I’m holding my nose…

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Boy with Clothespin On Nose

I did the unthinkable.

I started linking my blog posts with my Facebook account.

I did something even more heinous than that.

I started talking to people on Facebook, and there’s a vast community of narcissistic abuse survivors. The beauty of that is I can talk to these survivors in real time. There’s a whole different and wonderful dynamic to communicating in real time that can enrich your entire blogging experience.

I had all but given up on Facebook because it’s just too connected to my IRL life. My family all want to “friend” me so they can check up on me (my account is set to private except for those I’ve friended). My MN ex is there, and that makes me nervous even though he can’t see the details of my account. People I used to work with and go to school with are all there. The whole freaking world is there. It was scary and still is.

But I changed my mind for two reasons:

1. I no longer care who sees my blog. I still use my fake name on this blog and LinkedIn, but I’m known by my real name on Facebook. It doesn’t matter, since my family already found this blog over a month ago and the world hasn’t come to an end.

It kind of makes me giggle when I think about what they must be thinking if they’re actually reading what I’m saying about them (if they’re even interested enough to read my posts, which they might not be). Even though no one’s real name has ever been used in any of my posts, they will recognize themselves. Maybe that’s what they need though. To see themselves through my eyes, and read all about how they are perceived BY me, instead of them always telling me how they perceive me. Karma is a bitch.

2. It increases this blog’s visibility and reach to a part of the narcissistic abuse community that spends most of its time on Facebook. Like it or not, that’s where most people online can be found. Since doing this, my reach has increased quite a bit. OM would be proud. 🙂

But the third reason is one I never expected or intended. I’m making friends with some amazing people I never would have met had I not made the decision to give Facebook one more shot.

I don’t think I sold out. Do you?

7 thoughts on “I’m holding my nose…”

  3. Good for you for “coming out” on Facebook! I don’t get nearly as personal as you do with your blog but I was still scared to death to put my stuff out there. OM actually gave me the inspiration (he gets around, doesn’t he? ) by posting something about if you believe what you’ve written has value, then why would not post it elsewhere. My first first step was to send my blog link to select family members and the absolute worst thing happened in that NO ONE RESPONDED! I still laugh when I think about that but at the time I was horrified. It turned out to be a good thing though as I didn’t spontaneously combust and realized it doesn’t matter what people think. I’ve recently started posting on FB too. Still scary but empowering for sure.

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    • Yeah, it is empowering. I’m realizing what they think doesn’t matter, and their reaction of ignoring everything I do is actually pretty typical. Whatever they might be thinking, I don’t really care. I speak my truth, and if they have a problem with that, they need to get over it. They might not even be reading my posts anyway. It could be my usual paranoia. They don’t have too much interest in what I do anyway.

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    • I wasn’t going to but it does increase the reach of this blog. I am being careful, Peep, I have heard unpleasant stories about those support boards and yes, some have narcs running them. This isn’t a support board, this is just a FB discussion group and I’m dipping my feet in warily until I see what’s what. So far though, everyone seems great.

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