Life beyond Trump.

lifebeyondtrump

Credit: Me

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
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57 Responses to Life beyond Trump.

  1. On the one hand, I want to stay vigilant as we keep hearing we must be…On the other, just keeping up with newsfeeds on Twitter takes hours out of my day. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Me too! The crazy comes faster than I can keep up with. Sometimes I think this whole thing is a horrible reality show that’s addictive and I just can’t stay away from. We are the laughing stock of the world.
      And, oh yeah, I hear you about the vigilance. It reminds me of my abusive marriage.

      Like

  2. TheOriginalPhoenix says:

    Important reminder. Thanks for sharing. People just need to keep in mind that the government can only affect their lives so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. renxkyoko says:

    I started turning off after the election. No, correct that…. one week before the election. I already kind of knew the outcome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Not me, unfortunately. I wish I could forget about it but I feel like it’s not safe to NOT pay constant attention. It’s also entertaining in a sick way — just one big WTF after another. This is our new normal. :/

      Like

  4. It kind of reminds me of when my brother sends me text messages that are totally irrational, hurtful, disturbing and threatening, and I feel like I must read them to stay safe, or else someone will knock me in the head.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. draughtrider says:

    I’m not an american – but I do wonder if the only real difference between Trump any many other predecessors and candidates is that he wears it all on the outside and just does things overtly, where the others are more polished at presenting themselves and achieve the crazy stuff covertly … and no, you are not the laughing stock of the world, there are crazy politicians everywhere … (just the term crazy politician is a tautology I think … πŸ˜‰ )

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Well, it’s also the speed at which he’s doing things…and now his raging at the courts for doing their job. He seems to be TRYING to upset everyone, tear everything down. He’s utterly incapable of looking beyond his own needs and wants and is offended by EVERYTHING. If he was more “politically correct” he might be even MORE dangerous because what he’s doing would be less obvious.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I think it’s a great point that Trump may just do things more overtly than other politicians. But that’s also why he’s more dangerous, in my opinion.

      To be intelligent yet lack the awareness or conscience that your words and actions are egregious, possibly criminal (endorsing terrorist tactics – direct, unprovoked murder of innocents to “get even” with terrorists, making fun of menstrual periods – which is sexual harassment) is anti social and symptomatic of sociopathy.

      People don’t recognize sociopaths typically because people with a conscience find it hard to believe the sociopath is serious, and not joking.

      But just as we find it hard to imagine lacking a conscience it’s hard for the sociopath to imagine having one, though they are typically great actors and actresses. And whatever Trump “has” it takes up all of his personality – he’s uncompartmentalized, whereas other presidents’ narcissistic (or other) traits were more managed.

      I don’t thing Trump is “courageously” or “honestly” overt – I think he can’t help it.

      Like

  6. Leslie says:

    I’m having a terrible time with all of this. I want to disconnect, and have a few times, but I wonder….what am I missing? Should I be calling a Congressperson today about the horrible bombshell that may have dropped this morning, but I didn’t watch and I logged off facebook, so I don’t even know about it yet? It’s been a massive undertaking just trying to keep up. Just watching those narcissistic traits rear their ugly head on a daily basis is beyond troubling. But, I very much appreciate this post. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Leslie, I so relate.

      What I think is most difficult for me as a survivor and thriver after narcissistic abuse, is having to go through and watch the whole ordeal over again – as a nation – on mega scale.

      It’s not only personally triggering, but my duty to warn cries fell on deaf ears, are still falling on many deaf ears, and the crises is ongoing.

      Having escaped and overcome my own personal crises I am helpless to do anything about this one, even though this time around I’m completely self aware.

      It’s absolute torture.

      Liked by 1 person

      • In fact, our “duty to warn” cries regarding Trump’s dangerous personality still get met with hostility and verbal brutalities by his supporters, those who still identify with the abuser, not the f****ed nation.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          It’s interesting that we learned about narcissism just before this toxic president came into office to destroy the country and the world. I think God does have some kind of plan for us and our backgrounds of abuse and trauma were educations for us to do the work God wants us to do, whatever that may be. I definitely feel like I’m being called to something to fight this, and if I have to die, I want to die for truth and justice. Perhaps that sounds grandiose and deluded, but I do feel we are being called and everything that happened before was our preparation for the role we are supposed to fulfill.

          Liked by 1 person

          • “It’s interesting that we learned about narcissism just before this toxic president came into office to destroy the country and the world. I think God does have some kind of plan for us and our backgrounds of abuse and trauma were educations for us to do the work God wants us to do, whatever that may be. I definitely feel like I’m being called to something to fight this, and if I have to die, I want to die for truth and justice. Perhaps that sounds grandiose and deluded, but I do feel we are being called and everything that happened before was our preparation for the role we are supposed to fulfill.”

            Hear! Hear!

            (No, it does not sound grandiose and deluded. It sounds courageous.)

            It does not sound grandiose because you self question yourself and your intentions – and it does not sound deluded – because you don’t put your “mission from God” above God’s law – as if you alone are privileged and above these restraints.

            I too am a Catholic, and I think it’s noteworthy to ponder that in most of the approved (worthy of credibility- with unexplainable miracles) more recent apparitions of Our Lady – (Lourdes, Fatima, and LaSalette) Mary appeared to common children who had seen much childhood suffering and trauma – or those who had been outright abused.

            There is evidence that the abused have been selected in a special manner by heaven, just as the Christ Child was first presented by Mary to lowly shepherds – not Kings.

            The desire to die for truth and justice is something I know well myself. It is not a literal death wish, but it’s who I am, what drives me at the deepest core of my being, and in a certain sense (I know this may sound contradictory) what is both killing me and gives me life.

            Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              I have to tell you something. I’ve been having doubts about Christianity lately, JUST BECAUSE of the way it’s been co-opted by the Xtian right and turned into something hateful and ugly. In my mind, its hard to separate the right wing politics of authoritarianism from Christianity. I think many people feel that way, and that’s why many good people are leaving the churches or can’t embrace Christianity. It’s the devil’s work, if you’re inclined to believe that way.
              SO anyway, I decided to go to confession, because I hadn’t been to mass in over a month (and I love my church!) I told the priest how I’d been feeling, about Trump and the Xtians who support him (sorry, I am not going to spell it with a C for them because they are Pharisees) and that because of all this, I was having doubts about my faith. Well, here is what he said (after telling me to say 3 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Mary’s, which I did) : “maybe God is calling you to fight against what’s happening. Pray about it, He is your friend.” That’s what he said, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. He also said that many of the parishioners were NOT Trump supporters and felt much the same way. This is causing a lot of Christians to doubt their faith. Work of the devil? Very possibly. The fact that some churches actually told their members they would be going to hell if they didn’t vote for Trump is just evil and wrong. No church should tell people how to vote, and any true Christian would be able to see Trump is the opposite of a Christian on just about every level.

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            • I have a similar problem. Lately I wonder if I stay home from church a lot not because of feeling bad, but because of a spiritual malaise, afraid to hear somebody at church support Trump. It is heartening to see Christians–especially conservative pastors–post blogs saying that Trump is not a Christian.

              But this is a very conservative area, both politically and religiously, so I sometimes dread going around people. Even my husband is very conservative, so I’ve been avoiding political conversations as much as possible, except in areas where we agree. (He doesn’t like Trump, either.)

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              I agree with you. It is encouraging to see that many conservatives are NOT supporting Trump, and are taking a stand. I’ve been seeing a lot more Christian writers and pastors these days, especially online, say that Trump is not Christian and his policies are anti-Christian. Still, there are a great many conservative people in my church that I don’t know well, and I’m always afraid I’ll see a pro-Trump bumper sticker or button, or overhear someone say what a a great job he’s doing (look at all the jobs he’s bringing back, just give him a chance! YUCK!) and I know I’ll want to run away fast. I’m glad your husband is supportive of your views.

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            • The one parish that I’ve found and priest I can talk to regarding Trump – happens to also be – guess what – trained in PTSD. He counsels war veterans at the Veterans Administration as well.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              That’s wonderful!

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        • luckyotter says:

          Right, they are also victims — codependents who identify and collude with the abuser. Or they’re narcissists themselves. Whatever, their brains are under the control of this force of evil who is threatening to destroy everything that was good and just. It’s a regime run by hate.

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          • And Otter, I have to tell you something too.

            I too, do not always go to mass. But that is not because I have lost my Catholic faith, or do believe in the Sacraments anymore. I always try to keep Sunday holy, and make a spiritual act of communion.

            What is going on with me is I’ve realized the amount of fraud committed by clerics, including connections to child abuse, that automatically excommunicates priests and bishops and deprives them of any “office” or “power of office” whether or not they are still recognized by the hierarchy or not. Loss of office for crimes against children or any connection thereof is as old as the Didache. The implications of this are mind blowing. False bishops cannot ordain valid priests – let alone bring us Christ on our altars.

            And I am not saying that all priests and bishops are corrupt. But when my own menial confession was betrayed and falsified by my own trusted priest, I underwent severe triggering of PTSD. First betrayed by an abusive mother (who donated thousands to this priest in her delusionary state and he accepted the funding, even though calling her crazy behind her back) I then felt betrayed by mother church.

            Complex… yes?

            And that’s my point.

            God said let the little children come to me. That’s very simple. And If the act of going to mass causes you extreme suffering and is toxic to you than God would not demand His trusting children get their Catholicism from such an abusive and broken system. He will provide directly. God never deserts us.

            I believe the visible church will appear as if dead before it is renewed and resurrected.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Sorry – meant to say “it’s not that I do not believe in the Sacraments anymore”.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Religious abuse may be the worst kind of abuse — because these are supposed to be pillars of morality and goodwill. Unfortunately many are not. I like that the Catholic Church is taking responsibility for the abuses that went on and not denying they happened. Many other churches and cults — like the Jehovahs Witnesses or the Independent Baptists (a very strict cult among Southern Baptists) — either brush it under the rug or actually blame the victims. Of course abuse still continues, and the Catholic church is not immune. Priests are fallen just like the rest of us. They aren’t gods or even saints. I feel comfortable in my little church, but I’ve been in other Catholic churches where I do not.

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            • I have to only add that although the hierarchy appears to “take responsibility” that they happened (and some indeed do) it moreover hides that they are still happening.

              Also, they typically bargain and buy out victims, and even convicted prelates are shuffled right back into the system.

              Shuffling.

              Have you ever heard of such a thing? “Rehabilitating” “forgiving” the abuser, than letting a convicted child abuser right back into the system?

              If you think I exaggerate please investigate bishopaccountability.org and other data bases. These give an all too clear (with specific case references) indication of how “apologies” for crimes “past” is just continued coverup for what is still the status quo.

              It was also an eye opener when I was a catechist, just a few years back. The “Child abuse Awareness” training film looked like it was made in 1970, and was overt propaganda designed to intentionally distract attention from prelate pederasty and entice catchists to start suspecting parents, or each other. When I questioned the “programming” I was reprimanded.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Otter, can you privately message me info on The Jehovah Witnesses and child abuse? I do not wish to offend any sincere adherents, just trying to help someone I know.

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            • luckyotter says:

              I’m sorry, the ony thing I know about it is that when it happens, it’s kept very hush hush and not discussed. The “elders” make the final decisions and victims are told to be quiet about it or they could be shunned from the church (which means their families can’t talk to them again either). That’s all I know.

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            • Ah. Yes. Sad to say I think that IS what goes on in the Catholic Church as well (in a sense) and a good analogy for what happens to the victims of narcissistic abuse within families.

              I have been shunned from my parish as well as by extended relatives who accuse me of crazy stuff they would not even know – or not know.

              It is horrifically painful.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              I’m sorry. 😦 That really sucks.
              My church isn’t like that, but I’m sure there are other congregations that are very toxic. Find another church, if you can.

              Like

      • Leslie says:

        I agree wholeheartedly. The Pro DT side is so entrenched that they just won’t even listen. They make his work even worse by belittling those of us trying to warn and trying to help. I am also a survivor of narcissistic abuse and this is just triggering me. I have found that going to protests has made me feel better for two reasons. One, I feel like I’m doing something useful. Two, I’m surrounded by like-minded people who make me feel welcome. It’s all I’ve got for the Trump toolbox so far. But, I’m working on it! Slowly.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          Think of it — the pro-DTs are his flying monkeys and their minds are controlled. If we fight for truth and justice, we are going to be persecuted. It’s a harsh reality we have to face. I figure this way — if I must die, I’d rather die fighting against this evil regime than die at their hands as a victim. Never again!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Leslie says:

            100% accurate. The way he attacks people on Twitter when they do something he doesn’t like? Classic.

            Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              He’s definitely a poster boy for malignant NPD, isn’t he? From what I can tell, he possesses all 9 traits. I’d guess there’s some ASPD in there too.

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            • Leslie says:

              Yeah he really is. Narcissist President of the United States. That’s fabulous.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Ain’t it great? :/ On the plus side, a lot more people are going to get educated about narcissism and NPD. Seems like a Pyrrhic victory, though.

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            • Leslie says:

              I don’t know how many people are really paying attention to anything except his twitter rants. We’re going to have to start pointing this stuff out

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              A lot of articles have been written in major publications and news sites about Trump’s malignant narcissism. Of course, to the supporters, that’s “fake news.”

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            • Leslie says:

              Exactly. And that’s a big problem

              Liked by 1 person

            • I’m laughing about all the psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors who have voiced concern over Trump’s obvious malignant narcissism – being referred to as “fake news” – only in a desperate last resort coping skill kind enough of way.

              (“I’m not a narcissist America! Don’t look at that elephant in the room! That’s – Fake News!”)

              I mean, wtf?

              Are we talking to and informing reasoning human beings – or the animals from George Orwell’s Animal Farm?

              Every time I referenced the DSM in my verbal or social media protests I was told I must be addicted to, or get my misinformation from, fake news, be a man “like Hillary” – or currently in possession of a vagina hat that I wear on my head for every day outings.

              Because I look younger than I am (I’m 51) men and women half my age tended to talk down and very patronizingly about “getting my information from the liberal media”.

              I don’t even watch mainline news that much, maybe BBC – or internet videos in which you can listen to Trump’s speeches uncut and in full context.

              Are these die hard Trump supporters really so un self aware they do not realize they’re the ones making false assumptions about others, and simply repeating whatever Trump programmed them with?

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              It’s easy to understand why Orwell’s “1984” is suddenly the best selling book in America.

              Liked by 1 person

            • As I understand it, all sociopaths (ASPD) are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

              Not all narcissists are aggressive, compulsive and deceitful like Trump is, and these are hallmark traits of a sociopath. I think in simple terms it’s fair to say the reason “ordinary” malignant narcissists get away with abuse is because they don’t appear in public anti social, and the reason sociopaths get away with the anti social things they say is because nobody believes they really mean it. They play act a little compassion and toss it in to confuse the listener.

              Well, Trump meant all the egregiously anti social things he said, PLUS he’s a malignant narcissist.

              Liked by 1 person

            • luckyotter says:

              Right, exactly. Trump is not JUST a narcissist. He’s also antisocial and probably a psychopath too. Very dangerous combination. I believe Hitler had the same array of disorders.

              Like

        • Leslie – and all – please be careful if you choose to attend protests. My grown daughter does this and I worry about it because I think we live in a time when attending even peaceful protests – can attract opposite protestors who are fueled by hate and irrationality.

          Violence can occur in a blink of an eye – considering methods of brutality and barbarianism were justified to get Trump elected in the first place.

          I live near DC and a friend was very close to the stage during the inauguration. He said the crowd was a majority of men who, after peppering their rhetoric with religious language chanted “Get the f*** off the stage! Get the f*** off the stage!” to Dem Chuck Schumer when he spoke.

          The chant was loud, in unison, like the cries of the German citizens hailing Hitler.

          My friend became instantly well aware that if Trump supporters felt it necessary to squelch Schumer’s free speech with physical violence, there was nothing the police could do to stop them.

          As well, credible sources report that prior to the election, there was an occasion where protesters on both sides were unknowingly financed to protest – for entertainment purposes. They did not know this was the goal of the employer (they thought it was politically motivated) until after two died as a result of the altercation and the payments were investigated.

          Liked by 1 person

          • luckyotter says:

            I agree some of the left wing protesters are getting out of hand. I understand their anger and frustration, but violent actions and actions meant to shock (I saw one such protester remove all her clothing above the waist and start twerking as a sign of disrespect) are not helping their case! We need to be mindful and engage in peaceful protest and demonstration, without resorting to violence or actions meant to shock or show blatant disrespect. Of course, violence may be necessary if things get to that point and the anti-Trump camp starts being attacked or handled roughly by police. But until it’s necessary, and there’s a true revolution, we need to mind our manners and treat others as we wish to be treated.

            Like

          • Leslie says:

            WOW. That’s just stunning information. Thank you for sharing all that.

            The last protest I was at was very peaceful until someone drove by in a truck and threw something out the window at us. It turned out to be a couple of water balloons, but the police officers monitoring our protest took off after him. They did catch him, I don’t know what the penalty was. But it definitely woke me up. They could have thrown literally anything at us. Thankfully it was something harmless. But, it does show that the Trumplets (which I’ve decided to call them, after all, apparently I’m a snowflake) will go to some terrible lengths to stop us. But, while I will be more cautious and observant, I will be going out again. I think it’s very important for our voices to be heard. That can be calling or protesting, whatever makes each person the most comfortable. (although when I protest, I also call)

            Liked by 1 person

      • luckyotter says:

        Not to dismiss the experience to all this of those who were raised in normal families and weren’t exposed to abuse, but I think it’s even harder for those of us who DID experience trauma and abuse, becuase everythinng about this administration and its leader is so damn TRIGGERING. The hypervigilance keeps me glued to the news on TV and the Internet, and every day the abuse gets worse.

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    • luckyotter says:

      I knew this man had a bad case of NPD but I never imagined in my worst nightmares it would be THIS bad.

      Like

      • Leslie says:

        Yeah, sadly I’ve known that he’s been like this for a long time. I used to live outside Philadelphia, PA and I watched the casino debacle. I should have stood up more forcefully against him when I had the chance.

        Liked by 1 person

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