glad she never had kids, I bet she would have been a bad mother and treat them terrible and she was also abused by her own mother according to her but yet she carries it like it’s a badge of honor and always mentions it in every argument as if it’s relevant. Other child abuse victims don’t talk about their abuse the way she does and act like it’s a badge of honor so it’s made me wonder if what she says is even true. She acts like her own abuse was a accomplishment she achieved. What?

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  4. And at one point it seems like she is self aware because she said in her one post that it was too late for her to get help so that told me she does have awareness of her own issues and then acts like she isn’t aware because of her victim complex and won’t take responsibility for her actions. so she is aware or else she wouldn’t have said it was too late for her to get help.

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