One thing about the cyber-world that bugs me is its unstable, temporary nature. You can get really close to someone online and feel like you’ve been best friends for years, but because you don’t really know anything about them (their real name, where they live, what their favorite color is, etc.), if they suddenly take down their blog or just stop posting anything in it, there’s no way to find out what happened to them. Did they die? Are they in jail? Sick? Hard drive attacked by a virus? Abducted by aliens? Just don’t want to blog anymore?
There’s no way to ever find out, and it sucks because you’ve grown to care so much about the soul behind the words, even if you couldn’t recognize them if they were walking down the street. This goes for frequent commenters too, who are very active for awhile and then suddenly vanish. Only in that case, you also wonder if they might have grown bored with your blog or if you said something that pissed them off.
Lucky Otter,
Hello the house… Now Otter, Ma’am, you not meaning that you are gonna shoot me in the rear when I turn and run are you???? I came to read the rest, then decided I better check in.
Oh no, I reckon I told you I wouldn’t play around so much, haha Ms Otter I just can’t help it.
I hope you had a blessed weekend, and you know you summed up what a whole lot of us feel like, sometimes all you got left is an empty feeling.
Good Post!
Robert
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Thanks for checking in, BH! Now I don’t have to worry. LOL!
My weekend was okay. Hope you had a good weekend too.
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L, I just can’t help it, you are such a nice, good hearted person, the little boy in me thinks to myself, if someone hasn’t been here before, she is going to look out that window and see them backing away and know I am hiding in the bushes, and just the moment they begin to feel safe, I am lighting this firecracker and BLAM….
Now L… don’t you pull that rope, whats in that buc…..bucket is SOAP and it’s in my mouth… boohoo I’m telling uh… Oh I was just uh funning, Good Bye Ms L
(OH DARN I hated lifeboy and I hate it now spitooee)
Robert
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LOL! You are too funny. Never tried Lifeboy soap. I alway hated Ivory.
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L, you never had your mouth washed out with soap???? Wow
You just change my attitude everytime I got the blues, I have told you that before, you always seem to be right there, and there you were today.
Thank You L
Robert
PS – I have been blue because of the things that have happened in my field of Our Children, and I polled Our Circle (my advisers) after Chelsea’s lie
So I might suggest if you are for that #AntiChild #AntiLife Beast please don’t read my next post on the website.
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I understand your point soooooo well! I’ve written to bloggers in the past to know if their break was permanent or not, just disappointed not to read them anymore. More recently, I lost my favorite Blogger, after one year of intense posting. I feel like I had to quit cold turkey, and after a week of almost no posting at all, I am afraid I might be going into withdrawal symptoms any moment now… As for readers not commenting anymore, I don’t have that problem, still being in the early stage of my Blog, and not having a lot of people leaving comments yet 😉
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You can get sorta attached to certain bloggers so it can be a bit traumatic if they just stop posting or worse, take their blog down. It happened recently. There was a new blogger who only had her blog up for about a month but was a RABID poster and also commented on a lot of blogs including this one. Then one day her blog was just not there. It was as if she’d never existed and it was only a dream. The good thing is, she wasn’t blogging long enough for me to get really attached. I hope she is okay.
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I guess it just shows the power of words 🙂
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Absolutely!
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Btw, happy to have found your Blog… I really enjoy your writing! 🙂
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Thanks! I have yet to check yours. 😳 I will though.
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In my past I’ve taken down some blogs for reasons I’ll share if it is helpful
1. One time, I’d made the mistake of sharing an anonymous blog that was going well with a coworker. I’d made some negative comments about social services and how they could improve without using my real name or my real work place. My coworker it turned out wanted my position, went to my boss said I had a secret blog revealing things about work (not true) I generically gave examples of ways that social services alienate clients and why.
Within 2 weeks I was told to leave my position without giving reason except “you don’t fit in”. Literally had HR walk to my desk say “get your stuff and leave you don’t fit in here” this despite extremely positive employee reviews and never being late and being told everyone loved working with me just 2 weeks before.
It was a heartbreaking experience–I had it confirmed when a friend told me that Bruce–his real name– had gone to management about some blog I had. He was the Christian coworker I loaned money to and gave a ride to work when his car broke down, and yes, he got my position. I was so devastated I took the whole blog down.
OTHER REASONS..
2. I took a blog down when my sister figured out it was my blog and began to critique my writing
3. I took one down when I began to feel really vulnerable about all the things I’d shared.
4 And I took one down when I got a job and couldn’t give adequate attention to it.
There are lots or reasons to take them down sometimes people get discouraged because their readership doesn’t grow. I have another blog, a professional one with about 30 readers that consistently read it and have for years. Rarely get comments but maintain a presence. I’d give it up if I didn’t feel a calling to keep it going for those 30 readers.
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I love your blog. It’s among my very favorites. I do understand sometimes there are good reasons to take one down or stop posting.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, with the nasty coworker who wanted your job and told all those lies about what you were writing. Sounds like a very toxic place to work, full of narcs, if you ask me. Telling you you don’t fit in. NOT NICE AT ALL! I also understand that “too vulnerable” feeling. I have been tempted twice to take my blog down, but usually I keep some posts set to private for awhile before I make them public, if I do at all. I’ve usually not regretted posting it eventually, but I feel like I have to be very careful and am still a bit hesitant to talk about my family too much, because I think they read this blog.
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Thank you I’m glad you like the blog that means a lot to me. The wound of being told to get out and those words “you don’t fit in” put me in a tailspin of withdrawal that I’m still not over. Can you get PTSD from a work place? I think you can because i have flashbacks of that day. She said “we are an at will employer, we don’t have to give you any reason” adding that “you don’t fit in” is enough reason. In fact, probably in question was the right to free speech perhaps something that could have been challenged in court. The clients were incensed but the pain remained and the betrayal from a “friend” hurt the most. I didn’t know about Bruce until about 6 months later when I was so depressed I could hardly speak. Its been 3 years now and I am still ashamed and feel my career was really damaged. One of those griefs God can carry for us if we allow it…
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I absolutely think you can get C-PTSd or PTSD from a toxic workplace. It’s kind of a stand in for a family and thereare even scapegoats and Golden children. They hang the threat of being fired over your head so they can control you.
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Great post.
I know that when I took a blog break and started blogging I was wondering if readers where still interested or whether they had “unfollowed” during my months of silence. I was happy to see a lot of blog friends still around but also missed others who had disappeared without giving a clue. Not that they have to of course! Everyone has his/her reasons for blogging and for continuing or stopping.
Also – and even more- annoying I find it when WP decides for me to unfollow a blog and won’t show them anymore in my Reader. This has happened quite often…grrr
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WP plays lots of “games” like that and it’s annoying.
I follow so many blogs (I try to do follow for follow) I don’t even know when WP has randomly made me unfollow someone’s blog unless its one of the ones I read regularly and I suddenly stop getting their notifications. I’ve never deliberately unfollowed a WP blog, so I’m probably following a lot of inactive ones now.
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I totally understand what you mean!
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Reblogged this on DREAM BIG DREAM OFTEN and commented:
Interesting thought on Lucky Otter’s Haven!
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Thank you! I wrote this as a “rush post,” thought it would bore people, but apparently a lot of people can relate.
BTW, I LOVE your blog’s new look! So much cleaner and loads faster too.
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I love these types of posts btw. And thank you on the theme. I thought it was time for an upgrade. 🙂
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Yes, I like it much better. And I’m glad you like these kinds of posts–I should write more of them! (check out in the header, I have a tab called “The Art of Blogging” — all my articles about blogging/writing are there. There are quite a few.
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I’ll check them out.
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An excellent topic. A bit of everything I suspect.
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Expressed perfectly! Being brand new to blogging, I followed another new blogger via “bloggingfunadamentals” and was in awe of her bravery. She was writing about a terrible event in her youth and it seemed to me to take incredible strength. After just a few posts she was gone. I wonder if sharing the story was just too much. If I could, I would tell her how inspiring her strength and courage was to me.
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I know that feeling. It’s like there’s no closure, no opportunity to even express your appreciation.
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In some cases it truly worries me! There was one blogger I followed and he posted about being really sick and then poof… disappeared… now, months later, he has replied to an email. I thought he was gone for real but he just got a great job…
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I’m sure that was a relief!
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There have been a few bloggers whose work I have really enjoyed who just suddenly stopped posting, which I think is a shame. I know sometimes life gets in the way and sometimes people get to a point with blogging where they actually start to dislike the process of writing, but I think some of them have just got frustrated that there blog isn’t getting more attention.
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I think sometimes that could be true too. If their main focus was to have a popular blog with a lot of activity they could get frustrated after a year or two if the blog isn’t getting lots of traffic.
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I’ve deactivated and reactivated FB and twitter so many times, it’s not funny. I struggle daily, to control my erratic behaviour and have only recently started to seek help.
I’ve never completely deactivated my blogs but I have locked them down for a while. I’m overly cautious/hyper-vigilant/slightly paranoid, which goes with the CPTSD diagnosis.
My self esteem is dire, I feel useless, worthless and deeply depressed most of the time and when it becomes particularly bad, I just want to disappear.
Maybe the people that have a keen interest and affinity to your work, are also suffering and working through their own demons, making them a little erratic, overly cautious, struggling through a dark time or have someone in their life they’re scared of..a Narc for instance? It’s hard to know but I can understand why it’s frustrating.
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I’m sorry you’re struggling, Touch of Cinnamon (nice username) and you’re not alone with the hypervigilance, activating/deactivating, etc. Nor are you the first person I’ve met with CPTSD who does this. I know a few others, and I did set my other blog to private for about a month because of my paranoia so I can relate too. Hang in there, it will get easier. Hugs!
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Thank you Lucky Otter. Reading back my comment above, I sound like I’m pretty pathetic. It wasn’t my intention to glean sympathy, I struggle accepting it and believing that anyone genuinely feels it, especially when they don’t know me. Because of that, I’ve avoided discussing it at all until one of your recent posts.
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You don’t sound any more pathetic than anyone else who comments on my blog. We’re all in this together! Hugs.
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It is difficult at best trying to accept the unknown – but it doubles (at least) when applied to someone we have grown attached to in any form.
I understand the drive to just “stop and disappear” — but it sure doesn’t make it any easier to accept when someone else does.
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I know exactly what you mean. One blogger I really connected with had stress issues and then suddenly was gone which I found worrying. And I’ll never know. Such is the world of blogging I guess.
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I had a stalking issue on social media in the past. It makes me ready to pull the plug quickly. Better safe than sorry I think. I’m discovering that blogging can take a lot of time. It think lack of time might be a big reason people disappear or cut down on their time to comment.
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That must have been scary. Glad you’re safe now.
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I get concerned when a blogger/commenter I’ve been following and interacting with vanishes without any explanation. It’s happened several times and it’s very disturbing.
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The sad truth about the online community. I think that sometimes it’s just life that gets in the way of them to be involved anymore. They might get too busy or just something unexpected happens.
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Hi Lucky Otter’s Haven,
Like others here, I can totally relate. There was a blogger I got really close with. I felt we were friends. She just stopped blogging. I was so concerned. I Emailed her but did not receive a response.
Then, one day, she just started blogging again. When I expressed relief, she acted like we were strangers. Then, she stopped again. I agree with what someone here wrote. This appears to be the nature of blogging.
Janice
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Hi Janice!
Wow, that is weird. Makes you wonder about people. But I agree it does seem to be the nature of blogging. I have no plans to stop!
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awww hmm well don’t you go and do that I will freak out!! and wonder greatly!!
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Barring my own death, I doubt I will ever just disappear.
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